casually observing my body from the outside
watching me fall apart
my face sliding off my cheeks
my abdomen rotting
my hands and feet lying listlessly against my bedcovers.

i have become a bystander
a slightly curious stranger
keeping an eye on the ****** on the street -
me
watching my antics
wondering at my behavior
cringing at the pathetic pleading that stretches from my eyes
to my toes
to his phone screen

i wonder how long she can carry on
before her head blurs in its motion
before her hands claw together
before she smolders out
a wait and see
sort of game
how long
can she
last
how fast
is too fast
how much
is too much
how long
before he leaves her alone again

Home, a place of your own.
A place where you don't have to worry about others.
A place where you're in charge of what happens.

Home, a safe haven.
A place to run to if you're scared or upset or anything.
A place that offers shelter from the evil that lurks outside.

Home, the base of your life.
A place where you take care of things.
A place where you go to sleep every night and wake up every morning.

Home, it can be big, it can be small, but what really matters is that you can say "Home, sweet home".

that bridge is long burnt
embers floating away
in the water
the current
dispelling the nightmare

but i still remember the bridge.
and when i see a stretch of water i feel the ghost of it there
clinging to the dirt and the undergrowth

i know it was there.
and it frightens
me

Jealousy, a bad feeling to have.
I've been taught that jealousy is bad and useless.
Jealousy isn't gonna give you what the other has.
I've stayed true to that my whole life...
But as I stare out the window, into the street, and I see all those happy people, those happy couples, people hanging with their friend groups, I feel this sensation inside me slowly growing and growing.
Jealousy, best to avoid it, cause it can break ya.

I hate my life.
And my brain.
It limits me so much,
I can't stand it.