Most times I think I did something wrong
As I pretend to sleep
I only focus on
the shallow breaths that hold me
I am hollow.
Eyes closed as my teeth grind
Helpless, I am
And careless, you
When you're not around
I pick specs of you off the ground
Like a fiend
And what's left of you now
Staggering into the memories
when I know they'll float away
like sailboats and getaways
Piece by piece
Into the skyline
grey and weak
But clean and porous
The waste, the mess
And I’m keeping this
you and my collapsed lungs
Ill treasure my bleeding soul
As if I couldn’t feel anything
Anything at all
They’re all keepsakes
To remind me of
Cruel You and earth and
the cold universe
And it’s buckets and baggage
Ill lie underneath just to catch
Raindrops of grief
And glass slivers of rue
And they drown
And they stick me
And I’m empty and I’m bare
But I’m full of you
And your bastardly hopes
Up to the brim, I’m spilling out
But could you please spare me,
At least,
A poor excuse for a vacuous
Clenching, desperate mettle

As winters breath gives me a shy kiss,
I sink into you.
Forgive me if I make you everything
I am not accustomed to yearning in particles,
Just in crests and great heights.
The narrowing of your hands,
Your untainted Blush,
The way you annex beams,
You hijacker, You owl.
And you come in waves,
That drown me with insistence.

Your eyes were hotels
Keeping me safe at night
At the expense of almost fastened hooks
and marrow in the folds
Something like a Transaction,
A Cartridge for a Sore
Each one of your blinks,
wafting plights through my pipe dreams
And Your lips; counterfeit salvation
Pretty presentations but lacking in procedure
Chewing on contentions before I even spoke
And Just Clear beyond the ***** of your truth
Tympanum ****** manufacture phantom lies
Determined to Scoff my psyche in a sitcom
Festering tongue shoving splinters of the former into my nail beds
Where nuzzles are necrosis and
Cloying sighs mutate into Apollyon
A mouth of ivory tacks and culpable rims
*****; Eager to siphon drums of poise to empty
And lick them clean to a drought
Coasting on exhaust
You depart from me;
Constricted tiny vessel and a plaque stuffed thought
A Rusted, Sorry Cask, flooded with idle junctures

Tears form Swarms in the Cavity of my Gut like little insects,
Playing house where you used to be.
And Underneath the viaduct
Where my dreams camp out with book bags
Jammed full of inexorable fates
Strapped to their crippled backs,
You prey and gather a stockpile of encyclopedias
About loss and what comes after
Aware of your hands, I've always been
How they complement your intentions
Picking pits into delusions like nervous tics
Knowing I'll always beg for more

Your eyes are black holes,
Concave and parallel to your Convex slanders.
The sockets fill with ghosts as
You spin galaxies of rancor across my tongue
and your thoughts are brutes
that ferment in my soul
leaving a thick film of sour solicitation
And I will taste you for millenniums
In empty bus stations and forgotten highways
In my feculent sheets after they spoil
And you will always remind me
When I eject dry heaves at 3 a.m.,
Just what it means to be alone.
As Plaintive howls hang limp like busted ankles
Pretending to be flickering stars
Their loyalty is embarrassing
And I will weep in sentences
Just as broken as me.
In syllables just as hollow
As your wearied body in my arms
On your last birthday.
I should have never caught your tears that night.
They were meant to sewer through the spaces in my fingers
I could have let them linger on your brims like death
Your cheeks were always landing strips for missiles
I would rather be deaf,
than hear the sound of your diseased sobs.

Your promises are oxidizing
And they are almost as honest as your eyes
My grin is slight
weak at the knees
that buckle and bulge
as if to mutter a dismal Plea
and beyond the creaking window
where foliage cankers
and boughs ***** buds like helpless infants
There Is You.
You that drapes Nirvana with seeds
seeds that rip and skewer and vacate like parasites
with their weeds that sprout with haste
And thou is a plague that ravages without pity
With Your Roots that reek of desperate wails
And although I am conquered
And still somewhat small
I will trudge through your vapid regrets
With celerity

The stillness saps molecules of animosity
in the bleak sunsets that stain your teeth
it is heavy and it is sullen
choking on spoonfuls of perjury
pitted sorrows trail down avenues
in the form of sunken eyelids and cheap gasps
your words seem crooked
somehow at bargain and veiled in gasoline
I am nothing when you say my name.
and these lesions are vacuous
with tiny cysts that camp out
on your tongue, with daggers
in my sheets,
wielding assaults on those phantom eyes
that I used to call my palaces
And when I reach out there is no one there
except a dense gloom
the same murk that I still feast on
the same fumes that I bloat my infant lungs with
in cities of dust
across oceans of filth
I will gawk at earth's decay
and slow dance in landfills of us

