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Dec 2011 · 912
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Amanda Small Dec 2011
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Close your eyes and take a ride with me,
Lie flat on the back of a charging horse.

Get naked and weave yourself into the tall grass.

Take a walk around the block with only your daydreams for company.

Interlocking fingers with Mother Earth, let your mouth hang open.
Breathe in the night sky,

Fall in love with the winds of spring.

Touch knees with an old friend,
Palms with a stranger.

Blow on embers,
Gasp in flames.
Set fire to your thoughts and revel in the ashes;
Keep your mind in a constant conversion.

Move to the rhythm of earthquakes.
Let your Earth shake and take it all in stride.

With your arms limp
sway in the moon light
accept the things you don't know
and forget the things you wish you didn't

Be born of the earth again
Covered in dirt and pine needles
Find your long lost love of simplicity.
Dec 2011 · 592
lover boy on repeat (10W)
Amanda Small Dec 2011
I'm not asking much,
Just don't make me cry again.
Dec 2011 · 1.2k
showers.
Amanda Small Dec 2011
Rain bounces off my window,
sounding like the drumming of hundreds of fingers.

I have a problem accepting higher powers,
a doubt of all things that don’t resemble Peter Pan

I keep my mind in a perpetual daydream.

Pressing palms to my throat
My words give heat to my fingertips so that I might remember to write them down this time.

The city streets – the lined paper of my day
I wander all over town
Keeping my finger print in my eye socket
I put my special touch on the world

Punching in the numbers,
I discovered the lifespan of a fleeting thought
in less than a second.

My heart beating like the wings of a hummingbird
I tap on my forehead and try to stay coherent
                                
                       ­                                                                 ­                           Maybe I should drink tonight...
Dec 2011 · 798
college.
Amanda Small Dec 2011
the week of finals
my body forgets how to sleep
Dec 2011 · 1.4k
keep it in your pants.
Amanda Small Dec 2011
My virginity
a security blanket,
I keep at the foot of my bed.

It doesn’t shield me from loneliness,
It’s purely for show.

I imagine limbs tangled in that blanket.
Our breathes mingling to create dream clouds.

Legs combining like tree roots.
A tentative hand and trembling lips,
The tangible reality of my nerves.

Sooth me with my favorite line from Jane Austen,
Darling I just might love you.

Hips grind against hips

We’re two halves of a love poem.
You, the undying love
Me, the inevitable disappointment.
Dec 2011 · 2.2k
oh brother, where art thou?
Amanda Small Dec 2011
Tonight, let’s take God hostage
throw Him in the backseat
have Him show us around town

We're "those kids"
spending our afternoons learning how to do handstands on nail beds
The ones that foresee failure and live in the moment
Sit on street corners and barter for advice

Let's treat this world as an etch-a-sketch
For we are nothing more than flecks of aluminum looking for a physical reaction

More like soul mates than friends
If you fused us all together you might have one functioning addition to society

Making wishes at 11:11

Looking for beauty in air,
We breathe out to give inspiration to sonnets

Dreaming of switchblades and palm trees, we sit next to the fire
Our feet shoved in embers, burning off the memories of passing Decembers

We pass a flask of whiskey and daydreams
Keeping our mouths sealed tight around the top
Dec 2011 · 1.6k
To the People of Tibet.
Amanda Small Dec 2011
Keep your fists in the air,
Like the line from my favorite Beastie Boys song, “You’ve gotta fight for your right”
Making sacrificial lambs of your youth
I wish the Dalai Lama would commend you
Young warriors
Keeping your heritage wrapped around the soles of your feet as you march in protest
Crying out for help,
I feel the torment of hypocrisy
I am disgusted,
How can we be so blind?
How can we put our want for economic stability over the extermination of an entire culture?
The Middle Way is no way to go
The 21st century equivalent to the Trail of Tears
The silent “members” of the Chinese society
Fight tooth and nail for the right to speak your language
It is beautiful.
Amanda Small Dec 2011
Simply put
I would love if you loved me back
Amanda Small Dec 2011
******* on my teeth and clicking my heels
I drink Smirnoff out of a coffee mug
The one with “I love my Grandma” stamped across the front
It’s Tuesday night
and I want nothing more
than to feel all right
College is ****
My classmates, conservative ****** bags with too much to say
So **** the weekend, let’s party now
Get hammered and show up to class still buzzing
Let’s call up our ex’s and show them how dysfunctional we truly are
Get naked and finger paint
Maybe even watch Fight Club
Hell, I don’t care
I’m just trying to make sense
So what if the Earth revolves around the Sun
Tonight
I just want the world to revolve around us
A very rough draft. Any feedback would be much appreciated.
Dec 2011 · 1.1k
future boyfriend (10W)
Amanda Small Dec 2011
I want you to be
as ****** up as me
Amanda Small Dec 2011
I keep your name buried in my vocal chords.
Afraid that with one soft vibration
All my confessions will come spilling out.

