It's a deep breath in,
****** through the nose.
Gotta clear that airway for a straight line,
Of sparkling dust,
All crushed up.
She cleans off her library card,
Giving her finger a taste of pure snow,
Twisting up that twenty dollar bill.

Skin crawling with anticipation,
Take it all in,
Take it all in!

Oh god, that ******* drip.
God love this ******* thrill.

Daddy, take the long way home,
Tell me things about you that I don't know.
I love the look on your face when I remind you,
Of how you left me alone.

Your eyes are heavy,
Like you want to give up already.
I'll hold you here,
I'll hold you near.

Daddy, take me to the river where we cry,
Let me torture you and ask you why,
Don't run away, we're not finished here.
I want to see your face when you lie.

Your voice is low,
We're sad and I already know,
You're consumed with fear,
You're afraid they'll hear.

Daddy, don't get in that car,
I know once you do you'll drive pretty far.
Just confront it, you're not alone,
We can fight this war.

But your will is weak,
You start to freak,
Get away and leave me here,
Look back and watch me sink.

Your soul is empty of feeling,
This *** is empty of meaning.
My head is empty of reasoning,
My heart is not so forgiving.

Turns out every vile word was true,
******* me didn't mean **** to you.
A body is a prize,
Alive, to use.

And all the lies strung out for hours,
I tortured myself for a truth.

I had everything for proof.
Deny, deny,
But that was your **** in her picture.
That was your mouth on her body.
Your hands on her skin.

It was so funny when you thought you'd won,
Getting away with having twice the fun.
Smoothing it over with compliments,
"You motivate me to be a better person."
So full of ****, I almost cried.
But you were so stupid it was easy to smile.

You always thought you were cunning,
Strong ego,
Too large a head.
I let you believe that I was ignorant.
You wanted that taste of freedom so badly,
No burdens, no remorse.
Getting away with what you do best.
I did not let you in,
I did not tell my secret,
I never neglected my intuition.
It feels so good to trust yourself,
Fall back on yourself,
Rebuild for yourself.
You will never amount to anything real.
You'll only live to your greatest exaggeration.
My life is literal.
My success is tangible.
You wither to **** without a fluffed ego.
Need someone to hold your hand,
Remind you to shut up and be a man?
*******,
It won't be me.
I don't have time to motivate a dead beat.

The way into my love,
Is a revolving door,
Spinning endlessly in darkness.
Never closed, never open.
A limbo of expectations.
Heavy and with great responsibility,
To keep in motion.
They learn they'll never get inside.
They all get sick and hide.
Learn to ride,
I'm dying inside.

I'm slurring my words,
And swaying back and forth,
Right here on,
Your front porch.

You've had enough,
But I want more.

You don't open your door.

I'll always want more.

Giving up,
I take a walk to the liquor store.
The clerk asks,
"Are you sure?"
I pay my fee, stumbling,
Fumbling with the dollar bills,
I earned dancing the night before.
I always want more.

I always want more.

I move slowly day to day,
I don't recognize a smile,
For what it is.

Everyone is angry to me.

Everyone is angry,
And they're angry with me.

Everyone smiles nervously.

They know I'm on the edge,
I'm an unpredictable mess.

Step back, step back.
Don't get too close,
Don't let my failures stain your hopes.