Inside my mind lives memories
of pain and suffering.

PTSD kidnapped me.
After it caught me
it collected
my blood and tears,
drank my pain
and spit it out,
made me watch
as it danced around
laughing in my face
like some sadistic clown.

It caged my self esteem,
pushed me around
until I fell,
it punched me
when I was down.

It beat me up,
pulled me up by its strings,
it shoved me in a box
flooding it with
my tears and blood
drowning me in its mud.

PTSD is like a ghost
it haunts
my dreams
and reality.

But I have grown
braver and stronger
so trauma
can't beat me anymore.

I built a foundation
that's stable and capable
of protecting me
from the past.

Trauma is a ghost
from my past,
it will always
haunt me.

My scars are visible
but a testament to my
struggles and survival.

©️ 2023 By Amanda Shelton

You are worth it.

There are struggles,
we all need to learn
to accept ourselves and
to let go of our past
aggressions.

To forgive yourself is
the biggest lesson.

It leads to love and acceptance
of self.

In love you will find
peace and comfort and
within that peace you will find time and within that time
is recovery.

It takes one step at a time.

©️ 2023 By Amanda Shelton

I,
I am me.

I, I am
a shadow
sitting in the dark
soaking up the light.

I, I am
a hollow full of tears
from past struggles.

I, I am
a scar
painful and lingering
I am irritated at times
but still healing.

I, I am
a broken heart
bruised but not beaten
by my broken love affairs.

I, I am
hollow once in awhile
as depression fells my
emptiness with its blackness.

I, I am
a muscle
I am stronger
than I believe I am,
until I decide to left
my own weight.

I, I am
a dream within a dream
dreaming of being awake.

I, I am
possibilities for I am
capable of change and growth.

I, I am
beyond the static of thought,
I am beyond your
dreams and wishes
for I am a fading star.

I, I am
human,
I am the breath of
creativity and emotions
for I am intelligent.

I, I am
love for I was born
with an infinite
heart space.

I, I am
autism for I was born
uniquely autistically me.

©️ 2023 By Amanda Shelton

I know a fool,
he's my ex narcissist
who pretended to be
my boyfriend for seven years.

A fool is to be a rambling jester,
jumping around making jokes
for entertainment.

You can't speak with a fool
for they are always playing
the part of the jester.

You are but the fools victim.

They are capable of driving
the smartest people into
madness to steal everything
they worked for and blame
them for the crimes.

A fool is a narcissist in disguise.

©️ 2023 By Amanda Shelton