Your eyes close like a sunset.

I built a moat inside of my rib cage
So when you say that you will love me come hell or high water,
I pray that you are serious.

You sprawl across the floor spreading your limbs as far as possible
Simply to make yourself feel important.

If I had a nickel for every time that I thought of you, I would be five cents richer.
For you are nothing but a single, continuous thought
that weaves its way throughout my hours.

I leave Scrabble pieces everywhere I go
Spelling out my confusion with a handful of consonants.

Stripping off clothing and anticipation,
We go streaking through the city streets.

I take off my shoes and feel the gravel dig into my heels

You glance down and my ******* peak your interest.

A girl with priorities, I take a vow of silence.
Inhale. Exhale.
Gasping. Breathing.

I choke on our misunderstandings

I swallow your name.
Dec 2011 · 857
Untitled.
Amanda Small Dec 2011
A nuclear bomb has gone off in my bedroom

Scorching my skin and burning the pages of my diary

My hinges have been loosened and I fall wide open

My face and thoughts are lost

I always held the right combination on narcissism,
skepticism,
and optimism.

Painting my best days in grey and teal

My ears are still ringing, not that it matters,
I was tone deaf to begin with

I punch holes in walls to widen my perspective

I bandage my chest in drawings from your sketchbook
Birds,                                              ­                                                                 ­                               
girls,                                                        ­                                                                 ­   
trees,                                                         ­                                                 
and poetry                                                         ­                       
lend themselves as temporary skin.

Fending off the cold and ash

*“Where the hell am I?”
Dec 2011 · 1.8k
beer pong and vodka
Amanda Small Dec 2011
A modern day Henry VIII
You royally ******* me over.
We get ****** up and my head starts spinning

You giggle out an apology...
                                                      ­                                                                  *******.

I k-k-k-keep re-reading the line above your eyebrow
Stupid, stupid boy.
I gag on the taste of your breathing,
Your face so close our eyelashes interlock.

Strumming your fingers on my rib cage,
you crack my chest wide open.

****, ribs, and heartbeats.
You embed yourself between my lungs
Pressing palms into my spinal chord.

You fill me until I threaten to fall apart, only to gingerly remove yourself.

                                                      ­                         *I think I'm growing up
Dec 2011 · 1.3k
Sisterly Advice
Amanda Small Dec 2011
To the girl with curls much longer than my own,

When approached by a boy, flip him off and spit in his face
Tell him you're a rebel,
a punk,
a lover.

Tell him that love is for suckers and
guys are only good for *******.
And even then it's a hit or miss.

Explain to him how you have violent urges to break things
Go into detail about why your parents didn't stay together
Get drunk and make out with his best friend

Respond to his texts with one syllable
Talk about how you're ready for commitment
(in the long term sense)

Insult his music,
his books,
his friends
and most importantly his morals.
If he doesn't fall in love with you, there must be something wrong...

After all, it worked on me
Dec 2011 · 2.2k
fucked up.
Amanda Small Dec 2011
Never a fan of holding hands
I keep my fingers sewn into pockets.
As leaves turn to snow,
my toes find themselves wrapped in wool

Ever the silent observer,
I watch your lips lock with the lip of a coffee mug
I hang a dream catcher from my ear
hoping to catch all of your nightmares,
so that they may stay forever silent.

