did i ever tell you how
i fell in love with the moon?
yeah,
she lit up my dark world with her infinite beauty,
so i spent my life following her.
i wore myself down running after her.
sometimes i felt she was drawing closer,
but then she was distant as ever,
so maybe i was just going mad.
sometimes i felt i was giving up all i had.
but the moon was all i ever wanted.
so i stripped myself of the earthly things weighing me down.
i knew i had to learn to fly.
and to learn, i had to fall, so i fell.
but there's no way in hell
i'm giving up my chance at heaven.

There's nothing I can do
There's nothing I can do
There's nothing I can do
There's nothing I can do

I'd give anything to give this heart a rest.
If this were easy, maybe it wouldn't be worth it. But god, is this worth it? I'm cutting myself open, I'm letting my heart tear itself apart, I'm causing hurt and harm. This is something I cannot handle.

I don't want to talk about you moving on
I don't want to discuss your future
I don't want to hear about you cutting off the dead weight to fly free and happy while I fall to ground and break the concrete.

We'll speak these words like sadness doesn't drip from every one of them.
We'll put on this act like everything is just fine while our hearts hurt in our chests.
We're going to hold on to what is available even though it's like gripping razor blades while we dangle over a black hole.
If we let go,  we're going to fall into the abyss, so we might as well stay with our bleeding hands.
And we will not mention the every-so-often feelings that will wash over us with yearning and impossible want, because what's the point in saying it out loud? It only kills me a little each time when I swallow the truth. What a small price to pay.

You said "you need to be stronger"
So I pulled my armor on
Can't keep this up much longer
And it was my fault when you were gone
Because I wanted you too much
And I needed you, too bad
And I always said I'm sorry
But you took advantage of that
There you are months after,
You're joking that I could never win a fight
With you and it broke my heart
That you were right.
Cause I wanted you happy
I couldn't stand to see you lose
I wanted you more than everything
So I stayed, for you to use.
You were hurting and I couldn't see
That maybe there was some way
You weren't right for me.
But how could that be?
I wanted you desperately.
So you left and you took my heart
And it was never harder to be apart
I was longing for you in tears on my bed
You didn't care how many I shed
You drove home in silence
And I tried to stop crying
And I spent the next months
Trying and trying and trying
But it wasn't enough,
You called your own bluff
Said you couldn't do this
But couldn't you have figured that out
Before you found my lips to kiss?
Anyway
I found a way to survive
Fake it til you make right?
Just smile and you'll be okay in a while
Doesn't matter if you're falling apart
That's the best lesson you gave me,
Along with how to break a heart

You light my darkness.
You explode into nothing.
I really miss you.

You're right there.