It hurts so much to look at you,
that sometimes I still cry,
and that alone makes me look back,
and start to wonder why...

Why were you so cruel to me?
Until the very end,
you know I find it funny cuz,
I thought you were my friend.

I don’t know what to say to you,
to end all of this pain.
But all I know is this, my friend,
I know it’s all in vain.

Once, you were a part of me.
A big piece of my heart.
And when you had let go of me,
you stole that giant part.

I’ll never be the same again,
I will never be whole.
But in the end, it’s all okay,
cuz I still have my soul.

Just looking at you...
I feel the happiness fade from my heart;
swallowed by the dark void that holds my heart’s rightful place.

Your smile is so fake,
that it brings tears to my eyes.
I know who you are, and I hate you.

But before it got to this point,
you showed me hope, love, friendship,
and most of all, you showed me how wrong I was.

How wrong I was to put my trust in you,
to believe in you, be with you, and act like you.
How wrong I was to call you my life.

I learned a lesson from you today,
I guess I should thank you.
You were my best friend at one point, before I hated you.

And maybe,
just maybe,

You’ll find it in your heart to find yourself again.
So I won’t have to watch you grow as someone you’re not,
and I can finally put my past behind me.

I'm in a dark place right now.
Because everyone insists I live in your shadow.
I need to be more to the likeness of you,
apparently.
I don't like that idea.
But, who's there to listen?

I'm in a dark place right now.
Because everyone thinks I'm doing something wrong.
I need to be more to the likeness of everyone else to fit in,
apparently.
I scream because no one has the guts to stand up for them self.
But, who's there to listen?

I'm in a dark place right now.
Because there's too many people telling lies behind my back.
I need to stop doing drugs,
apparently.
I didn't know I was doing them; I'm trying to stand up for myself here.
But, who's there to listen?

I'm in a dark place right now.
Because everyone's taking up all the f*cking light.
I need the sun to survive,
apparently.
I'm trying to tell you that I don't know how long I can live without it.
But, who's there to listen?

My check in card expires today,
so I guess I'll be on my way.
Until I find a way to pay,
This is all that's left to say.


:( Be back soon hopefully!

Falling down
Again, it seems
Like no one
Listens anymore.
It feels like
No one's there, everyone's just...
Gone.

Downward spiral leading me to an
Open vein in my life.
Wondering why I could
Never stop sooner.

At last, when all the smoke clears.
Night turns to
Daylight.

Good morning, is
Everything I needed
To hear.
Today,
I** start myself over again.
Not going to
Get beaten down so easily anymore, because...

Up there, I know you're watching me, and it's you, who
Pulls me back together when I fall apart.

Let the rain fall down,
let it wipe away the pain,
then pick yourself up.

I close my eyes and fall forward,
images fluttering through my mind.
They hit me like a freight train.

Over and over and over again,
I can't stop them.
They hold my mind in a sadistic trance.

I'm standing closer to the edge than I should be allowed.
But why does it matter?
I close my eyes and fall forward.

Who's going to be there at the bottom to catch me?
Or am I just going to crash into the pavement?