your love had limits.

your love,
wrapped in warmth,
soft socks,
long sweaters,
tea,
long chapters,
your love,
in degrees.

I fall deep in your love
in time with the seasons.

SPRING
brings
green tea and growth
between
the YOU
and the ME,
SUMMER
shines
and we heat up the sheets,
once used for mere sleep,
my fingers dance up your spin,
you give love to me every time,
but you don't know what you want
I know what I want.
I want you. I want you to be Mine.

and this is the FALL,
burnt orange,
crimson red,
life dying,
leaves falling,
Im constantly calling,
your name in the  littered streets cloaked in decay,
and the leaves their dying,
I am falling ,
over the edge,
over your edge,
down your walls,
I reach for your heart,
hearts beat,
beat.beat.
I listen to your feet pound the earth escaping sunsets, to sunrise,

And I am surprised after every time,
you pass on the Raggedy Ann,
and I boycott the bands you introduced me too,
though the melody already bleeds in me,
I feel the cold of winters fingers,
causing my hold on you to break,
my hold on truth to shatter,
it doesnt seem to matter
you ripped out my organs
and you are gone gone gone.

as I reach toward twenty
its hard to see past it
don't see much
don't see much past 2 o'clock
no sir no sir
got an exam
then it's the long flight
back home to momma
back home to all those
chirping birds
kicking and screaming
how I love
to tear them apart
how I love
smooth
muffled moves in the dark
cannot wait
mouth watered in anticipation
that sweet love comes quick
cheap and easy
it's the sour one
worth working for
the one that
doesn't talk as much
cold and hard
can't crack that shell
no sir no sir
but it's the challenge
that almighty game
predator and prey
--never know which one's you
till you're chewed up
or ******* up--
no choice
if you don't
you're the sucker
you gotta play it
gotta make the moves
but watch out
she's got claws
like razorblades
and they won't let go
they won't let go
no sir no sir

she is getting married
I had no idea
tying the knot
while I can hardly
tie my shoes without
falling over anymore
think back on the nights
I'd lay in her bed
naked and young
while her parents slept
through a thin wall
we would wait
wait wait wait
until we heard the snoring
and then make love
--with serious concern
for the noise level--
always shushing
and snickering
our bitter and dark secret
continuing long after
we had ended
there were times I would
fly into town
and her groom to be
would be out at work
and we would move
to and in her room again
new now
more mature
grown up
picture frames and feng shui
not the pink and black
blankets and posters
that used to surround us
and we would make that
silent love
waiting for the garage door
and then I'd sneak out her window
careful to cover the trigger that
set off her alarm
I know that window
like my own front door
cutting through her
and the neighbor's
yards to where my
car was conveniently
parked
four houses down
I never met the man
he worked all day
always brought
her home something
sweet
--a true class act
i'm sure--
I was the down and out
the one that you don't
bring home to daddy

she is getting married
and I didn't even know
some other man some other problem
oh how things
grow and fall apart
just to grow together again
she'll walk down the aisle
while her daddy and my
missed opportunities
hand her off to a
better man
and I'll come in town
a few years from now perhaps
and make sure
I'm quiet
as to not wake the kids
before fleeing
--quickly and quietly--
out that window
once again

You pace in circles.
I speak in smoke rings,
an occasional finger-snapped heart,
a masted boat if I could.
Away away to ocean
in long-legged strides.
Waves crash against the sides,
left, front, and right,
in ripe blueberries and whitewash.

Come to the cabin,
a tail of breadcrumbs,
keep your socks striped,
pinks and purples.
A David Austin rose, or three.
I'm not cohesive either.
Flaunt the ship's wheel,
solid oak, dark, mesmerizing,
nearly your eyes now.
Let gray skies form clouds,
don't pray for better weather.
The rain grumbles hunger,
veiled moonlight stretches its arms
down to slatted deck,
spraying it in gangtag graffiti.

Stay here, circles more on the floor.
Your hips, footprints up your toes
from a whiskered mouse with dusted nose.
He's escaped and curled up
the nook of your ankle.
Eighteen knots tangle your hair.
Call the winds to come in storms,
they'll surely lead the way.