I feel like a little girl running with dandelions,
Their seeds spilling behind me
So that when I give them to you
Nothing remains but the stems
And you love them anyway.
But I’m in tears.

I realized today that I had lost you
Thirteen hours after your call
When the house was empty
And the pain was free to rush in.
And all I wanted was a hug from you
Your arms containing me so I don’t shatter.

But you’re not here.
So I stand in my silent kitchen,
My tears falling and my heart pounding.
Wondering if you’re thinking about me, too.

Maybe it’s cause I’m listening to so much Sinatra,
But profound thoughts hit me lately like bad news
And all I’ve been thinking about is you.
Driving on the freeway and wishing you were in the passenger seat
Bolts of lightning light up the sky like you light up my life
Briefly, powerfully, beautifully.

We hit a wall a few days ago.
It was partly your fault, partly mine.
You want so much of me
And I don’t have enough of me to give.
We’re still reeling like drunks after a fight
Wondering if we’ll ever walk straight again.

But I can’t imagine my world without you.
You’re the steel rod keeping my back straight
The first thing I think of when something out of the ordinary happens.
When I look in the mirror
I wonder what you would think.
So even though it would be easier if I was alone
It would make my world less worth inhabiting
If you didn’t occupy it.