2 addicts in conversation

I've always said the act of love itself from unrequited to world wind is a drug that claims more addicts than all narcotics combine. From the rush to the withdrawals. tears and anticipation to the eruption of having it taken from you. This love drug leaves you a fiend even if you've never participated in its consumption, you pursue, hunt, track and lose your mind for the slimmest of chance in its acquisitions.
Let's take a hit together now and forever. As friends, lovers, partners, and unify.
I feel you! I hear you! Where siblings of the same needle in its lust and retrieval.
-xin-

5 W's Of The Desert Walker.

WHAT does a man in the heat dream of?
Maybe he dreams of the sweet taste of the rain
What amenities does he seek in a bare sky with only the sun?
He is given an audience with his delusions.
He is granted a moment of peace under his imaginary palm.
He can swim in the dry waters of the oasis till the sand shreds his skin.

WHEN does his vagrant breath retreat?
Maybe as the expired adventure turns to torture?
In a blink his shade diminishes
His view of the horizon brings drought to his tongue
As his fatigue pays homage to the expanding desert.

WHERE does a lost traveler turn when every direction leads nowhere?
Does he look up for divinity?
A panicked man, with his hands to the skies, calls for relief.
But its not the cool he's expecting, its mercy for his soul when his time comes.

WHO does he hear when his eyes begin to fail?
Family, a child, maybe a lover with soft flesh?
Face down in the dunes he can taste the salty blend of the earth.
The voice of his cherished love echoes in his fading consciousness.
A great comfort in his last request.

WHY do we fall down?
Because we're weak and unbalanced.
So we can get back up?
No sometimes we are just not as big as our ego would have us believe.
The road to triumph can be hard to traverse unprepared.
But the value of the experience can be as priceless as the outcome.

-Alexis J. Meighan-

A dads uniform
                          (Now my own)


           On any given day I saw the many faces of a man.
I watch him play his roles like they were well rehearsed scenes.
He was a star in his own actions, drama, thrillers and romance.

         He wore his soldiers uniform on sunday, torn jeans, white T-shirt with no sleeves and abrasions and scrapes gave stripes to his big arms.
He had oil on his hands and grease on his chin, barking orders as he worked on the car.
" Hand me that 3/4 standard and torque it to the 5th notch"
"What!? What the **** language was that?" I thought to myself as I awkwardly reached for the 1st thing my eyes spotted and held it up.
"That's a hammer Alex!" He said shaking his head as he smiled and walked toward me. He rarely had a disappointing tone. Later he explain the workings of a standard torque wrench Vs a metric wrench with converter. 10 years later I used that wrench to change my Edelbrock Electronic Carburetor 400 series twin stoker all by myself.

    I once saw him defend his honor. That day he wore  his heroes uniform as he leaped from person to person striking, grabbing, kicking, and throwing the 3 large men who underestimated his ferociousness. His tank top was ****** from the wound on his nose. His hat fell to the dirt next to the beaten, unconscious, and humiliated foes that once stood before him.
I could see that he intended to continue his lesson in respect but as he glanced over to see my wide open mouth and unmoved stare he quickly contained his aggression. He picked up his hat and shook it a few time to knock the dirt off. In that moment was another unexpected act. He help the worst of the men to a sitting position and asked him if he was ok. He was genuine in his concern that he may have been excessive in his judgment.
Later that night he explain to me that violence should never be the 1st choice for a solution and our actions should reflect the person we want people to see.
I would remember this 15 years later when sitting with the man I just choked unconscious, letting him drink my gatorade and catch his breath moments after he attempted to robbed me at knife point. In that few minutes I learned his life story. My friends said my actions were foolish.

            Duct tape and crazy glue are the tools of every street born medic.
T-shirt gauzes and boiled stones often made his grace when he wore his First aid uniform.
      
        As a kid I did DUMB very well, from gun powder soup, to a game of dart board hands. One of the more gruesome moments was my apple cutting malfunction. I severed my finger at the base pretty good. I cut right through the knuckle at the base of the index finger. It was the 1st time I fainted. Its still a debate weather it was the loss of blood or sight of it. Like a seasoned veteran he jumped into action. While most doctors would  use a coagulant like Lanxess, iodine and 22 gauge suture for this injury but not this man. He opted for all purpose flour, beer and duct tape to disinfect and seal the wound. Even though it was 3 hours before the emergency room would clean and repair the damage, I didn't shed another drop of blood while his homemade fix was in place.
I learned a lot of (what his friends called Ni**a rigging) first aid tips from him.
12 years later, while on a training exercise with  my CCC group in the forrest, a grade worker suffered a compound fracture from a slip and fall while hiking. I used a heated licorice root as antiseptic and 2 flat rock, my shoe in soles and a belt to mend and set his arm well enough to hike 2 miles back through the trail till we found help.

