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Alexis Martin Nov 2012
I haven't been able to write much lately
and I think it is because
for the first time in a long time
I have no sadness
-
Alexis Martin Nov 2012
I think I have some kind of energy
or gravitational pull
It fuels people
and attracts them to me.
I don't understand it
because I want to be
as far away from myself
as humanly possible.
But someone once told me
that I am not really a human at all
I believed her.
Alexis Martin Nov 2012
I hear your heart beating
from across the room
your asthma is so cute
when it is trying to **** you
-
Sink your teeth into me
****** fixated on my flesh
salt lingers on your tongue
here comes the chemical reaction
Alexis Martin Nov 2012
All I wanted was to go to the beach
to smell the fresh salt air
feel the sand between my toes
I had you in my arms
I had you in my arms
But the ocean was a building
and the sand was a series of hallways
Before I knew it, I was back at the hospital
needles and machines poking and prodding
Doctors and nurses shouting and running
like the mindless drones I know them to be
But still,
I had you in my arms
I had you in my arms
You were the only one
who believed in me
when I said I didn't want to die
You were the only one.

-

Nothing like a good ol' fashioned nightmare
to rattle your spirits and twist your stomach
Alexis Martin Nov 2012
I walked into the room
he said he liked my hair
I thought he was lying
He wasn't.
I sang a song to myself
he said he liked my voice
I thought he was lying
He wasn't.
I had a staring contest
he said he liked my eyes
I thought he was lying
He wasn't.
I let him kiss my lips
he said he liked me
I thought he was lying
He wasn't.
Alexis Martin Nov 2012
I'm starting to feel again
it's like a waking limb
almost fully numb
almost fully conscious
-
Alexis Martin Nov 2012
Night after night
you find a way
to get under my skin
      I have not a single ounce
      of love to give you anymore
      it has been replaced with hatred
           You don't necessarily deserve
            what I have put you through
            but you reap what you sow, *****
                I never expected you to be more
                than what you were capable of being
                apparently that was asking too much
                     So here I sit and write
                     to the man I thought I loved
                     who turns out to be nothing more
                                     than a boy
                                      a coward
                                      a phony
                                            -
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