Pick a card,
And cut your pill.
Apply pressure to the middle,
Break it apart.
Shave the fragments to dust.
Clean, perfect lines.
Roll your bill.
Sniff.
Mind the drip.

And break apart.
Feel your soul try to find itself.

I'm sliding down,
Hard.

I can't fight this hill anymore.

I try to tell them but,
They choose to ignore.

I could scream for help and still,
be alone.

When it kills me,
When I'm dead,

They'll be glad it wasn't them.

Playing with needles,
And body altering chemicals.

Trying to feel something real.

Pushing the boundaries of life,
And happiness.

This is how you accept yourself.

This is how you killed yourself.

You ****** me,
In my parked car,

And then,
Wanted to disappear.

So you did.




So did I.

An earthquake hit my island home,
Separating it in two pieces.

Drifting me out to sea.

Creating space I cannot swim accross,
In the middle of you,
And me.

The sun is beating down,
Your island has all the trees.

My skin is crawling, hot.
The ocean is blinding,
I cannot see.

I dig into the sand to hide,
From the pain of being me.

But when the night falls,
I can count every single star.
Because I do not sleep.

I can see the treeline,
Of the island that was,
Yours and mine.

I know you are there,
And I want to speak.

But I cannot scream past this,
Distance,
That separates you from me.

But you could build the raft,
You were always stronger,
Able to keep your head above water.

I must build a new home here,
Because I know that I am alone here.
I will always be alone here.

You don't reach out past your fear.

I pretend to move on.
I pretend,
That it's easy to start over,
Again.

I put my stuff in boxes.
And it's,
Onto the next big thing.

I am sick of cardboard.
I am sick,
Sick,
Of carboard.

The sad girl has control,
Her breathing, her eating,
The sad girl maintains control.

The sad girl does not have control,
Her breathing, her eating,
The sad girl loses control.

The sad girl counts to 500.
Seconds, calories.
The sad girl does not gain control.

The sad girl hates herself.

The sad girl becomes the mad girl.
The mad girl burns down the world.