I keep your heart in my sketchbook
My fingers press into temples,
You let out a breathe you didn't know you were holding.
On my tongue, your name.

You speak in hieroglyphs,
the dead language of pharaohs.
Your love shaped like owls

****, how I want to fly.
Let my eyes skim over the pages of novels
As you store jokes in your dimples.

****.

I never want it to snow.
Nov 2011 · 959
You, Summer.
Amanda Small Nov 2011
With all the strength that my eyelashes can muster I look you in the eye

Your eyes the pigment of Christmas morning

You hold all the mysteries that Nancy Drew couldn’t solve

You make my heart dance the foxtrot

I keep my tempo even with your breathing

Your teeth gleam like piano keys, and it’s times like these that I wish I had pleaded for a lesson

I braid my fingers into your hip and let you lead me across the field

With sand in your hair and sun in your eyes

You make me believe in God

With all the traits of my mother, you cradle my face

I stash my secrets behind your ears when I think that you are sleeping

In a cloud of smoke, poems and handshakes I try to paint you in pastels

You tug at the end of my curls to see if I am flexible

On your inner wrist, I trace the maps of my ancestors

The freckles on your back a constellation

You touch my knee like a rubbing stone

Gently

Gently

Your tongue tastes of Chai tea and heartache

I keep your face trapped behind my eyelids, your teeth embedded in my lip

You shout tongue twisters from the bedroom, embodying all of my childhood wonder

I cling to your loose ends, wanting nothing more than to wrap myself within them

I am simply looking for closure
Amanda Small Nov 2011
Our bodies connect like lincoln logs
Lips, palms, and legs fitting into the notches I carved for you

Never able to form words fast enough, I sip on cider and dream of flying

If I were able to, I would only inhale
Taking in all the things the world has to offer

You are Peter Pan
You keep my feet from staying planted on the ground
And when I want nothing more than to sleep, you take me swimming with mermaids

We sit cautiously on the ledge of euphoria
As if one wrong step and our hearts will drop to the pit of our stomach
Being digested by our fear of heart break and rejection

I paint your face on my palm
With your eyes heavy lidded and your mouth slightly open
You are the epitome of down trodden
Bob Dylan is your Jesus
Jack Kerouac your Salvation

You drum my heartbeat on the windowsill, as we contemplate the color yellow
You brush your thumb across my ankle, drape your arm over my insecurities
You carry love in your finger print, trust in your eyelashes

As dawn approaches, I find myself wrapped in the arms of a lost boy.
Nov 2011 · 1.2k
The Love of John Keats
Amanda Small Nov 2011
I scrape my forearms as if the hand you have clasped around my wrist is a lion’s jaw.

I don’t do well under social pressures
And I would love nothing more than to lend you my underwear and tell you about my dreams
But my modesty is a jealous ***** and will have none of that

So instead, I put my feet on your lap and touch behind my ears
Positioning them like satellites, prepared to receive any data you let into the atmosphere

I tell you about the boy I loved in high school, you tell me about the book you’re reading

I dress you up to be John Keats
With words of romance swimming through your veins
From your eyes to your hands
The prose you conjure make my eyelashes sweep against my upper cheek

With ***** in your blood and the night still young,
You have the ability to write me a novel crafted out of the moments that have crept through your fingers

I grasp at your memories as if they were butterflies,
Careful not to touch the wings, so that their beauty might be seen by someone else

I sit and watch as your face becomes a sitcom
With all the laughs and pains that a script can hold
I look for places where I might make notes in the margins, trying to make you more cohesive

I glue a penny to my forehead
Face up
In hopes that someone will take it from its place
Looking for the bit of luck it holds and instead grab my hand.

My stomach clenches in knots
Craving an understanding of the words you mumble into your coffee

My toes massage the soles of my shoes
Looking for a foot hold in the song I’m humming

But instead I breathe on my tea and dwell on the kiss we shared in the basement

— The End —