Mirror, mirror
on the wall.
You show me
too much skin
too many flaws.

Naked.
Inside and out.
(all out)
Exposed.
Good and bad.
(all bad)
Revealed.
Triumphs and defeats.
(all defeats)

I want to cover up.
Wrap myself in strength,
In light.
Crack open the shutters,
the sun cascades onto me
Illuminates my pigments.
And in this moment,
this moment of bliss,
I feel
beautiful,
infinite.
Why can't everything be this perfect?

Then,
the moment ends.
Back to reality
back to being ugly,
fleeting.
I stare intently at you, mirror.
Maybe my lifeless eyes will burn a hole
right through you.
Right back through me.


"Who am I?"

I ask you, reflection,
like you will respond with something
unpredictable.








"You are a thing of beauty"



















Mirror, who took you to be a liar?

Laying on the bed
our bodies inches apart
our minds miles apart.
Your hand brushes against mine,
sandpaper on glass.
I shudder, I hope you don't notice.
You always do.

"You're different"
If only you knew why

Your eyes hold sadness,
I avert mine.
How can I look at you anymore?
I can hardly stand to feel your touch.
Oh, how I longed to be touched.

"Are you okay, hon?"
If only I knew why

Your pet name make me nauseous.
Morning sickness?
Mourning sickness.
The death of this
love
is so
tragic...?
I guess.
Like a romantic novel?
Sure.
But,
I have never been a sucker for romance.

"Do you even love me anymore?"
If only you knew how

You were my hero(in)
Like a lost puppy,
I was a lost soul.
You found me, starving
for love.
You took me under your wing,
Under your sheets.
Oh how magical it all was.
Was.
But,
the fire is out.

"Please...answer me"
If only I knew how

Please stop begging,
you're only hurting yourself.
You look so broken.
Like a child, you stare at me
Wide eyed.
Longing for answers.
Your blues have faded to pales.
I blame myself.
How can I hurt you like this?
Oh, right
I have no heart.

"I love you"
****

I wince,
like I was just pricked with a needle.
I can't do this to you.
Besides, I am not ready to fall asleep alone
Again.
I manage to swallow my pride
and utter those four God-forsaken words.

"I love you, too..."





*I'll just fake it



for a little while longer...

Remembering.

Monday morning, the call came in.
All falls silent.
Drop to my knees.
Gasping for breath.
This can't be happening.
You can't be
gone
But you are.
You left this earth
                                    life
                  ­                        body.

                                  ­              I just miss you, that's all.

No warning, no tell-tale signs
You just up and left
It wasn't your time
How could this happen?

                                                 I just miss you, that's all.

Look up at the sky
I feel you
But I can't see you
I can't hear you.
All I see, all I hear
is the sound of people around me.
Everyone's sobs clash into one
We are one broken heart,
trying to remember how to beat.

                                                   I just miss you, that's all.

The stars shine even brighter
You gave them your light.
You will always be our light.
The rush of this wind
is sending shivers up my spine.
My spine...
I seemed to have lost it when I lost you.
Please help me find it again.
Please help me find you again.

                                                  I just miss you, that's all.

"Stay strong, strong for everyone else"
That is all I keep hearing
What do they know?
Are they not feeling this, too?
This emptiness that you have left.
But how can I blame you
Who the hell can I blame?

                                                  I just miss you, that's all.

I am selfish.
I want you back.
We all want you back.
Aren't we all selfish?
No, God is selfish.
He took you, took you for himself.
But who can blame Him?
I would take you, too, if I could.

                                                     I just miss you, that's all.

Standing on my own two feet
Never presented such a challenge.
Help me stand tall again.
Stiffen my bottom lip.
Nothing seems to function like it used to
You took my strength with you.
Why would you do that?
I know you didn't mean to.

                                                    I just miss you, that's all.

I want to see you again.
Want to smile again.
Want to feel again.
Want to believe again.
You are so far away
In the atmosphere.
You are so close
In the air that fills my lungs.
Breathe in, breathe out
Consume me.

                                                            ­**I miss you.

Get me out
out of this skin
out of these bones
out of this mind
out of this soul.

I need out
out of this place
out of these walls
out of this circle
out of this all.

I need to feel
feel alive
feel loved
feel wanted
feel you.

Make me feel
feel warmth
feel serenity
feel something
feel anything.

Show me a spark
a spark of hope
a spark of light
a spark of joy
a spark of life.

Give me a spark
a spark of trust
a spark of wisdom
a spark of strength
a spark of passion.



Wrap me in your love, surround me in your light.
Pull me out of this darkness, help me win this fight.
I can not do this alone anymore.
I surrender, I surrender.