I know what it feels like
To be isolated
stranded on an island
in a sea of meaningful conversation
so remote you need binoculars
to find people holding hands

thats not us today
not you second mom
not me failing educator
but us
jovial and talkative
skipping down mainstreet
stopping in pocket parks
to plan our towns future

i want to take you somewhere
that place that we used to go
well not together
that breakfast place
's been around for a half century
well
its not there any more
its a bar now
look ill buy you a shiner
and you just sit there
look pretty
and write on this dollar

and thats what she wrote
"b [star] [heart]"
with the shapes there instead
just over washingtons face
and i made for it a frame
just in the corners
and the new bartender
stapled it right in plain view
above the ***** section
down at the end
where the old men talk about
the ways that it hasnt
or never will
work out for them

you embody their silent shrine now
you are reigning over the space
where they come to be lonely
but talkative though
the place where they come
to find people with whom to hold hands
to skip down main street
to stop in pocket parks
and talk about the way
things need to be changed
and how [we] can change them

the final day approaches
more quickly than any
chicken on a june bug
this is the first time
my great grandfathers aphorism
has resonated so deeply

i implore them
each and every one
ask me
ask me anything
i can help you embrace
what your unencumbered peers
treasure
what guides them to a bright future
and its absence in you
to something far more dismal

despite my rationalization
my soft realization
i hold out hope

for you, proprietor of un criadero de caballos
stable full and ahead by a nose
for you, avian veteran
star college running back in the end zone
for you, pop artist
changing galleries with colorful violence

its soon out of my hands
grains sliding through my grip
onto your desk
with which to build
a magnificent castle
or to blow back upon the earth

ask me anything
if i dont know we can search
for truth
and then Truth

im told times up
dont drag me out yet
let me finish this lin..........

you said
you werent going to eat off my plate
but now its clean
and im hungry

you said
this was your last smoke
but my packs empty
and im feenin

you said
YOU SAID
ill be with you thursday
but my beds empty
and im alone
and cold
yearning
livid

but im taking breaths
deep ones
teaching myself that each voice
each utterance
doesnt bind me or you
to a radiator
stuck in the dark
and steam burned

these chances to vibrate
throaty chords
are chances to perfect our relationships
with acuity we sharpen our souls
through our tongues
but accuracy is the sum
toward what each syllable should strive
each consonant building towards
our harmony
and peace of mind
validating our trust

tell me a secret
whisper a truth

kick turn and flip up covers
replay
and again
i touched myself
and was held
i dont need you
but to be loved
replaced the things
visage
and my reflection
return
interluded
my behavior
connection discarded

necessity

caressing you
the nape of your neck
towards the dimples on your back
flirting with every finger
to a jazz rhythm
making every pore pert
dreaming about our love
waking you up most subtly
coaxing you back into the bed
back toward the place where we
have the best memories
STOP
that tickles
and to write this
only to the be coaxed back
come cuddle with me
i oblige

stay still
perfect and silent
stay any way youre going to be
stay if cranky
or too tired to keep your eyes
pried open
just stay
in fact
ill move half of the ****
from the small closet
closet?
**** that
i have five
just stay
sleep here
just like you are now
soft and welcoming
sweaty and chastising
sleeping with a skerple in your hand

i found it
buried in the couch
stuck between two cuushions
next to an old cheeto

come home
be with me

i let you throw
your shorn leg
along side me
requested acutally
but before

"come here
be with me"

i leaked
me

i got a minor in dogs
who knows what i was talking about
you walked in and shook me to my core
no not apple
what was i saying