The journey inside my inner world

As cliché as it sounds, finding the expression of the universe in myself

Discovering the sides of myself I didn’t know existed

Feeding my soul with the best of the masterpieces in search of life, inspiration, driving force and excitement

Getting to the bottom of everything

Questioning everything I’ve always accepted as the ultimate truth

Waking up my true self

Rather than battling demons for the sake of battling the dark, trying to understand what lies underneath

Embracing the worst alongside the best to come to the surface

Trying to reconnect the conscious with the subconscious

Rethinking, rejecting, eliminating, setting up the boundaries, manifesting, trying, learning, opening up

Aiming for balance

Healing, growing, pushing through pain knowing that short-term discomfort leads to well-deserved enlightening and long-term peace

For once I’m content
My soul knows no trouble
Don’t have to pretend
No more of the struggle  

Through all the observed, absorbed and accepted
Through all the unsaid, hurtful, deceptive
With each soul that I met
And through every heartbreak
Was built my true self

And so peace descended into my soul
And so I learnt acceptance is above all
Tormented spirit was set to be free
I’m celebrating the birth of new me.

I want to be cold
I like feeling strong
I’m finally bold
Although it took long

But then you come and I change
You talk to my heart
This new feeling is strange
My walls fall apart

You know the untold
You touch the untouched
You make me unfold
Stop if it’s too much

Too free to be tamed
Reckless, but sane
Let us be close
Yet not overdose.

You want pure passion
Love that consumes you
On the verge of obsession
Making you lose it
When feelings take over
You can’t take it slower
Acting on impulse
No way to resist it

You want it be deep
Plain, not steep
Bond built on trust
Over years that passed
Calming and stable
But not being faded

Pick wrong and you lose
What do you choose?

Who am I?
What have I become?

The warrior in me is dead.

I wonder why
And when it all began

When did I lose track?

When did my mind get confused
When did I stop telling the truth
Why did I let the darkness take over
Will it all ever be over?

Will I ever feel home again?
Will ever this torture come to an end?
Will I be myself? Happy and peaceful
Healing others and feeling blissful

Hope. Patience. Time.
My true self will be hard to find.

My drug
Obsession and addiction

Can’t stop
I know you have some issues

You open up but then withdraw
So close beside but then you go

Can’t wait, I push, I want it all
But all I do is hit the wall

Too soon, too much, yet not enough
Now I can see- must have been tough

No hate, no tears, I’ll just go
I tried my best but hit the wall.

People around me
Energy-drowning

I hear them talking
Small talk about nothing
I want to escape it
Control what I take in

I’m right in the crowd
Yet I’m all alone
My thoughts are too loud
I want to go home

Are these all wrong people?
Am I being wrong?
Take me somewhere peaceful
Leave me all alone.

Longing all day for nighttime
To heal from the noise and mess

For thoughts to collect and brighten
To unburden what holds me back.

Alone in soothing twilight
Awaiting the moon to ignite
Starving for dim starlight
I’m gazing through the night.

I found my personal shelter
I’m stronger than ever before
I’m figuring what really matters
No need to rush anymore

Only in sheer darkness
Can I find way back to myself
Only in serene silence
Can I hear my true self.

Eyes like ocean
I want to drown

I should be cautious
But I'm falling down

I want your touch
I want your soul
Is that too much
If I want you all?

Tell me your story
Let me caress you
I admire your glory
And what you have gone through

Every inch of your body is pure perfection
My soul is leaning to yours for connection

Beside you it's cosy
Time running slowly
Hands intertwined
Long-sought peace of mind

I'm lost in your thoughts
I want to be yours
Don't let me down
I want to drown.

Too bad not to fit in
Too tired of overthinking

Never felt like I’m home
Outsider doomed to be alone

Your rules are my sacrifice
Make me numb and paralyzed
I was born free in a cage
Please accept that I won’t change

Look, I’m sorry I’m not the same
Don’t worry, I’ll be okay
Let me love you from far away
Please don’t ever ask me to stay

I hoped you would feel my pain
You never listened, that’s a shame
I’m a black sheep
You don’t want me
I do love you
Though never showed it.

I’m all by myself
I’m looking for someone
For someone I am and someone I’m not

Don’t want to expect that all of a sudden
It’ll all be all right, not ******* in knots

My mind is confused
Exhausted and bruised
You are not helping
I’m almost yelping

You’re suffocating
I’m full of hatred
Just let me be me
I’m not what I seem

I don’t want to hurt you
But hey, you deserve it
You built all these walls
And it’s getting worse

Just give me my freedom
Stop acting like victim
We all gonna die
But are we alive?