          When I write my poetry I never know what it is people see or interpret from it. I know the workings of romance and I know the power of its application. The day he wore his Casanova uniform I witnessed 1st hand the great reward a little effort can bring 2 people in love.
         On a normal day in the park us kids ran around yelling and screaming while him and mom sat on the grass watching us play. In the moments of a physical dilemma I sat next to him to catch my breath as he talk to her about random things. I knew my presence was interfering with whatever moment him and my mom were having but I was too intrigued by the task he was performing on the side to care.
On the reverse of a box top he drew a picture of a monkey sitting on a tree in the middle of the water. It was handing a flower to a mermaid sitting on a rock. I never forgot the joy on my moms face when he handed it to her and said "this is us."
I saw that picture everyday displayed on her mirror. Here I am 25 years later looking at my own art and words displayed across the walls of my home. My wife often looks at her description in the words and her name in the titles. Our own son invades our personal space as we sneak kisses and exchange affection through his predictable intrusions.

        My own uniforms hang in my closet waiting for interpretation from onlookers.
Suit up and be seen, or close your eyes and remember his many suits. Your in my thoughts. I hope this finds its way to you.
        Love
              -Alex J Meighan-

I draw closer to her silhouette in the distance,
After being gone for so long,
all I can think of is
"How strong are her arms?" As I melt into their grasp
Her floral fragrance tells me
"I am home at last"

I'm in the hallway
Looking for my lil woman
I want to sneak up from behind
And bury my face in her smile
I want to run my hands softly on her cheek
While small blonde hairs, adhere, to my nose peak

Ego, Esteem, Pride and presence
All pacified with a flutter of her eyes
As she spoke to my soul
"Mmm baby that feels so good. I'm glad your home."
I steal a kiss, then another
Are lips become wet pressed together
I mumble in the moment
to acknowledge her sentiment.

Its like melting into each other
That is, the 1st hellos after a long pardon
When our eyes lock in awkward fashion
The truth reveals itself and we can't control the wealth
As rich as our desires seem to be
Insatiable like toys under the christmas tree
As she inhaled all that I've dealt passionately

I'm missing her every move when she's gone
I'm kissing her every mood when she's home.
I often embrace her heels and rub the stress away
While sneaking nibbles of her soul through her toes
When we comfort our aches and woes
I use her waist and pull her closer
Enough distance, and whispers become outburst
As our conversations become more complex
And our stance and demeanor reflect
our position on the compromise
so both of our point of views lay satisfied.

The road looks long
Its ahead and discouraging without a kiss
Almost enough to stop mid thought on a warm
Day like the one........

- Alexis J. Meighan-

Alter Ego

Conception:

There a place I found
I go once in a while to be lost
A place where no one comes around

I sit on the grass and seal my fate
Accept the verdict I've given myself
I sit on the grass and wait

Denial:

There's a song that I sing that requires a grin
A cheerful expression that I imitate
Its melody uplift and warmth with in

There's a song that I sing that requires a skip
This jolly reprise implies my persona
Equivical as it leaves my lips

Sullen:

There's a person I call to ruin the mood
I unveil my dimension and hope they follow
Smothering the concern with poison food

There's a person I call to darken their gleam
I unload my woes lash out and violate them
Then in turn relieve and ascend my own esteem

Crash:

There's a switch that I hit to make the room go dark
A lonely corner awaits my demise
I choose this cavern to tear me apart

There's a switch that I smash to remove all presence
Deleting the criticism that I'm so use to hearing
The sound of my own voice can be so depressing

I doubt the words on the page, correctly portrays, the images of the hand that wrote them.

Silent lips
Deaf ears, and
Blind eyes are
The merit of the creator as
He namelessly transmits his
Inner thoughts to his outer audience

My pen does not move for your applause
It moves for your focus
The thought pattern in this movement
Is more, and less, of my faceless existence

I can listen to what you want me to hear
But that doesn't mean that I am there, for that reason

I am a giver of many words and
A taker of many woes
I promise I could never fit a profile

The words I write are chameleon
They change to what you believe they say
The body I possess is chameleon
It changes to fit whatever pleasures you extract

No matter the length of time you stare
No matter how close you get
You will never find me.
XIN

An X-ray  of ******* love

They were so soft.
The hands that took control and made the pace
Of the heart that race
Within the mess of a chest
That bravado expels

It was so open.
That mind that reduced his fears Induced tears
Used to indulged his idol chatter
Hitting my wordy pitches
Like a home run "Hey Batter Batter!!"

