Carrying the aesthetics of the world
Blending the color pallets of meanings untold
Emotions buried under the surface of reality
Hues, melodious harmonies, background light forming the aesthetic energies of what we want the world to see, how we wish the world would see, how we wish the world would not see
Creating a scene, visualizing a sequence, sweetening the sounds of  the universe.
Art.

Is there enough life to give in This world?
I see it
Drowning in the hardships of
Picking up pennies to pay for a meal
And spending forty- five dollars on two days of making nothing fun.

I'm smoking a cigarette that I started earlier, that I thought I was finished with earlier.

My father drowns his sorrow in beer and blames his problems on yesterday.
My mother sings caskets and has a gift reciept for every time she's ever "loved"  me.

My life has consisted a lot of scraping by
And I'm Down to the last few layers of skin
Before the burning concrete creates a river of blood for Moses to walk through

Isn't it so simple?

What is, hasn't always been.
And what was has changed for a reason.

The reason
I still breath
I still laugh
I still love
I still write,
Is because you picked the grapes off the walls , growing around my heart
And before they turned to raisins,
You poured wine into my bloodstream..
Drunk off of your warm touch and dazzling smile,
I swallow the alphabet and hiccup compliments,
Keeping My eyes on yours
So as to not get lost in the treasure map hidden in your laughter.

My stomach flutters.

I grab your hand.

You squeeze mine tighter

My heart flickers.

I love you.

Being a ghost is not as hard as it seems.
The flame of my heartheartbeat quites down to a flicker
Before the door slams shut
And a plume of smoke dances its way to invisibility.

That's the moment I realized I haunted the hallways of my mind.
The floorboards shriek and shrill,
The air is thick and stagnant,
And the eyes on+ the paintings
Follow me like a cancer.

I see a window and look out.
I see myself as a child.
Playing.
Laughing.
Enjoying life.
It blows my mind that there was a time and place
Before the world shook the innocence from me like loose change.
Mother earth took her $1.57
Bought herself a coke
And said "*******, kid"
Before jumping in her firebird and peeling out.

I pinch myself to make sure I'm not dreaming
But all pain feels the same to me nowadays
So who knows if I'm awake or not.
But that doesn't matter
Because my voice hides in the shadows of my cave.
Hollow
Dark
Damp
And empty
Except for the beast that hides inside
With love in its eyes
Waiting for the light to show.

smiling in my pictures
but I'm vomiting glitter
and killing butterflies;
not fatally, just enough to bandage.
self-destruction is not exclusive;
physically, maybe, but skipping meals
and writing on your wrists
will make your mother cry a hundred tears
for every picture of you with bloodshot eyes.
I'm okay, mom, please don't worry,
but knowing how much cheap perfume it takes to cover the smell of cigarettes is not something I wish I knew.