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 Jan 2013 Amanda Bianchi
Montana
I'll *******,
If you want.
Cause I want it
Just as bad as you do.
But I also want to hear the rustle of the sheets
When you turn over in the middle of the night.
I want to feel your hot breath on my neck.
I want the stubble on your chin to graze my cheek
As you kiss me gently on the forehead.
And when I whisper "goodnight," you don't have to reply.
Just nudge me with your knee
Or poke me with your elbow.
8/13/12
I measured the space in between

My room smells like ***, and distant memories

The floorboards feel like quicksand

There’s a strange smell in the air

Is it me?







Or the guilt?
To fly as
paper birds
soft breeze to carry me
Wings rise, kiss the clouds
a kite, a dream
above the
Sea*
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 Sep 2012 Amanda Bianchi
1487
I dont want my temporary happiness hanging from you, tugging at your lips
Felt beneath my hips, as I lie still under your kiss

Cause my happiness is like a vine
That no good ****, clinging on to bricks, splint with twine
Pretty in it's own way but poison when you touch

Pieces of it living in the crevices and cracks
Determined to come back, always to come back, to try just one more time.

I'm afraid my happiness will entangle you,
And dare I fall, will strangle you
Leaving you helpless as I drop

See, this feeling it is temporary,
Sadness blooms inside of me
No matter how many chemicals or pills I pop
Like an axe to the vine, gone with one chop, one feathered tick of the clock

Never meant to grow again, but nonetheless,
will never stop.
Where are the boys?
You and me can stay up all night.
Talking until our ears bleed.
I don’t know where to find them.

Should we try going to bed?
You and me can lie side by side.
Forcing myself to try and sleep.
The rattle in your chest keeps me up.

Can you tell me how to be?
You and me is all I want forever.
Trying not to make me cry.
We can be friends forever.

We could be great, don’t you think?
You and me could make history.
Walking together for life.
I think we could be good friends.

Who do you keep messaging?
You and me are having a good time.
Becoming the best of friends.
It is that friend of yours.

Should I leave your room?
You and me need to part ways.
Leaving your company feels wrong.
I think that would be best.
Three of the sweetest.

Too euphoric to remove once your tongue has already latched itself around them
I crave those words
And dream them
They swim around in my head side by side with us
Wherever we go they blow circles around us
Like the coolest breeze on the hottest day...

Wherever my mind takes us those words are in every step, and in every breath you breathe down my neck
And into my ear
Say those words to me

I could sit listening to you for days
Dear Mr. Heaney
I wish I'd read your poetry
years ago when I was still impressionable and coy and all that jazz.
Now it resounds in my skull, leaving a tingle in my right hand.
My pen is somewhat snug, but a revolver, no.
Ink and shovels aren't far from each other,
so your point is well-taken. In fact, they're co-workers –
Ink's proved itself just as deadly. It slowly ushers men into the earth,
their soil-seat, while the shovel stages the unending play;
the eternal lattice.
The Nobel hung above your head,
the vast array of pins, medals, papers with your name in billowing scarlet.
What a treat. Like the last cupcake in the back of
the refrigerator that had too much chocolate icing and was only
semi-covered in multi-colored snowflakes. I'd loved to have
personally presented it to you. There'd be my own plaque,
billowing scarlet and all. It'd say, "Mr. Heaney,
, you must own a *****." I hope you'd laugh, and not be offended,
thinking me a distasteful and insensitive lout. It may not be right,
but I can't help but steal the volumes surrounding yours out of
every **** library so
"Seamus Heaney"
may catch the eye of the common passerby
more easily. I think I even went to work on
enhancing a spine with a red sharpie once.
Red hits the eye hard.
That was in the central library downtown.
Don't tell anyone.
Beyond a laugh, what I hope for most is that you get this letter.
Just look at it.
Wonder why someone so far removed in age and culture and place
would ever think of you holding an over-frosted desert as glorious.
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