It felt so right
The places that exposed his **** faces
Things that spread, squeezed, and joy in **** tasting
An inserted pleasure burrowed deep from throat to waisted
Passed out drunk on love lust and **** filled vases

The peak was so brilliant
Joy ride till they collide out of control out of their minds
Writing vandalism like an equations broadside
"E=U & I" , could hate you in this day and time
But starve till withered away the day she ever said goodbye

The splash was so divine
Touched by her personal heaven
An angel as lucky like the # 11
He could never pretend or fake being insatiable.
The main source of his complexity

The view was so vast
A world of flat boring land waiting to be filled
Brought to life by their skills and the pursuit of a thrill
Would feel beheaded if ever they stood still
Feeding their frenzy and bending alls will (to their own)

The potency was such a rush
Too much oh so much, but oh so desired
Craving how much she'd  say " it's you I admire"
Toiling with brow to his navel, igniting the fire
The long kiss goodnight, made the morning quench of the sun a joy to the heart like her sweet face and loving
The monument by which praise and parade of her exploited flesh bare the quill to write paradise that he is inspired

The dream is much too real
While they watch the world turn and the masses conform
We struggle against the tide and tread the waves of the pass they morn
A lottery, marathon, playground, where many have entered her but only one can win the title of "Adored"

The now is not so much of then
They were them sometimes Every now and again engaged in moments when
Them they see and believe "you and me can be...."

But time sprints, and they limp, slower every aging step
Till times out of view and they're  out of breath
Bed bound but not the expected intent
For one is most attentive while the other lay mostly spent
But embraced they lay unchanged in any way
Still in love and still insane
Crazy for each others bane
Awake for the moon, and snooze through the rain
Gentle dreams of forbidden entry, daily flirt but never stray
Away, stay, away, plead for a day. Agreed then rinse, repeat
A treat for the sweet thoughts of the "use to be" but enjoyable right here, right now, someday is today

-Xin-

Holding the apple of Eden

What if the apple of Eden had a label?

What if the user indication had included a health warning to the 14th century Europeans?

What if the apple of Eden was clearly marked
"HAZARDOUS FOR ETERNITY IF CONSUMED"
And even though it is the purest of organically grown

What if you would have known,
That the man who proclaimed "I have a dream" would catch a bullet with his face:
Jim jones would allure a thousand to their death, hundreds of babies in Jonesville
London would burn
Solomon's tower would crumble as the wall of Jericho did
Chained slaves would be thrown over board
Tutankhamin would have his head split at the age of 13
The twin towers?

What if fair label practices forced it to divulge:
Pass-over inevitable
Holocaust to be expected
Possible genocide
Surgeons general warning: ALL ALIVE WILL DIE

What if it were you, my wife, who reached out your hand and held the devine fruit to feast upon?

I'd be 1st to bite.

    -Alexis J Meighan-

Back to Sunday

With a wince, eyes widen,
There is pain, and wonder
as my brain makes sense of the moment
The unmistakable odor of love making
Burrows into my face
Strong from the night, or maybe just a few hours before
Eyes are adjusted able to glance
The sun plays peekaboo through the blinds
As naked flesh and old ink it highlights
A view from the side as you sleep
I adjust for a closer look rolling toward you
Only to find my arm trapped beneath your nape
So I drape my self around your person's
Hoping to be set free but instead my lips meet
The sweet taste of the skin on your arms
Accidently setting off the soothing grind
Of your **** against parts of mine
Causing growth which
Causes poke which
Causes groan and your hands to *****
Causes memory to refresh that it was the night before
Repeating motions practiced routinely
Just slower
More tender
More indulged like it were to be the last time.
Sunday morning has given us its blessing to begin our day
Though the week continues
We toil, stress, and become a wreck
But we know
We can always go back to Sunday

          Love always
              -Alexis-

Bad Poet

***** words
Naughty words
Bad spelling
Grammar like diesel fuel spilling from a rusty ship

      .Period; semi something *astrik and the word ****
Sometimes I curse just to make a sentence worse
Make love and make references to it, now watch the flowers die.  so many lines in there context make truth, argue then make-up and make love once more, keep it to my self, and watch the flowers bloom. I don't even know what ****- §- is.

Bad poet
Sleepless words
Lower case nouns
Then there's this thing §, what is that?

       I love the sound of my own voice? No not really. Though I love to read my own words. Follow them with my fingers and trace their outlines like they were your naked body, hoping the words grant the same feelings as your flesh. The feel of your skin and innocent smile is like a blank page waiting to be defaced.

Bad Poet
Poor choices
Stained paper
Even as the pen dances on the lines in jest its heart is pure in its passion and love for both the words and you.

Bad Poet
               -Xin-

I fought everyday to remain of worth
Seen friends grow wary and fade to after thoughts
I changed from hungry to content
Moved from barely to abundant

All while searching for what was right in front of me
Realized, when You and I became We

I use to take for granted all I was granted
Thought pain and bitter was my only flavor
I went from a slow stride to a sprint
Moved forward and never looked back since

All while overlooking the strength in me
Trained and emerging, when You and I became We

I kept bathing in the blues
washing my conscience expecting the solitude
I went from resent,to respect and virtue
Opened my heart, then made room for you

Swept by your love, the wind,sand and sea
Forever in your favor, when You and I became We.

