things haven't been okay for a while now.
we're both pretending they are, but i know we can both tell.
i'm getting so tired of crying over you.
the pain is agonizing.
you don't love me anymore like you used to.
you don't spare my feelings when telling me that, either.
you screamed it at me, then acted like it never happened the next day.
i'm afraid that soon, you'll be acting like what we had never happened as well.

It's pathetic how much my heart relies on you.
I'm so afraid to face the day you decide to leave me...
because the day you leave is the day my heart breaks.
I don't think I can make it through that agony.

You only just left, but I miss you as though I haven't seen you in a year.
When we kiss, the only worry on my mind is when it will end.
I make sure I tell you I love you everyday so you won't ever forget.
I could just sit and listen to you talk for hours.
Daydreaming about you is what gets me through the day.
Your arms are home to me.
I think i'm gonna love you for a long, long time.

i've spent 6 months getting to know you.
6 months of laughing, and fighting, and loving each other.
and after half a year, I still get jealous of every girl that touches you.
I've convinced myself that I trust you. (more than anyone in the world)
-but there's still that feeling when i'm sitting at home alone while you're out without me, and I miss you like hell and I wonder if you even miss me in the slightest.
it's been half a year, and that feeling still haunts me like it did the second I met you.

Four months, and i'm still just as much in love with this boy as I was the first time I met him.
He never gets old, with his jokes and stories and antics.
I find myself loving the person I become when i'm with him; a happier version of myself.
I let my worries go when i'm with him, and miss him as soon as he leaves my side.
All I do is think about him, constantly.
I've gotten to the point where i've thought about him thinking about me.
Does he love me like I love him?
Will he ever leave me?
These are the thoughts and questions that race through my brain on a daily basis.
I'm in love with him, but that's the thing about being in love:
You're either in the best mood of your life, or the most depressed you've ever been.
For those of you who understand that statement...
I congratulate you and pity you all at once.
You've experienced something so amazing and horrific and lovely and gruesome.
You've experienced love; the silent killer that also plays the role of soul healer.

How can a boy like you with so much knowledge and prestige even think about being with me?
You're going to be a famous success story. A beacon of light for a lost generation.
All I have to give is mediocre poems and advice when sought out.
At first glance we seem like two completely different people.
And in some ways we are.
You're the one everyone depends on.
And i'm just a girl with knots in her hair and love in her heart.

i'm so in love
and it's breaking my heart
that i cant spend every waking second of my life with you
and that someone other than me is getting your attention
i know it may be selfish
or childish
or just plain dumb
but i cant help it
i partially blame you.
maybe if you werent so amazing i wouldnt have to spend all of my time wondering..
wondering if i'm just here until someone better comes along and takes my place.