I exist in the corners of your lips,
Self-centered, You.
Possessive and hoggish, I.
Your lashes are conceived there, in the cracks.
Your thoughts are just as chapped.
Cheapened, perhaps.
I would still perish to kiss you.
Spill my tacit words into your mouth.
I could taste the restraints weeks ago.
They were loud and young and doltish.
We both sipped them anyway.
A sample of suffering,
For a marked down pact.
Now I am dirt under your fingernails.
Embarrassed by the rust of my tomorrows,
My maybes, my next weeks.
I never even saw your smile, though.
I bet it feels like corrosion.
Then theres you.
You that makes me infirm.
I am afraid of myself, but you arent.
I have grown accustomed to being macerated and **** out.
Your silence speaks in ******* volumes.
Chest sunk into spine.
Lungs inflated into ribs that refuse to budge.
Oxygen thicker than soup.
Throat tight like I wished your hands were around it.
Empty cups know more about my emotions
Than my eyes do.
Jet black strands of hair are assassins.
I was a center piece.
For your antique table.
And you disintegrated before you even finished
Watching me hemorrhage.
I would have loved ******* you.
But I would have loved the sound of you turning in our sheets
Even more.
Maybe I should drink some more, because I am not a p o e t.

Hallowed Squalls
Feast On Urgency
And Selfish Leeches Prey
On Elixir And Vacancy
And He Is A God
And She
An Empress
Both Laced
In Pearls Of Doom
And Decayed Ribbons
Plunged In Blooms
Of Promising Tomorrows
Glazed In Candy Dreams
Her Milk Skin
Pink Doll Pout
Latch Onto Lethal Axons
At Lover's Disposal
A Percocet Simper
Curled By An Eager Frenzy
Painted Deftly
By Covetous Fingertips
And Raging Sighs
Motion And Heat
Friction And Force
Gliding Avarice
Across Swollen Motive
And She Will Grovel
And Seek Execution
A Slave For The Soul

I lie strategically in place
Innocent framework fused
With royal carapace
Frail and allknowing fingers clenched and intertwined,
Mimicking the honest silver circuit in the night sky
As candid as the shore
Each slumbered and delicate breath
Vitally delivered from those sublime lips
Both damp and potent
I get a candied wind of
An accidental consolation
To my crippling worry
Sorrowful, I am, my love
For eavesdropping, but
My reveries are your keepsakes
And I,
Watching you sleep, carefully
In A placid coma, caging waves of covenants
And exhaling tokens of a life once dreamt of
I envisage the unvarnished truth,
your marrow as my sustentation,
Your veins, My lifeline
Where each filament of platinum and sorrel remain entangled and sprawled in forever, impeccably
And how drawn out and vexing
My intervals of lingering for you
Have been
And then you leak a sigh in a dream
And exhale a veil of whispers
Directly to my ribcage
And I simper, cradling you tighter
So you can breathe my craving,
My contented tribute
To my one veritable sentiment.
And I seal it all in the midst,
Of a drifted and slumbered and deathless
Kiss.

Two ultramarine diamonds
Glazed like hailstones
Transfixing and adoring
With the courage of a thousand monarchs
Peering with an immortal persistence,
Like the twirling whitecaps of the sea
And how they never forget to kiss the coast goodbye
Petrifying all nerve endings
In every gap
And every adjacent membrane ofaxons
In every gland and cell
Recepting molecules of hunger and thirst
Set aflame by
Pummels of my infant and eager heart
Both silhouettes swaying in greed
Yearning, longing,  speaking,
Pleading with a meek caress
For incessant spasms of arousal,
A stifled sob made of silk
Hushed by the storm of a lull
Sapphire globes fasten once again
A duet of mercy
Cupping cherub faces
Tracing trails of promise with settled fingertips
Down chilled spines
And frozen echoes
Tangled in a warmth never wielded

I saw you lurking there
With falcon claws and shark teeth
Waiting to feed on my soul,
Like a leech.
I give and you take.
You empty me.
Sorrow boils under my skin
My nerves turn into acid
And you splash them back at me
and watch me scorch
I wont hide.
Because for you,
I would shamelessly beg for more.