CONCEPTION ADORE

Love from two conceived then born
Nurtured and adorned
Raised and cared for
Nestled close to the heart
Embraced by two
Given the tools to achieve and succeed
With loves first breath, in it we believe
Parenting this love, protecting this love
Watching it blossom and grow
We age with this love
Feel rage with this love
Turn gray with this love
Then pass away, yet it remains
Love between two souls
Remembered by those here today
Some days we may be led astray
Those distractions a necessity for us to evolve
Problems in the cradle we resolve
Under a watch full eye
Conflicts are dissolved
Loyal to where we stand
Son of a soldier, son of a man
Defender of my beloved woman
-Alexis-

Cradle You

Safe, weak, vulnerable, all the things I feel when you
Place your hand upon my chest.
Your cold soft hands lead by your big warm smile
It reminds me how it feels when it's mended.
Play with me, then lay with me and use it to cradle your head while you rest.
With my arm around you, I want you to feel safe, weak, vulnerable, but knowing
The worst of it, like the day, has ended.
-Alexis-

Dreaming in the dream (Broken inception)

-Alexis J. Meighan-
11-12-2013 10:45:45pm

I could try.... Exhale
I could sigh
Read the menu, make my choice
Clear and simple tone in my voice
I make the healthy decision.
The one all the world says work best.
The one the waiter recommended, **** near on knees bent

But yet there's an error on the dish I receive. "That's not what I ordered"
I double checked my choice and even went along with the spectators cohesion, and ample coercing.

"I ordered what you suggested, to be your best
and
Yet I am wrong for being wronged by the establishment's
I need to see your management. This plate of food is an embarrassment
And most of all not what you said I would get"

I ask my mates around the table, a bowl of this is what you praised, yet a plate of Bul+#!t is what she gave
How can you say it is what it is not
When we all want the same dish BUT
Different is what I got and you say its all the same and I assure you madam it is not

Then I am made out to be insane. Patronized!
I am told "we are aware that you believe that you are
entitled to what you claim"
Though the table and server don't feel the same.
I should keep asking for that in-correct entree(They say)

I Demand a bowl of that
Waitress then replies
"yes sir I will obliged"
She returns with plate of this
Again enraged I explain again and again
"That not the F#€@ng bowl of fiddles you keep insisting when I maintain my choice from menu is undermined and obscured with plates of bull$#+t now I want out of this place"

I stand and scowl at all around
throw my napkin on the ground
i can't believe this waitress audacity to mock my effort and good intent
with her insisting insults that my brain lacks presence.
Like I don't know what I want and how to ask.
Exiting the building I look back and I ask
"Are you people all crazy?"
Everyone makes eyes contact to my brow, all wearing mask that resembles cats.

They begin to clap and whistle. And in unison chant
"You can't win, you can't win, you can't win, YOU CAN'T WIN"
I cover my ears and close my eyes then it all stops and to my surprise,
I fix my stare to where I had disappeared to.... Like a dream I am woken in confusion ear to phone,
hearing the unrecognizable babble from a voice in my home.
Then a click, dial tone, a beep as I touch the green button, I raw rush of pain postponed, as it (the sensation) passes,
the calm, the rational, the point where I am aware, that I am alone in thinking I've grown, destitute in comparison to the riches of the idealistic child I saw playing peekaboo with his scars in the mirror,
when now there is always doubt on how we proceed and believe. The doubt that my dreams and my reality, altered state or sober receiving the wrong plate, can it ever get along. always somber from the vast knowledge, always knowing more than I let on.

A good title for a sandy beach, sunset and drum stick, kind of song.

......Xin

Ever seen
Ever been
Ever played for a team
Ever day dream
Ever stall
Ever fall
Ever fail
Ever bawl
Ever believe
Ever dream
Ever seen the edge
Ever jump
You will if you've
Ever light a candle and leave the door unlocked
Ever ascend with the one you lay with
Ever lay with the one you play with
Ever play your song for the one you dream of
You won't if you've
Never jump
Never seen the edge
Never dream
Never believe
Never bawl
Never fail
Never fall
Never stall
Never day dream
Never played for a team
Never been
Never seen

       -Alexis J. Meighan-
                  &
                -Xin-

Sometimes they soar
with out leaving the ground
Hold back pain and tears
even when no ones around
They always seemed super human
even when standing still
Some even reach the top
Even when life stole their will
Often there absence
But for some replace by a perfect model
Some became legendary
While others sank to the bottom
Who ever you are dad, father, or role model
Keep it up For the rest that aren't there
Well there's always next year

Xin & Alexis

Food for thought
 
My wife’s voice projected as I came through the door. “You’re just in time for dinner.” The last few weeks I’ve been at the gym hoping to regain the luster I once had when being viewed through her beautiful green eyes. I noticed an envelope on the counter from Esquire magazine. I wondered if it was a Winners Notice or a big “Thanks for the effort but maybe next time,” type of deals. Guess it’s time to find out.
 
