If,
at the end of my life,
you were to ask me about the one thing I loved the most
I would answer
"Breathing"
because it was the one thing that
never
left
all that I have ever truly known
is the air in my lungs
and the ground at my feet

The panic rises
Your secrets piled up like old books on a shelf
Untouched by anyone
Except for you

Your mouth feels funny
Hands trembling
You try to brush your teeth

You look in the mirror
Staring back at the girl
Dark circles under her eyes
Hair going every which way
Shirt so long
It could be a dress
Is this really what it has come to?

I looked at you and I knew I was not magnificent
but then you turned to face me
and your eyes convinced me otherwise
the way you looked at me so quizzically
attempting to figure out the patterns in my eye movements
and the slight shape my lips take
when I said "hello"
it's beautiful really
the way you set your jaw
when you concentrate

Have I never told you before?

you are so deep
and I don't think I ever want to reach the bottom
I would jump
I would fall
if I could find an edge
if I could only find an edge

of you