If I had only...

I was able to forget the abuse,
and grew in the light
instead of the darkness
I was forced into,
and ran away from the monsters
before they hurt me,
and ignored the negative views
from others,
and spoke when I needed to be heard.

But it's not too late to live my life...

So here I am speaking my truth
so I can grow past the abuse.

I am like a struggling worm trying
to break free from the dirt
I was force fed.

©️ 2024 By Amanda Shelton

I can be multiple things
to save me,
I can be the fly on the wall,
I can be my shadow,
I can be a 360 degree view
of my reality.

Abuse built me, my youth
died before it had time to
breathe and I broke free.

Alice walked through the
looking glass and I, I broke
through the mirror shattering
into millions of possibilities
and became the shard's of glass.

I became a poem, line by line
I've laid down my life,
a sacrifice for the digital age.

I become the fly when
I saw you and you flew
into my imagination
and grew into a beautiful
creation.

I am a fly on the wall with
a unique view of you.

©️ 2024 By Amanda Shelton

You came on a cloudy day,
blue eyes on the horizon
gaze.

The sky darkened with your
presence, peace shivers in your
wake, heaven cried the day
you arrived.

The light you devoured became
a warning to others.

Deeply black, covered in flies
you thought they would hide
your lying eyes.

Your ignorance is deep, your
heart is too but emptiness is
a void you can't fell with
promises unfulfilled.

You always leave behind ruins
of your crimes.

A heart is left bleeding, eyes
swollen from sorrowful tears
that drowned the love you
promised.

Like a zombie you returned
many times, before I decided
to run and hide, I built my walls
higher this time.

Shadows have wicked ways
to rise and ruin lives.

©️ 2024 By Amanda D Shelton

The sun is rising and my mind is hiding, bring the cold inside and calm the flames before they consume me.

Blistered skin, swollen rashes,
sunburn stings like a thousand lashes.

The possibilities of me turning into ashes, is upon the breath of morning.

©️ 2024 By Amanda Shelton

The chains that bound us
rusted and crumbled at my feet.

While you distracted me
I turned and you
stabbed me in the back,
I turned to face you
and you stabbed me again
in the heart.

While I laid at your feet
bleeding, you walked over me.

The last memory I have of you,
is your ****** footprints leading
away from the crime scene.

©️ 2024 Amanda Shelton

One breath, one minute,
one smile, led to many
moments of heartache.

Breathe they say,
yet life's choking me.

Wait they say,
yet life's running and
I have only one chance
to catch up.

Be happy they say,
yet depression doesn't ask
for an invitation.

I was told whatever I do
will come back to me ten fold.

Yet it seems what everyone else
does is folding in on me because
I breathed, I waited, and
I smiled.

©️ 2024 By Amanda Shelton

While sticks and stones
may break my bones,
words will never hurt me.

Okay, I will take your
sticks and stones
and give you the
crushed bones.

My words are all I've got,
so I will write you this poem
and bury the bones in the plot.

There's no skeletons in my closet,
I used the sticks and
stones to build a home and
left the war awhile ago.

Words are like swords,
they cut like knifes and
deeper with each line,
they leave invisible wounds
so no one is aware of your
suffering until you reveal
the scars.

The bully lied every time,
the teacher told you to
get in line, your self esteem
told you your not worth
the time.

Now tell me how words
will never hurt me, when
I am crying while writing.

Memories of past regrets roll
upon the surface of my life,
in the most unexpected time.

Words are all I've got
and memories of accusations
from loves broken ideas
and words of affection that
turned into scars from a
narcissists infection.

Love brought me words
sharpened like knifes,
it still hurts me and
its been a long time.

Scar's hurt all the time.

©️ 2024 By Amanda Shelton