She's been sent as a test,
to see how I handle the stress.
That's my guess.
And I've handled her well,
as she seeks to discredit me,
get at me,
push all my buttons.
She pushes and pokes,
and provokes.
But I'm not going to bite,
'cos she's wrong and I'm right.
So I'm playing the long game.
Staying the same,
being me.
Unperturbed by relentless
attacks on my work.
And it's working,
I'm learning,
I'm earning my stripes.
Growing up,
showing up.
Being sure of myself.
Dismissing the thoughts
that seek vengeance.
To stoop to her level.
'Cos I've been there before,
and it didn't work out.
She can shout all she likes,
and I'll never shout back.
'Cos I'm better than that.

The door locks from the inside,
and I don’t have the key.
The flaky paint and crumbling walls,
are falling in on me.

Dark curtains mask the windows,
the light bulbs are all blown.
Forgotten dreams and broken smiles,
and I’m here all alone.

I still hear the distant laughter.
In your life I once took part.
And I can’t let go, and I can’t move on,
And I can’t unbreak my heart.

Tell me you’re not perfect.
Tell me all the the things you’ve done.
Tell me everything so I can see
how you became what you’ve become.

Tell me all you’re secrets.
Tell me ones you dare not tell.
Tell me all you’re deepest darkest thoughts
how you stumbled, how you fell.

Tell it like it really is.
Not how you thought that it should be.
I’ve lots to tell to you as well.
The truth shall set us free.

Stop showing
You love me
A little at a time.

Stop saying
You care
Bit by bit.

Stop keeping
Me here
For tiny pieces of time.

Because I need
All of you
Not piece by piece.

I love
All of you
Not just some parts of you.

So love all of me
All the way
All the time.

Or let all of me go
All at once
For good.

It's 2 AM, yet I am awake
body dormant, but brain running wild
What I think of now won't matter tomorrow
a jumbled mess of insanity compiled

My mind keeps running, faster, faster
I can't even follow my own train of thought
Every second is like a new chapter
A new one begins as the last is forgot

Deeper thoughts are protruding surface
Predators of the night, they refuse to be silenced
Regrets and hardships thrown into a furnace
Crafting a weapon, a mind of defiance

I finally believe I may drift off to sleep
Yet floodgates have broken, a wave of mistakes
I let out a sigh, a breath of defeat
It's 2 AM, yet I am awake

Lousy days
Most days
Some days
It gets old. 

Ugly lies. 
Assumption ties
Your immaturity 
Into a bow. 

Two face 
Your face
Reminds me of a quarter. 
Head down tails up
You're nothing but a distorter. 

Some days
Most days
I can put up
With your face
But lately
Most days 
It's just a sad disgrace. 

Grow up
Show up
Teach your kid how to lie
Teach your kid how to hide
That second face they'll grow
To despise.  

But walk around
Like you know
How everything 
Suppose to be. 

Keep your head high
And keep your maturity low
Because those who can see 
Through your insecurities 
Knows just how far
Your fall will go.