Ashen Rose Darkly Written is my alias for my blog Gothic Realms. I also used it online on Goth communities.

I was watching YouTube videos about gold digging and I came up with this poem. I also thought about how people are greedy and some give false hope to make money.

This is inspired by my ex narcissistic boyfriend.

For our future children who forget about Twitter. Elon Musk is a billionaire dummy, who claimed to be a genius but couldn't show it. He killed a popular social media platform called Twitter within a few months after he illegally abstained the website. His narcissistic personality kicked in and he dominated the platform losing control over it's algorithm and he fired all of the staff. He can't program nor run anything so it failed bitterly and hard very quickly. He's all bank no genius. Everyone sees the true fraud he is. Elon Musk is a stinky skunk that ate Twitter. I doubt he enjoyed every bite he took as he slowly devoured it's bones and feathers. He probably coughed up the pieces he couldn't disgust like an owl.

I started counseling. I went to my second appointment today. I am going weekly on Wednesday at 9 am. I am finally building my own bridges so I can stand by myself. I have discovered I never had a self. I have body dysphoria and it's holding me back. I need to build myself to deal with the abuse I suffered. My ex did a lot of damage and I already was damaged. I worked hard to build a platform for myself and he tore it down in two years and I didn't have a chance to build it back because I was trapped for seven years in his abusive tactics. He neglected me when I needed him, he expected me to sacrifice everything for him and he did nothing but complain about everything blaming me for his discomfort. He caused me paranoia and anxiety because he broke my self esteem and security. He stole and lied to me. He gaslighted everything I did and tried to mock me and steal my work for himself. The dude made a blog similar to my own and got upset when he didn't get the same attention I get. When I worked hard to build my community, it took years for me to get my blog where it's at. He can't achieve the same thing in one post. He can't even write good poetry. His makes no sense. He needs to work hard to learn how to write poetry. I have been writing since I was seven years old, before I could write my mom wrote for me and I told her what to write. I am autistic too so I started out slowly. Building my blogs helped me improve my writing skills because I wanted to learn and get critical help from my readers. You guys are my muse and support. He doesn't want to work so he failed. He also made it harder for me to grieve for my mom after she passed. He wasn't supportive instead he was attacking me and accusing me of cheating when he was the one cheating. He bugged my apartment to collect evidence I was cheating. He got very mean when he couldn't get the evidence he wanted. My mom had to help me protect myself after he broke into my apartment and stole food and used my stuff in 2014. He never apologized or took responsibility for his crimes. Our community doesn't care about me either, they didn't punish him after he was reported and caught. They literally paid for the damages and he is free to cause more damage. He also murdered his cat while he tore apart his apartment and ended up in the hospital for mental health. He ended up breaking out of the hospital and walked home ****** and mentally unstable. I reported him but nothing was done. He brought dug dealers and prostitutes into his apartment. Pretended to not know they were criminal's yet he brought them in to make deals and feed his own addiction. I am forced to deal with the mental health issues he caused. Our justice system is broken, there's no protection or justice. I am proof. It needs to change. The lack of justice is damaging lives.

This is inspired by the republicans lie’s and abuse. Donald Trump is the wolf in sheep’s skin.

For my ex narcissist. Au revoir, As$hole!

I had a lucid dream last night. I dreamt I was a star and I dropped upon the earth scattered into millions of pieces and from my shattered pieces I soaked into the dirt and from my tears of sorrow I birthed a black rose. This is a poem that was inspired by my lucid dream.

My cat Ginger Beans is my emotional support animal. He's part of my life and I was inspired to write this for him. He's my special little furry man. Meowza thanks for stopping by.

Writing is the best way for me to deal with my depression and anxiety. It helps me to express my suffering in a safe environment and to release it so it doesn't grow. These are my roots my plotted moods and tree of shade. Here I hydrate and leave my depression and anxiety so I can live in peace. Please if you are suffering don't be silent. Get help! The internet has great resources. Also, I have the link for the crisis hotline. Talk to someone now! https://988lifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now/. Phone number is 1-888-628-9454 you can also text the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by texting 988. It is the crisis hotline in the USA. There are recourses for all types of people with disabilities and no disabilities available on the website too. It's free. I have used it before. It's the reason I got help. They directed me and I followed. You are not alone. I love you guys so very much. 😘

I was inspired by resent events surrounding Donald Trump. I have to make fun of it or get depressed.

This is for all the lonely nights I stayed up late paranoid and anxious thinking he was going to come and attack me again. I have to be strong and brave. I have to remember I am safe because he's gone, I got away from my abuser. I am a survivor not a victim. I already was the victim.

This is inspired by my narcissistic ex boyfriend. He's a deviant monster.

This is inspired by the current Donald Trump situation. May he rot in hell alongside his rotten pumpkin pie supporters. Who likes rotten pumpkin pie? Not me!

This is inspired by vampire movies and books I've read and watched.

This is part of a series of poems called Into The Vail. I am going to be working on more poems to add to the collection. I am having a burst of inspiration. I am going to let it fly and bring my dream like world to life for others to visit. My personal experiences with poetry and lucid dreams inspire me to write.

This is inspired by a lucid dream I recently had.

This was inspired by the pizza I ate for lunch today.

To my ex narcissist. Oh the pain you are, you stabbed my heart. Behind your devilish grin lives a monster.