                                                          ­                                                      -Alexis J. Meighan-

FRIENDS

They were gone to us

Left the impression that the horizon was home

They spoke so highly of us

As is the sunshine were beneath our prints and we lit the path behind us

They held on to our glory like a child to its pillow in a thunder storm

Told of our greatness and bragged of our fellow ship

They took satisfaction in our attempts and celebrated our success

They never new impatience for we were worth the wait

Never felt dissatisfied cause we please in many way

We only showed nerve when defending there honor

And we honored there loyalty by never being too far away

-Alexis J. Meighan-

He gives life
At that instant he takes your innocence
Born into sin
He gives hope
And in return takes away your faith in humanity
They say your born free
He gave us the power of choice
But takes our ability to deal with Its consequences
Gives us the love
Allowing he or she to take our breath away
Then give us the strain and tribulations
While taking our patience and tolerance
Yet our trust he demand
He gives us strength and confidence
All while stealing our youth
And leaving a bigger number at the end of every year
What good is wisdom if its carrying the baggage of age
What good is ambition if the goal is leaves you crippled
He gives us challenges that inevitably take our humility
He gives us beauty and talent
And in an instant takes our hair, teeth, and skin
But leaves us with wrinkles and bad posture and the hope to remain relevant
He gives us vanity and punish us the above mentioned
Gives us dream and sleepless nights
Let's us take chances but what is chance in a predestined existence?
Though we create art, music, literature, and monuments
He takes credit for its inspiration and crumbles what isn't in his tribute
Give homage or else
And no true artist is never prime unless there gone and buried
He gives  mercy in the form ******
And his miracle usually means escaping his wrath
Guess I'm ******* Hudini in his eyes
He gave us the vastness of the universe to gaze and only gave us a grain of sand to inhabit on his cosmic infinite beach
  Gives you a soul and let's you promise it to someone you love then betray that promise repeatedly by demanding its salvation in the end
Give you the end too soon after the beginning fades away
Takes advantage of your ego and feeds it temptation
Gives you indulgence to punish your self with
Then when all life concludes leaves you and your loved ones with what you were the day before your inception and the day after death
Nothing
So what is it you want me to praise you for?
Guess we'll discuss it if you ever catch us.
-XIN-

GOOD MORNING AT MIDNIGHT

Easily aroused at the noon of night, time to say good morning in that special way
So many sounds, and to my point of view the mood is right for those things that I
shouldn't do but do anyway

What should I do to convey to you
That there is a primal need to feed this brew
Of lust and untamed general excuses, the make believe, and urgencies
all to get next to you

"Where to begin"? My thoughts are at attention
While my flesh rips from within.
I'm a slave to these waves of intimacy shackled to the seeds of my intentions

I am so captivated by your sleeping physique
So enticed by the subtle words your form brings to mind. I seek to infiltrate your mounds and depressions, your angles and impressions, and topple this fortress of pillows, covers, and sheets

Once again, "where do I begin?" I plot and divulge the scheme
Maybe the base of your stance, the arch of your feet? A firm grip to squeeze and massage away
The pain of your daily stride. Equal care for every soft colored nail, and each one kissed admired and dismissed. I can tell your skin is impressed by this

Oh where can this moment lead? I trail of to the rear of your knees
Oil soaked palms, on your warm toned calves
I kneed and *****, till that tension passes
Are you ready to announce your submission
I can hear your deep exhales from your face down position

Can you turn to greet me, face upward to receive me
Your eyes lock to mine. Even though there filled with the days exhaustion.
They shine like they arrived from the sky
Waking for the experience, "hello my love"
Relax and enjoy and let me exploit you
A few kisses and my tongue shall anoint you
While my fingers explore the very core of your erogenous ****** being

Our journey has no predetermined destination
Just the satisfaction of knowing when we arrive

This night I'm endowed with pride,
and I strive
to make you believe (that)
Every lap around your,
every tap upon your,
never stop until your,
waiting for the tide to recede.
With every breath you encourages me
As we kiss and break up (our senses)
Then collide and make up (once again)
A new dimension to an old trend (lovers)
A new connection to an old friend (you)
A new ingredient to an old blend (embrace)
A new depth to a old shallow end(******)
With that eruption I want you to receive what I send

In the after glow of your embrace I indulge in your taste
Both our flesh cooled by our sweat
Only to find heat in our relief and
The absence of our possessions and stress.
Nothing else exist when we do
No other sound can drown the song of our impromptu passion

As we agree that slumber is our next quest to embark I kiss your lips and we lock sights
A unspoken appreciation for our
Good Morning at Midnight

XIN

Sell me it
The once held dear
Trade for it
The once worn on the sleeve
Barter and haggle
What once was fortified
Hold collateral to it
Though Once it came free
But a thought first before negotiation
Just ask with honesty
Where is your heart?

