your father did not stay long enough to teach you these things, all he stayed for was the birth certificate and the first looks at you naked. but you don't tell people about that, same as you don't talk about all the times he's come back for the same thing.
and despite your mother's best efforts and cookies, you did not stay long enough for her to teach you. it is why you think you are like your father, this endless string of leavings.
and so it is that i, the worst teacher of them all, have been forced to tell you this.
and i am much better written down, or at least i'm braver.
so these are Your Guidelines:
The Way to Reach From The Whiteness:
do not love boys with shallow eyes, because they will always turn out to be deep, and you will feel betrayed
do not love girls just because they look like boys , or because you think that will make them happier.
your only fault my dear is that you think all you are good for is to be someone else's everything, even though you have seen how impossible it is.
for once, please let yourself be only a little, with sometime else to fill in the gaps and together you will be everything.
don't run around the block when you think you should, only run when the running is the only thing keeping you sane.
when you are making love, remember that what you are doing is not ***, you are trying to get into each other's skin, and under each other's fingernails.
wear the pink shirt.
it will not make you any gayer than you already are
you will go to university, i know you will
stay there, for once resist the urge to leave and turn up at my window again.
stay, learn the things no one knows, until you find your favourite book, and a boy with skin the colour of you carpet and eyes and colour of your wallpaper, for he is already home.
treat him the care, love him the only way there is, with sweet kisses and midnight dances.
do not be afraid to hold his hand, it will not burn like the others
learn how to hide your hands from people who will see them as your father's, made for the same things.
keep your hands on you guitar, around the pencil, do not let them think they can take these things away from you
you are not your father.
i know you will do the right things.
and i know you will die, but before this, you will live and you will be happy, always.