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 Dec 2013 Amber
katie
The Bathtub.
 Dec 2013 Amber
katie
Privacy to sing;
             to think;
             to dance;
             to slice.

to be or not to be

left with my thoughts
let them stir themselves
like a spoilt stew
or limp, useless, worthless, rotten meat
that's good for nothing.
dead and left for
flies and worms;

i hath made worms meat of me.

deserted and alone
with my inner most thoughts;
                                desires;
                                wants;
                                passions;  

My sacred groove
My sanctity
My hollow alter and
Ceramic pool of most holiest
tap water.
Locked.

Where noone can capture
my hunchback, deformed, depressed
thoughts and passions
As I Cry
Sanctity.

where they cannot be killed
where i can bow so stubborn knees
but
not regret the effects of mine crimes?

help angels, make assay.

i am naked
i am relieved
i am pleasured
i am truthful
in this hollow tub of release
i thank whoever invented indoor plumbing
for my madness and sanity

for all that glitters is not gold.
 Nov 2013 Amber
Makala
As a little girl, my mother and father would drive around while smoking in the car, with the window rolled down, as I would roll up the ends of my sleeves clenching them towards my nose to be rid of the smell I have never liked.

I believed that when my parents would smoke around me, I was a smoker too. I had had the scent of a smoker too. But when I was with you, it was different.

That night, not caring how much I hated those sticks of paper as a child, I would watch you put it in your mouth and on your lips, inhaling it until you couldn't any further.  I silently sat in the backseat admiring how you would slowly inhale and exhale the toxic fumes it gave off.

That night, I went home.
I walked in through my back door.
I slid my shoes off and tiptoed toward my bedroom.
I passed my parents' room, witnessing them sound asleep next to each other, peacefully.
I took off my old grey sweatshirt and inhaled slowly, the smell of your secondhand smoke, and smiled.
Because it was yours.

I hated those sticks of paper full of toxic fumes.
I hated the smell of those sticks of paper full of toxic fumes.
Now, myself, I am one of those sticks of paper full of toxic fumes.
We both have touched your pink, chapped lips, got used, and are now thrown away.
~
 Nov 2013 Amber
RileyEGoodwin
A lonesome night, just another fight, a fight with a victor none, a fight from which you wish to run, with sorrow filled music as a mental weight, a weight to keep afloat the snake, the twisted slither of a minds brittle make, with errors you cannot shake, we only suffer as we lie awake, slowly fading, slowly dying, each minute passed a minute more rotten, each minute passed another nail in the coffin.
Sleepless, Night, Torment
 Nov 2013 Amber
Robert Herrick
Have ye beheld (with much delight)
A red rose peeping through a white?
Or else a cherry (double graced)
Within a lily? Centre placed?
Or ever marked the pretty beam
A strawberry shows half drowned in cream?
Or seen rich rubies blushing through
A pure smooth pearl, and orient too?
So like to this, nay all the rest,
Is each neat niplet of her breast.
 Nov 2013 Amber
Lane Care
When I look in the mirror,
I dont see what you see.
To me it feels like the whole world is targeting me!
Despite all the pain and hardships I seen,
It has changed what I have inside of me.
I envy all the bad things,
My reflection is starting to scare me
Why won't it stop?
The voices inside just won't leave!
I regret looking in the mirror,
That's bouncing back at me.
The voices are telling me wrong
Hiding the rightness behind those hidden walls
When I look in the mirror,
The same thing happens to me
I reach back to the past,
Where I shouldn't be
It hurts,
Cuz' I don't want to relive my sad memories
I try to be strong for others
But I'm dying on the inside
When I look in the mirror,
I don't see what you see
To me it feels like the whole world is targeting me
Despite all the pain and hardships I seen
It WILL NOT change what I have inside of me!
 Sep 2013 Amber
Laura Stridiron
I foster demons
So if have any that scare you at night
wake you from dreams with a terrible fright
make themselves known at inopportune times
or force you to contemplate terrible crimes
bring them to me.
Tell me your tales about sad childhood days
regrets for things done in a teens drunken haze.
Name all the people who hurt and betrayed you,
sick evil ******* who laughed as they played you.
Recount the memories that cause so much pain
open your heart, let the bad feelings drain.
I foster demons
I'll welcome them into my soul, I will tame them
directing their rage into good, I will train them.
And when the times right and I know they are strong
I'll channel their anger to where it belongs.
You see-
I'm working on a hit list, it grows longer every day
and soon those demon makers are gonna have to pay
I foster demons
Bring them to me.
 Aug 2013 Amber
Lapis Solarflare
That familiar burning is back again.
The moment when my tears come when not wanted,
but I can't stop.

A few small words hurt me again,
but isn't that all it takes?

I wonder often why I'm still here--
why I haven't thrown myself away...

I guess I'm scared...
but not of death,
just of people being disappointed in me.
But I guess they always are anyway.

A little love...
A little positive encouragement...
A little care and effort from the people I actually want it from.
Is that so hard?

I guess it is...
Sorry for being selfish.
If I could give up so easily, I would,
but I can't,
so I just scream and cry
in hopes to be heard and understood,
but that's crazy, huh?

At least I tried.
 Aug 2013 Amber
Sarina
is that my heartbeat
or thunder eating its way
through my bedroom walls?
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