childhood
is full of once in a lifetime experiences.
it is full of smiling,
living in the moment,
not worrying about bills or mortgages,
or gas money or grocery shopping.
childhood
is something we always wanted to grow out of
moving away from our barbies and bionicles
and trading them in for make up and playboys.
even though, sometimes,
when heads were turned away,
we dug up our favorite plastic friends
just to see how they were doing in the darkness.
childhood
is something we always wanted to leave behind when we were children
become big adults
with our fancy clothing
happy homes
and lack of vegetables.
and yet we forget
that childhood
is, simply,
full of laughing.
and fully grown
i now live on the memory
of my sandbox sidekicks
and their laughter.

please, just try; love me.
love me with all of your heart.
here, take mine: it’s yours.

i hope you're well,
that you accomplished everything that you wanted to
that your lips met another's at the drop of the last second of the year.
i hope that you set resolutions
but not too many
for you are already perfect the way you are.
and i hope
with all of my heart
that as the years past
and the colors fade
and the settings change
that you will always
always
always
try
to remember me.

birthdays are funny
people gather
and give you presents
just to celebrate another year of your being.
and it's strange to think
that people actually care enough
to write you cards
give you scarves
or other handmade things
just because it signifies another year of life.
but i love my friends.
and i love the people who surround me
and i couldn't say how i got so lucky
to have them all in my life.

i am sick
with what feels like a bad cold
mixed with a horrible flu
yet you still have no fear
in placing your lips against my cheek.
you bring me warm soup.
you laugh into my thermos
and you hold my hand
because nothing else matters.

when i am home alone
my separated parents off doing separated things
i drive my car around the neighborhood
looking at the christmas lights.
i do this in silence;
i want nothing more than to just gaze at them
remember the sheer awe and beauty
of a couple little lightbulbs strung together on wire.
it used to strike me as odd
why people hang lights anyway around christmas time
but i soon came to realize
it's because it brings people closer together.
neighbors whom you have ignored
are now helping you find power outlets.
friends of your wife whom you used to detest
are now handing you a plate of cookies, smiling and wishing you a safe and wonderful christmas.
i see this all of the time.
and it makes me smile to know that
just by a simple arrangement of little blue-bulbed lights
we are all, actually
family.

it's three in the morning
and all i can think about
is how somewhere
near or far
the moon is reflecting onto the ocean
and it's beautiful.