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Amanda fancy Jun 2020
What happens when you don't succeed
and you still feel like your dreaming, just watching yourself bleed
Emotions, sleep, my stomach..nothing I can feed.

Why did you save me God?
I thought it was part of your plan
Left in auto pilot, numb not wanting to move knowing I CAN.

There is noise, but to me it'sjust silence...
Changed by the universe
She became silent.

I know my purpose and its for my son
my angel from above; my everlasting son. HE is my rising sun.

HE IS te light at the end of my tunnel.
You gave them the power babyboy to not bury myself deeper with that invisible shovel.
Amanda fancy May 2020
I've crossed the other end of the broken bridge...
successfully, carelessly
hanging off the highest ridge.

When you die inside, so does your stride,your pride..makes you forget the things that used to make you happy inside, you become blind.
            
Looking through my eyes you would wish you were blind, the world is ugly, unkind, obliged by the pain inside.

....but still I tried.. I didn't die.
It wasn't my time.

Love is the least of my worries,
My feelings, they're burried, never again to be hurried.

Bury me alive
It already feels that way inside
I'm a dreamer who never sleeps,
It's an understood new way of life.
The way I...
Died.

                      -A
Amanda fancy May 2020
Ink bleeds from my fingers
like trigger fingers
Ill spell my sins in your favor.....
Before my brain's thoughts even hit the fkn paper.
Amanda fancy Oct 2014
What if I told u ima jump on a plane tomm ....
Would you believe me and just know it's because I wanna take away all your sorrow...

I wish I could show you how I could love..
But Instead here we are yearning wanting to just jump out of a plane together from above...

Let's run and never look back...
I'll believe you , just don't make me run back
Amanda fancy Jun 2014
When I grow silent is when you should worry

My mind is everywhere, so much so,that everything is blurry

YOUR WORLD IS STILL INTWINED IN MINE...
even if I wanted to forget....
Not even my mind can I find...

I know there will be better days to distract the emptiness , I dont expect anyone to clean this mess.
My heart will mend and my walls will be strong
To the top I go and feelings be gone.
Amanda fancy May 2014
I can feel my barracades starting to collapse...

wish an angel would come sweep me off my feet n swipe my brain clean of this before I relapse...
♢♢♢♢♢♢♢♢♢♢♢♢♢♢♢♢♢♢♢♢♢
Confused, hurt, and overwhelmed doesnt seem like a good combination

Tired of keepin it in and just changing the ******* station....
□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□□
Have never felt this A L O N E ever.
can someone save me? Will they? ...
N E V E R.
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
**** that I don't want to be saved;; leave me be...heres a letter to my future self..one day it'll be alright just gimme time to find the key
○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○○
I just wanna block everyone out..
Feel like im on the outside looking in..just cant break out;;

Lemme take a min while I crowd myself with these purple clouds.
Amanda fancy Apr 2014
Jaded; spaded ;minds been recreated

Wishin we were back at square one;
Instead I've  resulted to just gettin faded...

This beens done before;; I'm quite familiar with the feeling;;

You promise me your there..Now why does it feel like my hearts breaking instead of healing;;

Your what I fell in love with;;

But This pretty picture that was painted has turned into nothing but a myth..

This boat can't take any more water..
My
Socks are *******
blue....

It's starting to seem you were too good to be fkn true</3
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