-Alexis J. Meighan-

How the Universe Works
He sat in his chair, in pain, brittle, quiet. He was frowning, and grinding his teeth.
The disease crippled him.
"Dad, you ok?"
He smiled as he took his pill and chased it with a soda struggling to swallow.
"I love you son" he said grinning, with his defeated eyes
 He continued watching television, How the Universe Works.
Tomorrow came too soon.
They found him, soda in hand, with his show on pause as if the stroke was inconvenient.
 
                                                 ­                                                               -A­lexis J. Meighan-

We stood apart for so long before we ever met
Never knowing your voice, never feeling your flesh

Now I sing praise to your brilliance, and settle in your warmth

Went from maybes and ifs to our first kiss
Late night small talk to that unforgettable long walk

Will you meet me tonight? I will
Can you stay the night? I can
Will you take my hand and share my life? I do

From the 1st time I saw you, I was intoxicated
I knew this was inevitable, I spent days waiting

contemplating, negotiating
Then 1st date to soul mates

It started with you under the moon
Everyone thought it was too soon

But we knew the plan
1st kiss in the sand, 1st thoughts on love

Never took a 2nd look back
Now look what we've become

Let's runaway together? Ok
Is tonight the night we collide? I'm eager and ready
Till death do us part? I do

         -Alexis J. Meighan-

Ignored by a thought

I thought if I ignored him and
his request for spare change
his plight would fade away
And his face would fail my memory

I thought the night was differently quiet
Interrupted by clench of teeth,
****** holes and malice of man
Gun shot, pain, and the victim of a plan

I thought if I ignored the wound
The dream would change moods
The blood drop would be love knots
And the victim would be you

I thought if I ignored the flash of life
Mine would be spared
That the death to come would flee me
And instead you would be here

I thought of ignoring my persistence
And give in to the dark void
But then I thought of loving you
And fought to stay relevant

I thought of a lot of things
But never to give him the change in my pockets
Now I'm a prayer and a fading thought
Ignored by the passing crowd
A layer on the cake walk
An after note on your brow.....(Cont.)

Xin

Iknow ilove iappreciate

What I am
When I'm with you
What I see
When your around
What I eat
When you cook for us
What we can afford
When you go work your long days
What a relief I feel
When you come home
What a joy it is
When you run wild with our son
What a drain it can be
When you do so much but have to do a lil more
What a pain it can be
When your in such high demand
What a morning becomes
When you crash into me
What burdens we over come
When you plan and get the ball rolling
What a stronger man I am
When you tell me I can do it
What a home you make for us
When you do what you do
What my life would be like
I wouldn't know with out you

The scribble- aka nonsense: I always try and categorize everything into a neat package. My own make due box if you will. Weather its food, friends, life, love, pain and sorrow, it all get stowed away in a box as I try to connect them to make sense. But in the end it is, and I am (my boxes) over shadowed by it, myself. I'm a "complex creator" is the LAST thing people will know when I'm gone.
But it’s all nonsense. I'm just a control freak

The baby drinking- aka nurturing: I made him. It’s so weird. Of all the things I've painted, wrote, and sculpted or whatever this (Essek) is by far the best and last work of art I could ever create. He drinks because I thought him that his beverage is in a vessel to get he has to drink. He sleeps securely because daddy (me) will always keep him from harm.
"I'm a good father" is the LAST thing people will remember when I'm gone. But it’s all nurturing. I'm just good with instinct

My new plant- aka optimism: this flower is actually a fake. I put it in the fish bowl to try and make my fish (merlin) a little happier. Even though his brain is the size of a 6 font "O" he deserve a bit of joy in his aquatic dwelling. It’s the last lesson I can give to those that fall in a dark place. The smallest things have a big purpose
“I was always optimistic" is the LAST thing people will think when I'm gone. But I'm just courteous………………….

There’s more but its personal

I see our child when I look at you
The ocean in its eyes like mommy’s deep pretty blue
I see it smile when you glance at me
Innocent, soft and just for me
Tiny little hands that reach for everything
Like daddy when mommy is close and his heart start to sing
I dream of our child with the best of our traits
My desires and strength, passion loyalty, honor and obedience
Your ambitions and dedication
Brains, grace, beauty, organization, tolerance and adoration
I feel our child when I touch you
Its warmth and soul as I love you
When I embrace you, I embrace it
And when I praise you, I praise it too
I see our child when I look at you
What do you see?
When you look at me?

Alexis J Meighan

Its just ink.

Though I lay it down
They say I lay it down
From the depth of my inner
To the facade of my smile
Matters not if in the end its just ink

From the thick of its grip
No gripe that it fits
Its said I laid it down
God knows I ache from its motion
But crushed I am that in the end its just ink

I think of all the glamour
Inhale every scent she wears
Tear apart my heart to get the darkest crimson
Mix it in the well, they say I's lays it down
Brand it in my skin. But to her its just ink

Its a link, a moment of some progress
The greatest of our progress.
She said I laid it down, but we both shared the  crown
And though just a granule on the shore
An annual creed of "Adore", not sure
Why its just ink

We watched the moon sink behind violent waters
Every night from the window, broken clouds soar with loud hues of pink and purple
Not every moment is a high hurdle to scale, its why the pen sets sail,ill will, I lay that down
Good moments are grand ones, so why those ascribed only known as just ink?

