I hate when I get in moods like this
where all I want to do is cry and sleep and be alone
these moods are inevitable for me, they come and go
but ever since you came, these moods are even harder for me to cope with
because while i'm sitting alone in my room moping, at the same time all I want is you
it's a complete contradiction
so even though i'm not feeling my best at the moment,
i'll put on a happy face and tell you i'm fine,
because i'll take every second of your attention I can get
even if all I want to do is cry

When i'm sad, I sleep.
It helps me forget about all the stress, only if it's just for a couple hours.

When i'm sad, i'll take any minute of relief I can get.
Even if it's just in the form of me slipping away into my dreams for a while.

When i'm sad, I sleep.
And lately everybody has been complementing me on how well rested I look.

sometimes I think it would be better to be asleep all the time
so I wouldn't have to experience life in this way
with all of its pain and anxiety and heartbreak
but then I remember
theres more music to listen to, new people to meet, and places to travel to
why would I want to sleep through all of that?
Just because life seems better when you're dreaming doesn't mean you have to believe it actually is.

have you ever liked someone so much
that it literally breaks your heart when you aren't talking to them
or you feel their exact pain when they're sad or angry
and when you're with them you wish time would stop for eternity,
just so you could stay in their arms for a little longer

have you ever liked someone so much
that you're terrified at the same time
because at any moment that love could just stop
feelings that were once mutual could become one sided,
and you're left alone with memories of what you used to have

have you ever liked someone so much
that you trust them with all of your heart
you give them everything you have left just to make them happy
and you spend all of your time thinking about them
even though they're the one who could break you in an instant; you trust them anyway

have you ever liked someone so much
that you write about them because you never want to forget these feelings
even if things end up not working out
because these are the best days of your life
and if you hadn't met this person nothing would be the same

god ******* ******
im sick of waiting for you
move closer to me

i'm so excited to spend my summer with you
and the rest of the seasons that follow.
I like you so much (definitely more than I originally planned)
and I don't know how this happened and I don't know why
but they say once you spend enough time with a person you start acting like them;
picking up their idiosyncrasies and habits,
and I feel myself slowly starting to talk like you and make the same hand motions and even giggle the same way as you.
I think i'm even starting to pick up the iconic blush you get on your cheeks whenever you're happy.
I don't know if these things are just in my head or if my feelings for you are as obvious to the rest of the world as they are to me...
all I know is so many thoughts are rushing through my head.
millions of thoughts flying by, bouncing around my skull while my fingers dance across my keyboard trying to capture them and write them down before they escape and disappear forever.
believe it or not, every single one of these thoughts are about you.
you are the pinnacle of every thought and feeling racing through my mind and coursing through my veins.
I could write a never ending novel based on these notions, but i'll settle for this poorly written, lengthy paragraph instead.

I never thought i'd be the type of girl that overthinks relationships and twists them into something they're not,
like when we don't talk I know it's not because you don't want to,
but my mind warps it into me thinking the worst..
and I know we dont see eachother a lot (which makes the moments when we do even more special), but I just end up worrying and start thinking: maybe if you don't see me as much, you'll leave me.
You say you like me and i'm the most amazing girl you've ever met and I believe that you think that, but I don't believe it myself and I think maybe thats why I freak myself out so much.
So now i'll go take a long shower or do some work and wait for you to call so you can tell me how much you miss me, and my heart will swell with all these emotions...
it's like the best **** nightmare i've ever had and I don't want it to ever stop.
                                      So this is my poem, which isn't really a poem at all...
                                          *just the typical thoughts of a teenage girl in love.