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Amanda Shelton Apr 2021
Burning memories,
with my heart.

Together we made
a love story.

Each turning page is
a mile in our lives.

The breeze pushes the
waves, pushing me closer
to the edge of my dreams.

I can barely see
the future but it’s
still there in its
frame. A bit blurred
and so far away.

I still remember your
gentle touch, your soft
kisses and hugs.

You are engraved in my
memory like perfumed
roses slowly dieing after
bring picked for viewing
pleasure.

These diluted dreams are
stitched upon my skin,
forever a stain, your memory
is sawn within my life,
and scratched within my book.

©️ 2021 By Amanda Shelton
Amanda Shelton Apr 2021
Boom boom bang*!
My lows are lowering,
my highs go thigh high
lower now. My ankles hurt
from the pressure.

I’ve got the need to sing
the blues, no lyrics, no rain,
just blues and sad clouds darkening.

The rain is falling now,
I’ve got the bucket out.

The mountains are building
higher too, I’ve got to work
My wings so I can fly.

My heart is beating loud,
my arteries are ready to
pop and bleed out.

Emotions rear, silently screaming,
burning from the inside out,
the storm is drowning happiness
but the steam is rising.

Happiness takes a break for now,
I’ll remember you I promised myself.

I left my candle on the window ceil,
where my poetry rests and awaits my
return.

Here I am in a slow burn,
the currents smoke and
rises in ashes,
as my wick flares and sparks
with doom blooming, as clouds
of smoke chokes me,
I am still breathing this
diluted air with little or
no confidence.

But I know I’m stronger,
I’m faster, I’m smarter than
before.

I am a natural born fighter,
my momma taught me well.

Never let the devil win,
I’ve got the cards, I’m
the string’s and I can sing.

Be brave, be proud, be loud,
stay strong and firm, like
a rock on the ocean floor.

I’m stronger now,
stronger than before.

I’m like a mountain, my
peek’s are sharp and rises
above the clouds.

©️ 2021 By Amanda Shelton
Amanda Shelton Apr 2021
This was a lucid dream I had.
Part three of my lucid dream series.
-----------
The sun devours me,
like a dragon its blaze
burns me.

Blood is life but a
curse, my soul is lost
to its flood.

Ashes are my fate the
end is hot and sweat.

Death forgot about me
long ago, left me drowning
in darkness.

Such things exist in nightmares,
our worst ideas come from the
depths of darkness creating
monster’s from fanged teeth.

We bite and drink from the fable’s
we’ve shared, like vampires lurking
in the shadows of our minds.

To be a monster is to be alive
but dead at the same time.

The grave was dug centuries
before our time.

The shadows have a heartbeat,
anxiety shines, tells you to
run, tells you to hide.

But nothing can stop death,
she’s a beautiful theft with
beautiful eyes. She sees you
in your sleep, she knows when
you are scared, she knows when
it is your time. Her kiss is the
last you will crave, desire wins
everytime.

The Vampires curse is a fabled
truth, its a monster living behind
your own eyes.

A story, a myth passed on
through the years.

©️ 2021 By Amanda Shelton
This is the third vampire poem part of my lucid dream series. I had a lucid dream where I was forced to follow a vampire. I sleep walked. I tried waking myself up by touching a wall but it failed. I knew I was dreaming and sleep walking. I was forced to endure the dream until I heard a scream and a loud boom. I do suffer from a rare condition called exploding head syndrome. Stress causes it. It causes me to hear a loud boom or bang, sometimes screaming or yelling. It ****'s me awake every time it happens. I had the dream the day after Christmas. I was very sick and went to the hospital on Christmas morning. It stressed me out.
Amanda Shelton Apr 2021
Ti’s a dream of mine,
to fly above the mountains and sea.

To be free from the cage
I was born in.

My autistic mind is that like
a tree, it grew into the plot
I’ve dug; my roots are deep and strong.

I have fought infections
and disease.

I have suffered on my hands
and knees.

I sacrificed myself for
illness and family.

What has autism done for me?

It taught me how to be smart.

How to communicate and collaborate.

It taught me the importance of community and guidance.

It taught me how to love
unconditionally, without
judgement, honestly and
openly.

I am a unicorn amounts horses and ponies.

My brain is textured and viscous, it pushes me to the edge of reality. Forces me to
face my fears.

Anxiety and depression are my roommates but never
do I invite them.

To be me, is like being Alice
peeking through the looking glass.

Come have tea with me.

I’m the best hostess because
I always over achieve.

Niceness is like the sweetest candy, I am such a sweet ****.

I’m honest to a default.

Autism and me.

©️ 2021 By Amanda Shelton
Amanda Shelton Mar 2021
Yawn! stretch and paw.

Oh, how I knead you,
purring to heal you.

My pink nose and whiskers
tickling your toes,
I knead you like dough
paw and purs I know.

I love you so.

I’m always the
cutest trend.

The internet loses
its sanity, sharing
my face as I wink
and shake.

Like a chubby loaf of bread,
I’m perched on your head
on your keyboard and bed.

You have no privacy,
for I am always kneading
you cuddling and puring.

I’m running ahead,
chasing shadows and
a piece of thread.

I know when you are
sad and sick, I pat
you and do cute tricks.

I share food and love
as though we are equal.

My love is unconditional.

Sometimes I seek attention
I tease by breaking things.

Meow, at the screen,
cat’s rule this scene.

I knead you, meow!
purrty please adopt, me.

©️ 2021 By Amanda Shelton
Don’t shop, adopt. I adopted my cat Boo and she’s my purrfect match.
Amanda Shelton Mar 2021
I sacrificed my life
for peace and stable mind.

I kneel every night,
bow my head and take
my plight placing it
before the Lord’s feet.

It’s no longer mine,
I lift myself up to
the Lord’s divine plan;
I promised him I will
follow the roads he
built for me.

I’ve met my shadow
many times, within
my meditation we take
flight.

A quiet place to reflect,
a mountain of possibilities
I climb and move by building
a strong foundation.

I am a tool, an influence
upon the environment.

I discovered myself years ago,
I once was lost; chained by
illness and grief, but faith
broke the chains and released
my soul.

I no longer grieve
I accept my condition,
by doing so I have already
won the fight.

I use to argue with myself,
I fought self-esteem,
I hated my differences
and being unique.

I had to face my shadow
before the walk, for the
deeper parts of who I am
was lost.

Depression and anxiety
ruled my life, until
I took control
I became its friend.

I am my own advocate,
for I am a unique soul,
one in five million I
stand tall.

Be proud to be you,
we all are beautiful
and rare.

I am a unicorn, autistic
and fair.

I love you and
everyone too.

I understand without you
I wouldn’t be here.

Life is never about me,
its about everything else
around me.

We are the designers of
life, we move mountains
and oceans.

We are the title waves
upon the great tragity
of life.

Live well, be bold
and brave, for life
is too short to always
be afraid.

©️ 2021 By Amanda Shelton
Amanda Shelton Mar 2021
I ponder, what it is like
to be my shadow.

To be shadow,
Its lonely, avoid of color,
no cold, no heat, dark, and
empty.

Even though I am always
beside you, I am ignored
by most.

The dark devours me,
the light gave birth to me.

I am your companion,
never invited but welcomed.

I have written many a poem,
alongside your lamps and
daytime wonderings,
I am your inspiration.

A muse.

We are one, never departed
but separated by darkness,
and the light brings us together.

Every step you make, I follow.
Every move you make, I follow.
Without your breath I can not
breathe for you are my breath.

I am Shadow.

©️ 2021 By Amanda Shelton
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