Just think.
A past where ballads were written on the battle fields
Pledge our allegiance now to a flag that waved under duress
Love stands grander a chance by that test
A scream is like cannons while a tear is like bullets
Hit the page and leave holes. I bared arms now I lay them down. These wounds no longer just ink.

-Xin-

Knock knock
Who's there?
Mr.Harris
Mr. Harris who?


Mr. Harris whom lead women with elegance
Tied minds and hearts with verbal excrement
Pondered their looks as well as their flesh
Decided to touch which lead to a mess
For his brain and hands were shaky at best
Floundered around inside of their chest
Slicing and skinned the meat of the breast
The last thing they saw as they took their last breath
An extreme way to deal with life and its stress
Just a mad insane killer you couldn't reject.
Harris is the  man who is there at your door
Knock Knock! Who's there?  Not you any more.
Mr. Harris with blood on his shoes
Mr. Harass you that's who!
Love.
-Xin-

Jessica;
Behind close doors he was a cruel brute.
In the public view he smiled and spoke soft
Laid the trap with a simple hello.
Sprung it with a slash
Took his trophies and placed it in his stash
Tonight he stalk a petite country gal
A texan tone and expecting child
Brunette, fair skin and smile you could eat
Perky, quirky with dainty hands and feet
He sat in her car and stakeout her yard
Sneaked in her house while she bath and smelled her towels.
She was a standing appointment on his to do calendar
For 3 months he pondered how to handle her
Caress her flesh and kiss her toes
Asphyxiate! Hand over her mouth and pinch her nose.
Or
Suckle her perfect breast, brush her hair with short strokes
Look into her wide eyes, face to face, then slit her throat
She passed him on the train and he became,
Paralyzed by her fragrance, almost ashamed.
It became obvious, now that her baby bump showed
He had to **** her fast before it grew any more
And like that 9pm drew near and on his table she appeared.
She begged for her life but he didn't care "please I'm pregnant" I said I don't care
He chose option one for his method of ******
Soft and polite until life ignored her.
Now all left to do is to savor the taste of her essence
Then into the river and on to the next lesson
She was Jessica.
-Mr H.-


Bridgette:
This night his head ached, he sipped wine and ate
Clenched his brow and grunted and tried to concentrate
This night his heart ailed for a particular face
Some one he knew from a particular place
Blonde hair, tattooed skin and frequent bizarre encounters
A spunky one she was, always on an adventure
She constantly moved which made it a task to learn her
But he was persistent and eventually impaled her.
5 years he tracked her with laid roots just to leave again
He even befriended her friends. But nothing came through them
With every new home she kept, and new ink she bared.
He would be right there sharing her air.
A secret adoration, a crush, a unrequited love
He would scale walls to procure her safety and guard her till she was his alone.
Outside her window snapping photos and collecting her things
Setting coincidences and craving her limbs
He's sneaked in one night and restrained her to the bed
Counting her ink from her honey *** to the kissing undead.
Rubbing her hour glass and slicing through her haunted castle
Penetrating her clover and stabbing her dracula.
For she was his best creation.
He mourned as her flesh he torn
When it was all said and done every tattoo was massacred
Her body of work now a body of hurt
Bled out at the hands that knew her the most
From a distance so close from a distance so close
She was Bridgette
-Mr. H-

Jen:
She was so much more than a craving
More than a friend.
Its by accident that she met her end.  
They shared a bed, shared a home, shared there love
Now they share his secrets, but not her tomb
She stumbled on his collection of trinkets
And he confessed all thinking their bond and life together would lead to an exception
Shame on him, as to his surprise she screamed and grabbed a weapon
"who are you" she yell and ran to the door.
He screamed in response "I don't know but don't go"
Frantic she struggled with the door lock
Panicked he hit her face with the cutting block
Oops
She fell
So did his heart down his throat
This was his partner, his lover, his other half
In every day before his reason for life, his only plan
No way to recover this act of passion so he finished the job.  
Crying and kissing her asian lips
Squeezing her neck till she was gone gone gone.
She was Jen
-Mr. H-

