Mixing
***
and
Alcohol
was
Possibly
the
Worst
Idea
Ever.

I scrape my forearms as if the hand you have clasped around my wrist is a lion’s jaw.

I don’t do well under social pressures
And I would love nothing more than to lend you my underwear and tell you about my dreams
But my modesty is a jealous ***** and will have none of that

So instead, I put my feet on your lap and touch behind my ears
Positioning them like satellites, prepared to receive any data you let into the atmosphere

I tell you about the boy I loved in high school, you tell me about the book you’re reading

I dress you up to be John Keats
With words of romance swimming through your veins
From your eyes to your hands
The prose you conjure make my eyelashes sweep against my upper cheek

With ***** in your blood and the night still young,
You have the ability to write me a novel crafted out of the moments that have crept through your fingers

I grasp at your memories as if they were butterflies,
Careful not to touch the wings, so that their beauty might be seen by someone else

I sit and watch as your face becomes a sitcom
With all the laughs and pains that a script can hold
I look for places where I might make notes in the margins, trying to make you more cohesive

I glue a penny to my forehead
Face up
In hopes that someone will take it from its place
Looking for the bit of luck it holds and instead grab my hand.

My stomach clenches in knots
Craving an understanding of the words you mumble into your coffee

My toes massage the soles of my shoes
Looking for a foot hold in the song I’m humming

But instead I breathe on my tea and dwell on the kiss we shared in the basement

I keep your name buried in my vocal chords.
Afraid that with one soft vibration
All my confessions will come spilling out.

Your eyes close like a sunset.

I built a moat inside of my rib cage
So when you say that you will love me come hell or high water,
I pray that you are serious.

You sprawl across the floor spreading your limbs as far as possible
Simply to make yourself feel important.

If I had a nickel for every time that I thought of you, I would be five cents richer.
For you are nothing but a single, continuous thought
that weaves its way throughout my hours.

I leave Scrabble pieces everywhere I go
Spelling out my confusion with a handful of consonants.

Stripping off clothing and anticipation,
We go streaking through the city streets.

I take off my shoes and feel the gravel dig into my heels

You glance down and my ******* peak your interest.

A girl with priorities, I take a vow of silence.
Inhale. Exhale.
Gasping. Breathing.

I choke on our misunderstandings

I swallow your name.

Now that I'm older
I only cry in the shower.

there was a tear in the ankle of his converses.
he tapped his foot to the tremors of the bus
he carried a coffee cup like his life ambitions
i stared at him over the top of my book,
reading the lines of his mouth
they captivate my attention like a novel never could.
arm draped over the back of the seat next to him,
he glances my way.
my gaze plummets to my lap
i sneak a peak his way.
he gives me a smile
i gleam like the sun.

Keep your fists in the air,
Like the line from my favorite Beastie Boys song, “You’ve gotta fight for your right”
Making sacrificial lambs of your youth
I wish the Dalai Lama would commend you
Young warriors
Keeping your heritage wrapped around the soles of your feet as you march in protest
Crying out for help,
I feel the torment of hypocrisy
I am disgusted,
How can we be so blind?
How can we put our want for economic stability over the extermination of an entire culture?
The Middle Way is no way to go
The 21st century equivalent to the Trail of Tears
The silent “members” of the Chinese society
Fight tooth and nail for the right to speak your language
It is beautiful.

and all these years later
i still have a tendency to wander
to spin
to dance

and you watch me.
you watch me drift from foot to foot just testing my own stability
(i'm a lot more stable than i used to be)

i'm finally used to me

we ****** on my best friend's futon
i had bits of gravel embedded in my palm

i'm always falling head over heels

bodies.
yours and mine
the fairy tales of anatomy books

you are the reason i stopped believing in love poems.

i dug my nails into your back,
just trying to find purchase in the world that i was drowning in.

Dear dog.
Stop licking my side,
I'm trying to sleep.

Mistakes rest on my collarbones
William Burroughs knocks on my chest and listens to the echoes

Catch my breath and weigh the possibilities

Navigating the side streets
we drink tequila from a tea *** while the bowl moves counterclockwise

Tuck my friendships back into pockets and carry them like loose change.
Take a penny, leave a penny
Just don't leave me lonely.

I lay in your front yard with my mouth wide open
I capture the songs of the day so we can share them in the moon light

You simply go through the motions
your mind full of figures,
while I think about thinking
                                               of thinking
                                                        ­          of thinking
                                                        ­                             a thought.

I fumble through life, my shoe laces tied together
You laugh into our kiss and call me useless

So please,
use less of me.