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Hi my name is Emily
I am fifteen
nothing special
my mom left
I was 4
I only see my sister
once a year
my family and friends
deserve so much more
I'm just a burden on
everything
everybody
I hate myself
the bullies made me hurt myself
I cant hate myself forever
I might as well not
be
here
I was so happy
With this new boy
That made me forget that
You and I ever existed

Then you tell me you're biggest secret
You had ***
With your current girl toy
Washing up memories
I thought I had scrubbed away

Now the terrible thoughts leak back into my head
Drowning all my happiness
With this vow of silence
You made me take

I feel  my aching mind ticking like a time bomb
That could go off at any second
Causing me to snap
And stain myself in hot crimson

I take a needle and thread and sew my mouth shut
I close my eyes and try and wipe away the memory of you confiding in me
Bleaching my brain cells in the process
Causing me to grow weary once more
Killing any ounce of feeling I had left

So, I'd like to thank you for what you have done
You started to pull me back to you
Thus strengthening my feelings for my new boy
The one who is nice to me
The one who doesn't lie to me
The one who really loves me
Unlike you
He's better
And doesn't constantly tear me down
And make me want to cease my existence

He helps me breathe in this toxic air you've created and expel it as if nothing had ever happened between you and I
I live to love
For an hour
Or forever

I live to collaborate
Wanting always for others to become a part of me
A puzzle that will never be complete

I live to make
To write
To draw
To sew
To play

I live to make mistakes
To help
And accept help
The joy of giving out party favors
The art of distinguishing those only takers

I live to tell you
How beautiful you are
Precious someone
Complete and pure
Together we've shared our sleep

I live to hold hands
Warm
Cold
Big
Small
Can something so tiny
Even count as a finger

I live to share my food
My thoughts
My dreams

I live to listen
To hear
To feel
To meet the vulnerable you
And keep that being safe

I live to give thanks
To empathize
Sympathize
Apologize

I live to encourage
To laugh
To clap
To sing

I live to dance
To move
To climb
To fly

I live always ready to say goodbye

E. Poe
*Nov 2013
The morning smells like rain…again.
There are some things that remain in question,
mostly bitter-sweet sentiments
masked as joy and happiness;
it is funny how the straight and narrow
road is really a circle,
the perceptions of progress are illusions
because the accompanying footprints are different.
Here I am taking steps back only to reach
the same plateau because hope kissed me
sensually on the lips;
different is not always better
just as love is not eternal

Raindrops…
The moisture on the window;
the weekend huddled beneath the blankets,
the only thing separating what is real
and what is perceived.
The constant tapping against
the glass is a beautiful symphony within the psychology.
I followed my heart towards the pit,
staring into the opening and catching the glitter
from a fading light.

Sunlight breaks through these gray clouds…
The less we speak, the more we learn;
there is an unsettled situation
within the correlation.
Something is amiss,
I cannot put a finger on this
point of quiet contention.
To remain in this abandoned shelter,
this place of insanity,
is the only hope of weathering
these frigid temperatures.
My lips are numb and my heart is cold;
I can see the sun and that’s all that matters.

— The End —