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RA Apr 2014
(2)
“I only regret
that I won’t remember
all of the names,” she said
fervently, pausing
on the way out
of the cemetery, where verdant moss
and coral-fine trees
grew between the graves of the famous
and the anonymous
alike.
Cmentarz ul. Okopowa, Poland
Monday, March 17, 2014
3:27 PM

From my collection, Poems from Poland.
RA Apr 2014
You laugh
in the rain, feeling guilty
for laughing in
a graveyard. Tiny

white flakes are
falling, swirling, sticking
to your clothes. You

have not seen snow in
years, you won’t see snow
even now, you realize as
you watch and these
colorless specks

don’t melt. You
are not seeing snow, what
you smell is not
by chance. You squint, seeing
the ash settle

on the graveyard: the rows
of crooked markers, green
and overlapping
with age, like a giant’s
rotted teeth; your friends;
and their solemn faces. Maybe

this time it is wood
that they are burning, but you
cannot forget when
human beings were considered no better
than fuel.
Cmentarz ul. Okopowa. Poland
Monday, March 17, 2014
2:40 PM

Today starts a new collection of mine, poems I wrote during a trip to Poland, through death camps and the like.
RA Mar 2014
It's funny how
a minute after you walk out
my room seems so
much more incredibly empty.
March 17, 2014
12:05 AM
RA Mar 2014
Feeling this way should
not be allowed, right
now, in the very middle
of the week. Feeling
like this is not
helpful, not
when I have homework and
test and teachers and parents
and friends? I wish
feeling like this was never
allowed, not ever, but
my genetic makeup and
predispositions and family and
world and friends
do not allow this wishful thinking
to be reality. If I must
feel like this, at least
let it be later,
during the weekend, I
will curl up with
my covers and no one
will blink an eye when
I don't leave my room
again.
March 5, 2014
10:35 PM
RA Mar 2014
Sometimes I think that I can change
myself, that I can choose
not to be a fire, that
if I burn with only
the smallest flame, my heat
and light will be hidden

long enough for me to forget
myself. You never allow me
that luxury, of not knowing

who I am. You fan
the ember of my soul, pushing me
out into the tendrils that strive
upwards, making me live
in the brilliant flashes and
blinding sparks that exist

one moment and are gone
the next. You make me feel
that I shine so brightly
sometimes, and then at others

I have floated upwards, one
tiny spark against
a vast sky, so far away

from the light of your collective being.
My existence in your vicinity
is so mercurial, but

only around you
am I so gloriously
alive.
March 5/9, 2014
edited March 30, 2014
RA Mar 2014
I miss
those two hours we stole
that night, the way the road looked
under lamplight, stretching out
until after our eyes
would stop seeing, until
after where the circle of electric radiance
met its border, maybe
until forever. I miss
the enthusiasm, your nodding
when I would explain the way
my psychological manipulation works, how
our metaphors, for that feeling
that seems so normal, and yet so terrible,
matched perfectly. And the cold,
the gravel road, the aching feet, all that
I would gladly take for some more time
with you.
I miss
that hour we took unapologetically
the next day, even the time we spent looking
for the right spot, long as it was,
the gentle rocking of the hammock
and the snap-snap-snap
as we both pulled twigs apart
to keep our hands busy. I miss
that one particular moment
when I made you laugh, an inane comment
about getting my shoes *****, and how
your head dipped and skimmed
my shoulder, for just a second.
I guess, though I miss
all of these moments, mostly
I miss
you.
For BW

March 15, 2014
12:35 AM

Unedited. I felt like to edit would be to diminish the power of the original.
RA Mar 2014
There's a hole in
you, a missing
piece. Listen, if you shove
in any piece
you think might vaguely
resemble your
hole, you will end
up disrupting every
single one of your other
parts. Darling, we
are looking for all
the puzzle shards alongside
you, just watch
out, as dislodging us would
make our attempts so
much harder.
March 13, 2014
9:50 PM
edited March 30, 2014
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