spoiled roots cling to the core of the earth
They weep silently
and their laments turn the bark into rot
the branches are tired
they bend and they break
Making slivers in the doomed sky
They are the architects of the motes filled with woe
They pretend that they are reaching for life
They are caving in.
Mimicking the writhing of one another
Dreariness,
deeper than The violent ocean,
As Angry as the raging waves
That abuse & abandon the shore
Slumped,
Unnoticed,
Vacuous,
I am.
The hollow shell falls
The soil cradles such a deplorable frame
What a wretch I must be.
In a world of rue

The dolor ruptures volcanoes
in my tiny field of reveries
like a reliable friend
taking jabs at my smile
You record my withering like your favorite tv show
And I am carefully gutted
By your parasite fingertips
as they race my arteries of decay to the finish line
you trace the outline of vacuous shadows
With moldy hope
and the way your miseries slither off the tip of your tongue
Into the swamps of my tomorrows
And I,
Sinking deeper Into a web of poison silk
That you sewed together faultlessly
with fibers of my pride
endurance is a past time
that i used to know
You never fade.
You always stay
and pick the layers
Of my wretched life away

Earth's satellite-- bloated and hung.
                  And there you were out of sight.
                  An accidental prize tucked in the crevice of tomorrow.
                  A lethal burrow abundant with barbed avowals.
In a sick dugout flourishing with axiom; an infestation.
You were;
                 The space tucked in a dream.
                 The conductor.
                 The lout existing in the basement.
                 The brute in love with disdain.
Plucking circumflex arteries- clumsy, unskilled.
Your mouth is a watering can.
Vena cava, then the right atrium.
Body parts for guitar strings.
I unravel and you're amused.
The exercise of reason, the functioning of the intellect.
Silence always stings.
                                     It feasts on the bone marrow.
                                     In the cracks of the asphalt,
                                     There you are again.
                                     Like a thief.
The Viper.
The hurricane smile I believed in.
Use me up and hang me out to dry with all the other bankrupt *****.
I'll still be dormant in the eye of your assault.

If this were a stainless life, where my wishes outran my dreams, I would be your Muse. You would be my consummate liberation. Pure. We would be two impeccable and intricate halves to a Whole.

I would delicately whisper the perfection of your thoughts. You would always know that every throbbing second of missing you scalds my chest like a straight shot of whiskey. I would always be guarded in your warrior arms incessantly, while your trembling fingertips fumble & untangle the strands of my hair. This, my love, parallel with your parted angel lips, perishing to ******* skin like deliverance. But instead, let me savor the deep sighs of your soul as you read me poems of Us in an embrace that vows timelessness. You would always deeply crave to flicker your tongue on my **** with the barbarity of a dragonflies' wings. (******* & Button too, please.) Our Love would always be frail and delicate enough to cradle a wounded sparrow or a bruised robins' egg. I would kiss away-- the raw heaviness of the world, the look of disquiet on your face during a restless & riotous week, the howling tears and grieving weeps on your cheeks that you never knew how to cry, your sad eyelids goodnight when a sinuous and cruel current of doubt tries to wash us out. The words we spoke to each other would always be used as a sanctity & a solace at all times and never to rage or destroy or damage. I would revel in the chasms of your heart when I heard our childs' laughter. We would float when you held my hand. In the mall. At the grocery store. In the car. On the sofa. Everywhere. We would always remember that every sky is not pale blue, that every rainfall is not tame, that every grin does not always radiate truth, but if we have each other we will always be pacified. We would never cease to see the fate of our boundless love with every docile or rowdy or concise kiss. We would reconstruct the phantoms of both our pasts into worthless and abandoned yesterdays, so they can never define Us. I would always appreciate the little things with you; Our harmonized breaths as we sleep, the pull of gravity when you take my breath away, every note in our favorite songs, the faint sunlight in Autumn that pierces your eyes to make them crystal, the crust of the moon in the cloudless night sky as we dream in each others arms, every precious word that is conceived behind your sinless lips, every wave and surge of ecstasy of every crescendo in the raptures of our frenzied desires, every smile that is illustrated by you. I would never stop reading you, interpreting you, learning you, saving you, holding you. I would anchor our wary hearts, fasten our hopeful eyes, meet you at every opened door, walk with you down every path of life, and never stop collapsing and descending and falling madly, deliriously, wildly, deeply, doubtlessly in Love with you. Sometimes we would cry ourselves to sleep until the weight of our pseudo laments turned into vigor. I would try my very best soothe every hurt, heal every scar, fight every war. Take every battle and make it mine so that you never have to fight. So that you never have to try. So that you never have to struggle. You would sing me to sleep; soft and quietly, out of tone and raspy, whispering and sleepy. We would just be, simply, us.