Velvet green
Velvet blue
Soft
First kiss
Fear

Socks off
Passion

Pillow top
Blankets
Slow
Faster

Shower water
Falling over my lashes
You
Between blinks
Between thighs

Floor pillows
Tapestries
You
Pushed against me
Hands caressing my chest
Lay me down

Velvet green
Velvet blue
Things end
With you

Time

Time

Time

Passes

We touch.
I push
You pull.
I pull
You push.

Time

Time

Time

Again

You pull me close
I give in.

I used to have such love for you,
Such compassion.

Resent fills the cracks in my heart
That you left.

I need to forgive
For you
For me
The tarots told me so

But I don’t know how to
Not yet
Not now.

Am I crazy

For falling so fast

Am I crazy

for not being able to let you go?

Am I just crazy

for sacrificing myself for you

Am I crazy

That I miss you still

I smile now, when I think of the memories,
But not always.

But I don't cry anymore,
Well not always.

I try not to text you,
Ehh not always.

I know talking will make it worse,
But will it? Not always.

I get angry at you,
But not always.

I miss you and I love you...
Always.

Did you ever even love me?

I question this now.

Was I there so you weren't alone?
To hype you up?
Fill your void?
Fulfil your needs?

Then you left.

You say you still like me.

But did you ever love me?
Did you ever feel the way I felt?
Lose your breath when you saw me?
Feel the connection when we touched?
Feel like you've never felt before with anyone?
I did.

I'll never know how you truly felt.

But I question if you ever loved me.

He gave me dead flowers
So I can smell them every day
The rotten petals falling
The color of decay

The washed out sunflower
The dehydrated leaves
The mold on the water
The color of debris

The richly red rose
Now drooping to the floor
The color of love
Existed no more

But still I saved the flowers
And smelled them every day
And watered them with tears
To let them grow again.

I can't believe it's been almost 3 weeks since we broke up.

Why am I not ok yet?

Why are you fine?

Do you care?

Did you ever love me?

Or was I just here to make you feel better?

My heart aches.

I miss my friend.

I miss your touch.

I miss kissing you.

I miss knowing you.

Idk who you are anymore.

You feel so far away.

Why do I care?

Why does it matter?

It doesn't.

You'll be gone even farther soon.

I'm not important to you and don't know if I ever was.

I'll be here.

Hoping someone will love me the way I want. Wishing it could've been you.