Why must people always crave
What they cant have
Why must we long
For a fantasy
Why must we reach
For the insane
Why must we wish
For the impossible

-I’ll never be able to have you
But I still want you

I don't know
If it's love
But I can't deny the fact
That when you hold me
I feel
Safe

I want to feel
Like I’ve known you
Forever

Is it worse
To be sad
Or to be angry
Is it better
To drown in the waterfalls
That I create
Or to burn alive
From the fire making its way
Up my throat
Because I’ve experienced both
And I’d rather be killed by sadness
Then to **** by anger

You are just
Lust
But I
Love
It so much

I am a fighter
I was born with the strength of a lion
And the fragility of a flower
I resemble a rose
Soft and beautiful
But needs a thorny exterior to protect itself
I am soft and beautiful
But I need a thorny exterior to protect myself
My heart can be naive sometimes
Fall for the wrong ones
Let the dangerous ones in
And offer them a home
By my rib cage still offers protection
My own bones
Myself
Being the only form of protection that is sure
To never let me down
I am the only form of protection
For myself
That is sure to never fail
I am a fighter
I was not born like the lion
I am the lion
I was not born like a flower
I am the flower
Though I may be fragile
I still have a roar
These words are my war cry
When people take my naive heart
And use it
And abuse it
I roar
When you pick my petals from my stem
And watch them flutter and dance to the ground
I will ***** you with a thorn
I have been picked more times than I can count
Used for personal gain and pleasure
Stripped of my beauty
Then discarded
But just because I allow it in that one moment
Does not mean I will forever
People forget
I am a fighter
They see the scars on my wrists
And see them as a sign of weakness
But for me
I see them as a sign of growth
Each line drawings a map of my life
The roads I have taken
The choices I have made
That led me down each path I have taken
Everything that had happened
To put me in the place I am in
To make me the person I am today
I see those scars
As a sign of strength
At a time when I wanted to
Give up
At a time when I was so close to
Letting go
I had the strength
To persevere
Struggle through the pain
And push through
And while it wasn't healthy
It was the choice I made
That choice made me grow
That scar shows my strength
Shows me that while my petals
Were being plucked
I still had the lion
The roar
Inside me
I am a fighter

You stole from me
Something I can never get back
Something that I thought of all people who would take it
It would be a man
Another disgusting old man who pervs on young women
Or a young boy who doesn't know how to treat a woman
And still lets his hands roams with the immaturity of a child
But no
It was you
A woman
A “friend”
I hate that every time I
Hear your name
See your face
Or anything that reminds me of you
Makes my stomach churn
My skin crawls and chills thinking about the way you touched me
The way I touched you
If only I could stretch my fingers through my temples and rip away the thought of you
To tear out my tongue and bite off every finger
Would be the only true way to rid you from my flesh
To dismantle myself
Melt off every piece of meat you look at with hunger
Every drop of my being you thirst for
Rip off every pleasing aspect of myself
The ******* you feel the right touch
The *** you feel entitled to grab
The mouth that you shoved your filthy fingers into
So that nothing can remind me of you
But to do that would be to
Destroy myself
And I have too full a fire to let you win
To allow you to win over me in such a way wouldn't put an end to what you did
To what you've done
To what you will do
The way you've hurt me is something you will refuse to believe
Because you
Of all people
After everything you say you fight for
After everything you say your against
You became the very things you loathe
Look in the mirror
Look in the ******* mirror
Shatter the ******* mirror with your grisly being
But knowing you
You would take the glass to open up another woman
Or to cut another with your vengeful spirit
Seeing how you act as if nothing happened makes my skull crack and explode
Makes me want to tear my vocal chords
To unhinge my jaw apart from my skull
And pry my mouth open
Would be the only true way for you understand my volume
To force my mouth open
The way you forcefully opened mine
If only I could tell you how i feel
Everything you've done to shatter my being
The way you act as if nothing is happening
“I still care about Sophie”
If you did
You wouldn’t have done the things you did
But after everything
You're not worth the wasted breath it would take to tell you

- You disgust me

I noticed a scar on your knee
a small white little line marking your kneecap
scars are not anything new
everyone has them
little marks of history
but everyone's scar is unique to them
little marks of their history
I saw your scar
I little mark of your history
a little piece of your past
I felt an overwhelming urge to ask
I wanted to know
To know you
your past
past events
past choices
past mistakes
past errors
your scar is a little bit of you
a tiny story etched in your skin
and I want to know how you got that scar
I want to know your story
I want to know your life
I want to know you

I will stand on a pedestal
Just for you
I present myself
For you to judge
Because that what I am meant for
Right
That is my purpose
For you to judge
For you to objectify
For you to criticize
Won’t you tell me everything that’s wrong with me
Won’t you tell me everything I have to fix
Sculpt me into the form
Sculpt me into the image
That in your eyes
Is
Perfection
Because that is what I am
Imperfection
For you to judge
For you to objectify
Something for you to change
Because I must change
To please

I don’t think I’m meant to be loved
I’m just meant to be someones lust
Someones eye candy
Someone’s image to get off to
Someone’s object they can use when they’re having a craving
Someone’s dessert when they are hungry for something sweet
That’s all I’ve ever experienced
I’m a lust
Not a love