the little things make me happy
like getting a text saying
"i missed you today"
or
"feel better soon"
it just makes me feel really nice
and important
and like someone cares
it gives me hope
that maybe
just maybe
i'm not as alone as i think i am

when i look in the mirror
i can't appreciate what i see
i'm no work of art
i'm not beautiful
or special
i'm just a girl
who is overlooked
because i'm not the Mona Lisa
i'm just a ****** sidewalk chalk drawing
that was crated by the 8 year old that lives next door
i'm just ugly scribbles on the old concrete sidewalk
no one bothers to look
or to say "hello"
i'm just there
with cracks and flaws in my foundation
that no one bothers to repair
i'm a mediocre piece of art
if i even qualify as that much
and when the rain comes to wash me away i will be gone
but i won't be sad
because i know that even though i wasn't beautiful
or mesmerizing
or enchanting
i had a purpose
i was significant
and hopefully i meant something to someone
and for once in my life
i am happy

my walls have been torn down
only to be rebuilt time after time again
but this time
i'm going to build them out of concrete
and i am going to bolt them to the ground
that way no one will be able to break them
maybe then
i will be safe
once and for all

you made me feel inadequate
you made me question my self-worth
you made me hate my reflection
you made me skip that meal
all because i wanted to be good enough for you
you were the bullet
that shattered my soul
i bled out on the bathroom floor
murmuring your name over and over again
did you think i was bulletproof?
because i'm not
you broke me into a million pieces
but next time i'll know better
i'll protect myself
and i won't let you anywhere close enough to hurt me
ever again

the closer you get
the faster my heart beats
you touch my hair
and i shiver with delight
your skin brushes up against mine
and i hold my breath
all i want is your lips on mine
i want to melt into you
i will give you everything i have
just to be yours
just for a minute
or a second
because you are what i want and what i need
and if i can't have you
then i don't know what my life would be like
but all i know is that with you in it
it is filled with light
so be mine
and we'll light up the world together

how can you sit there and break someone down
and feeling nothing?
how can you cheat, lie, and deceive
and feel no remorse?
how can you treat someone so badly
and still expect the best from them?
how can you give nothing to someone
who gives you their everything?
i feel bad for a lot of people
but i don't feel bad for you
i feel bad for the people
that have been subjected to your torment
because when you're done with them
there's nothing left
you **** the life out of them
you leave them weak and breathlesss
you take all their happiness with you
and yet you still think everyone owes you something
but how does making someone feel little make you feel bigger?
i will never understand you and why you do what you do
but then again
i don't think i ever want to
because that would mean i would have to be like you
and i would rather die
than have to live my life with a heart as cold and emotionless
as yours

loneliness
is just a ten letter word
it doesn't mean much
but to me
it feels like much more
it is like a rock that has been tied to my soul
i am thrown into the dark abyss of the sea
with the waves kissing my face and dragging me under
the colors swirling all around me
and my feet and arms flailing
trying to pull myself back up to the surface
but i can't  
because this rock is pulling me deeper and deeper
and nothing can save me
soon i will hit bottom
but that's okay
because it will bring peace
peace is a five letter word
and hopefully it will only bring half the pain that loneliness does