I have made a home out of my loneliness.
I have put out wind chimes.
The morning winds are my only company.
But they come , and they go.

I have put a lock on my door
So no one dare enter.
I have put out a mat that says “*******.”
So the neighbours know not to bring me a housewarming gift.
For I am not new to this neighbourhood.
I have been in this home of loneliness
for longer than they could ever imagine.
But this house ,
it's not a home.

i understand why you ate that yellow paint
van gogh
van gogh
i want to be van gone

Your legs are at 10 and 2
Baby girl , let me go down on you
Let me write poetry between your thighs
My words will take your breath away

I’m sorry i couldn’t bring myself to get out of bed someday’s to go to work. I’m sorry i gave up, quit, without letting anyone know. That’s beating me in the *** now and i wish i would have listened to you.

2. I’m sorry that i’m not your ‘pretty little girl’ anymore . i’m sorry i’m not anything to be proud of. Now that i’m starting to realize things , now that everyday i’m needing to be more of an adult , i’m realizing that maybe you were right all along.

3. I promise i’m not trying to make things ******* you , if anything , it’s just as ******* myself.

4. I’m not ‘just like him’. I am my own person . I am worthy . I am not someone you can just commit your love to , and leave.

5. I’m sorry i tended to reach for you whenever i felt in despair. I should have known there was someone else. Maybe I don’t want the sympathy , Maybe I just want your voice telling me that things are alright.

6. Maybe i miss getting tea with you , even though you barely drank any. Maybe you remember the way i like my tea , or maybe you don’t.

7. It’s not anyone’s fault but my own. Who ****** me off now? No one. It’s my brain that’s ******* me off.

8. I’m sorry the drug store takes all of our money.

9. This isn’t a cry for you back . This isn’t a cry for anything. This is an apology. Here it is , here I am , I’m sorry.

The only time you ever called me beautiful is when your hands were on my chest,
The only time you ever told me how lovely I was is when you were unclasping my bra
The only time you told me you loved me was after you came
That’s all I ever meant To you
Have a sad ***, baby

You learned what you wanted

You learned how to make my tea just the way I liked it

You learned how to make the bed just the way I liked it

But you were never prepared to learn how to love me

When I got bad again

As a young girl, I was taught that a boy being cruel to me , treating me like absolute crap, meant that he liked me.

Maybe that’s why I get into the situations I do now.

Maybe that’s why I’ve had no luck.

I fall for the cruel , mistaking hate for unconditional love.