I am sorry.
I know you hate it when I say it but it is too true,
too much a part of me not to.
I am sorry because I do not know who I am.
I am sorry because there is a gap between who I am and who I want to be.
The gap is too wide for me to see to the other side and I do not know how to jump
with trust that I won’t fall.
It is such an easy thing to say when you feel safe but outside
of what feels like home
it is so hard.

I am sorry I don’t know what to say around you.
I am sorry for all the words I haven’t said.
I am sorry I have too many things to apologize for I would never fit them on a page.
Know that I am truly sorry
Lately I’ve been trying to find a way to the side of who I want to be
but the shore is murky.
I don’t know where it begins.