I swear I felt you move
& as I lie awake,
here alone,
I realize it wasn't real.

It was just a figment,
a figment of my wild imagination
I try to put to sleep
each night
I think of you.

Your eyes
are dark and
dull...

I could've
sworn they
were bright blue
when we
first
met.

I breathed you in
like the smoke from my
last cigarette;
it was bitter-sweet
to taste you on my lips.
And although I never had anything
all-that-useful to say,
I'd like for it to be known
that I still
           love you.

even if your cancer
is metastasizing
in my
heart.

ladies and gentlemen this little girl
with the good teeth and small important *******
(is it the Frolic or the Century whirl?
ones memory indignantly protests)
this little dancer with the tightened eyes
crisp ogling shoulders and the ripe quite too
large lips always clenched faintly,wishes you
with all her fragile might to not surmise
she dreamed one afternoon
                            ….or maybe read?

of time a when the beautiful most of her
(this here and This, do you get me?)
will maybe dance and maybe sing and be
absitively posolutely dead,
like Coney Island in winter