I am too needy for you
Too much.

But actually I am much more
More than you even knew.

I muted myself down
Held back for you.

Well now it’s about me.
It’s my time. Sorry boo.  

I don’t want to wish you loved me,
Or to even just respect me, do you?

It’s sad you’re so selfish and I hope you get better and but I’m not gonna sit around and wait for the later.

I deserve honesty, love, and lust.

I deserve flowers, a family and trust.

I deserve me to feel whole and true with not just anyone but especially not you.

I found out you were with someone else.

Did you do the same things with her you did with me?

Did you tell her things you told me?

Did she fill the love you don’t have for yourself?

Did she help you forget me?

Velvet green
Velvet blue
Soft
First kiss
Fear

Socks off
Passion

Pillow top
Blankets
Slow
Faster

Shower water
Falling over my lashes
You
Between blinks
Between thighs

Floor pillows
Tapestries
You
Pushed against me
Hands caressing my chest
Lay me down

Velvet green
Velvet blue
Things end
With you

Time

Time

Time

Passes

We touch.
I push
You pull.
I pull
You push.

Time

Time

Time

Again

You pull me close
I give in.

I used to have such love for you,
Such compassion.

Resent fills the cracks in my heart
That you left.

I need to forgive
For you
For me
The tarots told me so

But I don’t know how to
Not yet
Not now.

Am I crazy

For falling so fast

Am I crazy

for not being able to let you go?

Am I just crazy

for sacrificing myself for you

Am I crazy

That I miss you still

I smile now, when I think of the memories,
But not always.

But I don't cry anymore,
Well not always.

I try not to text you,
Ehh not always.

I know talking will make it worse,
But will it? Not always.

I get angry at you,
But not always.

I miss you and I love you...
Always.

Did you ever even love me?

I question this now.

Was I there so you weren't alone?
To hype you up?
Fill your void?
Fulfil your needs?

Then you left.

You say you still like me.

But did you ever love me?
Did you ever feel the way I felt?
Lose your breath when you saw me?
Feel the connection when we touched?
Feel like you've never felt before with anyone?
I did.

I'll never know how you truly felt.

But I question if you ever loved me.