i want to recite my favourite poems to you until you get tired of my voice

but i secretly hope that never happens as well

because these pages , though the words of another human ,
spill my soul

they’ll teach you how to understand me better than i ever could

every time i have ***
with a man that is
without failure i cry afterwards

i don't know why this is
maybe it's because every man's touch
feels a little like yours

feels a little like regret

feels a little like grime

that showering a thousand times will not help

you ***** ***** man
playing with my innocent heart
getting up and slamming the door
every time i wouldn't let you come inside

It took me two months to fall in love with you

It took me one night to reverse what we had

It will take me a lifetime to forget

i won’t ever understand why i still beg you not to leave
when i know you’re already gone

I sleep to avoid them
I stay awake to avoid them
I can’t catch a break

I hope no one ever treats you
Like the Instagram teens treat their plants
in that I hope they don’t keep you around
Just because you look nice
Yet neglect your wellbeing
Until you wither
You can always be replaced , right?
Wrong.

I have made a home out of my loneliness.
I have put out wind chimes.
The morning winds are my only company.
But they come , and they go.

I have put a lock on my door
So no one dare enter.
I have put out a mat that says “*******.”
So the neighbours know not to bring me a housewarming gift.
For I am not new to this neighbourhood.
I have been in this home of loneliness
for longer than they could ever imagine.
But this house ,
it's not a home.