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 Jul 2013 Amanda
AJ
I Can't Help It
 Jul 2013 Amanda
AJ
I'm sorry you are jealous.
I'm sorry you are falling in love with me.
I'm sorry you want someone to fall in love with.
I'm sorry you feel unfulfilled.
I'm sorry you feel trapped.
I'm sorry you can't open up for extended periods of time without feeling annoying.
I'm sorry you make me feel annoying if I do.
I'm sorry if you feel you're a twenty-something wreck.
I'm sorry I'm a young, talented, heart breaker.
I'm sorry because I like you.
I'm sorry I'm not in love with you.
 Jul 2013 Amanda
AJ
If Only, If Only
 Jul 2013 Amanda
AJ
Everyone hopes that they are broken,
Because if you're broken
That means that there is a cure,
A treatment,
A medication,
A program that can fix you.
If you're broken,
Then someone can make it stop.
The real fear is that you're fine,
And it can't get better.
The real fear is that this is normal.
It really hurts this much to lose a friend,
To move,
To not get the job,
Or to get the job.
Just to feel so sad and scared and disorientated.
It is all completely normal,
And you can't fix it.
No one fears being broken,
You can make that stop.
It's the real ability to feel pain that you can't change,
And that is terrifying.
 Jul 2013 Amanda
AJ
Today I bought some cheap press powder
That makes my face smell like cinnamon and old people.
It was fifty percent off and I could not hold myself back.
I cashed another pay check today,
Money money money money.
Everyone is really annoying.
I liked it better when my worlds were separate.
They have all collided as of right now.
I just want everyone to unacquaint themselves,
And/or go **** themselves.
Because I cannot spare my feelings,
As well as all of yours
At the same time.
Tonight I went to Olive Garden,
I did not finish my mushroom ravioli.
Oh well.
Just another day in the life of a non-super hero.
 Jul 2013 Amanda
AJ
Why, you silly *****,
I felt so sorry for you
That my pity changed from utter exhaustion to borderline hatred.
Oh you miserable fool,
You drained me in more ways than one,
And you were never around when it wasn't Jack Daniels and a TV remote.
Yes, you wretched *******,
The only thing I learned from you was how to hit,
And passively dance around my problems like they are just pesky ants.
*******, you oblivious *******.
You caused the scars and the attempts.
You drove nothing but vile thoughts of self hatred into my brain.
I can't be afraid of someone who is that pathetic.
I feel so sorry for you,
You ignorant *******.
 Jul 2013 Amanda
AJ
My Bad
 Jul 2013 Amanda
AJ
Once there was a little girl,
With long curly hair,
And big blue eyes.
She sang before she could talk,
And ran before she could walk.
When she was young all she wanted to do was fly,
When she grew up all she did was cry,
And hope that when she grew up more,
She would die.
 Jul 2013 Amanda
AJ
Tragedy
 Jul 2013 Amanda
AJ
Sometimes I wonder if I like being tragic
And utterly and mysteriously broken.
I can't decide if I'm beautifully tragic,
Or tragically beautiful,
Or just a ******* selfish wreck.
If all the world and love were young,
And truth in every shepherd’s tongue,
These pretty pleasures might me move
To live with thee and be thy love.

Time drives the flocks from field to fold
When rivers rage and rocks grow cold,
And Philomel becometh dumb;
The rest complains of cares to come.

The flowers do fade, and wanton fields
To wayward winter reckoning yields;
A honey tongue, a heart of gall,
Is fancy’s spring, but sorrow’s fall.

The gowns, thy shoes, thy beds of roses,
Thy cap, thy kirtle, and thy posies
Soon break, soon wither, soon forgotten,—
In folly ripe, in reason rotten.

Thy belt of straw and ivy buds,
Thy coral clasps and amber studs,
All these in me no means can move
To come to thee and be thy love.

But could youth last and love still breed,
Had joys no date nor age no need,
Then these delights my mind might move
To live with thee and be thy love.
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