cold wind burns my cheeks
red as a rose
golden leafs dance around,
and crunch underneath my scuffed up converse
down a ***** pebble road
I look down at my shoes
and remember the past.
sometimes i resent it
other times i thank it
today I don't know how to feel
so I guess i'll keep walking

putting myself first is something I've never been good at.
a fragile heart too big for my chest,
filled with such love,
but not for myself.
I will tend to your wounds,
and sing you to sleep
anything you need
and nothing for me

excuse me, miss?
are you paying attention?
x equals this,
and y equals that.
let's try this again,
its jumbled in my head.
remember this formula,
and recall that odd rule.
miss, do you get it?
oh god you're hopeless and,
you're hard headed, my dear
you just won't learn

bubble bubble
she boils over,
the hiss of the water
hitting a scalding hot ***.
it burns just the same as the matches
on her inner thigh that burned holes oh so long ago.
buzz buzz
just static in her head.

some call her an overboiled ***,
or a broken tv
either way,
she's useless to me

It's nothing new to me,
feeling out of place.
Never comfortable in my skin
How else to cope, but sin?

Just a few more sips,
that'll do the trick!
As I guzzle I look around and see
nothing but lonely empty bottles,
and lonely old empty me.

Skip this, toss that.
Avoid meals to gain control
I'll them not to worry,
even though they never do.

Another pound down, I deserve a shot

The hands on the clock are ticking
faster than I can walk.
Seasons are changing
along with my heart
A breath of fresh air was long overdue.
A whole new world, full of promise and hope,
Leaves me standing here lonely
with the same empty feeling I swore I'd escape
the second I left that god awful town.
But here I am.  Feeling quite worthless
and did I mention lonely?
Maybe the place wasn't the problem
Maybe I am.

Take me away from here
I am tired, and weak.
No desire, no drive
no more sparkle in my eye.
Maybe I'll always feel this dead