I find it hard to wash the taste of you out of my mouth
I struggle to keep that forever feeling of your hands
clenched into my hair.

I go through phases
of wanting your fingerprints consuming every inch of me
& senselessly scrubbing them off my body.

Watching as it all washes away into the drain below me
These thoughts
These feelings
A temporary fix
& yet to this day I am sorry most of all,
that you won't choose me.

I kissed the air and knew you had never been here
maybe one day we would share the same air

If I yell from the highest building in my city
and you yell from the highest building in your city
Will the screams ever meet?
It's one hundred degrees and I can barely hear the record player over every fan thats blowing
I haven't moved all day
I'm starting to think this mattress has taken a real liking to me
Bringing me reoccurring dreams of you gently kissing my knees.

Sometimes these stitches get so tight
I can hardly open my mouth
all my wisdom teeth are falling out
So many unimportant things our bodies create
only to be removed
only to stop the pain.

a conversation like a broken record,
the cold dimly lit kitchen, warmly nostalgic.

the flaw of remembering only the sweetest things,
a glutton for complex empathy.

daydreaming of tracing the smile lines around your mouth with my fingertip.

until the tea kettle interrupts with a scream,

another elusive fantasy.