Who am I?
What have I become?

The warrior in me is dead.

I wonder why
And when it all began

When did I lose track?

When did my mind get confused
When did I stop telling the truth
Why did I let the darkness take over
Will it all ever be over?

Will I ever feel home again?
Will ever this torture come to an end?
Will I be myself? Happy and peaceful
Healing others and feeling blissful

Hope. Patience. Time.
My true self will be hard to find.

Longing all day for nighttime
To heal from the noise and mess

For thoughts to collect and brighten
To unburden what holds me back.

Alone in soothing twilight
Awaiting the moon to ignite
Starving for dim starlight
I’m gazing through the night.

I found my personal shelter
I’m stronger than ever before
I’m figuring what really matters
No need to rush anymore

Only in sheer darkness
Can I find way back to myself
Only in serene silence
Can I hear my true self.

For once I’m content
My soul knows no trouble
Don’t have to pretend
No more of the struggle  

Through all the observed, absorbed and accepted
Through all the unsaid, hurtful, deceptive
With each soul that I met
And through every heartbreak
Was built my true self

And so peace descended into my soul
And so I learnt acceptance is above all
Tormented spirit was set to be free
I’m celebrating the birth of new me.

You want pure passion
Love that consumes you
On the verge of obsession
Making you lose it
When feelings take over
You can’t take it slower
Acting on impulse
No way to resist it

You want it be deep
Plain, not steep
Bond built on trust
Over years that passed
Calming and stable
But not being faded

Pick wrong and you lose
What do you choose?

People around me
Energy-drowning

I hear them talking
Small talk about nothing
I want to escape it
Control what I take in

I’m right in the crowd
Yet I’m all alone
My thoughts are too loud
I want to go home

Are these all wrong people?
Am I being wrong?
Take me somewhere peaceful
Leave me all alone.

My drug
Obsession and addiction

Can’t stop
I know you have some issues

You open up but then withdraw
So close beside but then you go

Can’t wait, I push, I want it all
But all I do is hit the wall

Too soon, too much, yet not enough
Now I can see- must have been tough

No hate, no tears, I’ll just go
I tried my best but hit the wall.

I want to be cold
I like feeling strong
I’m finally bold
Although it took long

But then you come and I change
You talk to my heart
This new feeling is strange
My walls fall apart

You know the untold
You touch the untouched
You make me unfold
Stop if it’s too much

Too free to be tamed
Reckless, but sane
Let us be close
Yet not overdose.