Kaylani:
As he progressed and perfected his method
He broadened his pallet and obsessed on this venison
He heard her words sent men to their knees
Both in praise of her power and to lap at her Mahogany
She was clever and sharp like his finest cleaver
Voluminous in her cleavage, firm in her actions like a verb, Poison to her distractions
For him it was her words that overwhelmed his desires
Call to arms, yell to god,do my bidding and "I promise I'll be yours"
She wrote poems like he did, spoke truth like he do
Broke hearts like he could, and swept the world away like he should
He sent her a poem she accepted with joy
Blew her mind with crafts he assembled like schemes, plots, and ploys
She gave him a secret, he gave her a line
She confessed her emotions, he confessed a lie
She showed him her body, he shrugged and denied
She caved and gave more, he enslaved her with compliments, task and more endeavors
She wanted him so bad that for the first time she fell to her knees
He arose from his own. Succeed indeed
He gave her one night, yes one night
8 years of famine, for only one night
He kissed, massage, fingered and caressed
Demanded her mouth as he got undressed
His contact was of malice and encounter of a deranged mind
An anomaly of his needs, a poetic way to propel her demise
He entered her slow made her safe in his glow
Then with a wicked grin the nightmare did begin
He took control, pinned her down, put big things in small spaces
Made her a scream queen with no crown as he laughed and mocked her desperate faces
A little cut here and a little punch there he accepted her fear
On the night stand he had a special potion
A blend of deadly poison
Told her it would end once she breath no more
"Its your choice my dear" then made her scream some more
He took a break said he'll be back
Went to the kitchen to get a snack
"When I come back we'll start again"
Upon his return he gazed the beaten, ****** goddess
She drank her escape route, now she is lifeless
She was Kaylani
-Mr. H-

LATE NIGHT ON A DATE NIGHT


Its cold in the sand
There's salt in the air
Our lips collide
As we watch the night sky
Embracing tight as the
Ocean sings us its lullaby

This is where it all began
Late night on a date night

We are lovers in a room
Discovering each others flesh
Playing games as we hear the rain
Unwrapping your lace
Like a gift in a foreign place

This is where we lost control
Late night on a date night

An April day has arrived
The nights before has made us close
I see your form as you disrobe
Who would of known
Tonight we create life

This is where we made a miracle
Late night on a date night

Your showing our seed
I'm showing a smile
We both glow and sip our wine
Your day, a birthday, I ask if we should
The next day you say yes you would
Your so beautiful as I take you

This is where we joined our souls
Late night on a date night

The sounds, the people,
My heart racing as you make your approach
Your beauty, and smile, your wedding gown
I watch you get closer,
Kissing the bride as we seal our vows
A long road from then till now

This is where we try and make more
Late nights on a date night.

-Alexis J. Meighan-

Lets Converse

You thrive on the light because
You know that you make the skies darker
You impale the world with your touch
Disfiguring a man with the slightest glance
I challenge your heart to discourage me because
I recognize your brilliance
I can see you can trample egos
By now you should know my persistence
You tell me who you are
This is more than the genders desire
I am buffoon by my own urges
But I must let you know what I see
I see you eyes as they stand out of a silhouette of passion,
A very piercing stare
Your footprints compare to that of your lips,
Much like the petals of a rose you might kiss
I watch you; to a man you might cause the world to spin
But I stand tall in the crowd with my arms raised,” you win”
Because you bring the quenching that would smother the sun,
You’re something of an obscured revelation.

-Alexis J Meighan-

LIMBO
There is a perch above the earth,
That some reside
Not quite as high as the sunrise
But just beneath the cool of the night sky
I deny that I feel envy to those above I
But I do imply that my mind sometimes
Fantasize of tippy toed extensions
Squinting eyes and hands high to the heavens as
I grasp at the precipice thrilled at the benefits
That awaits an individual such as me
A monumental moment most men may miss
Due to the maleficent molded macho make
Of there guarded guile jilted while stilted
Elevation of ones own ego
But we know it’s a heavy task
To wear that mask when
Peaking up at that perch
Only makes your neck hurt
But the toll to reach that elevated road
Is as simple as letting her know
You’d rather be home
Just you two alone
Two heads on one pillow
Curtains drawn and windows closed
Night till dawn with flesh exposed
Just three words to let her know
“Ascend with me”
Then of you’ll go
And that my love, is the space above
Atop the night but below the sun
That I seek to reach once you get home
Love XIN

Lol Failure

Too much time to change your mind on the way down. Plus your scared of heights

Bandages and shoe laces stop that ****. hide it with tattoos on the wrist

Too violent, big mess, GSW fail now a vegetable and someone's burden

A lynching? Quit it! KKK gets no favors

Peace and quiet in the car, garage door closed. Then your favorite song comes on. Took too long after all. Don't you drive a prius?

Like you don't know how to swim. Sharks don't live in lakes

Nissan, lexus, most new GMC all have auto detection braking. Get back on the side walk dummy.

Too high of a tolerance you druggy and every Corner has an ER. Now your on the list with diarrhea

Police knows the world is watching they'll pepper spray before they draw now. Now your blind and got your *** whipped with a. Night stick

Honey? Bears? Really?

Circuit breakers homie! Now you have soggy toast.
Smile and shovel the pastries maybe you'll get lucky and cholesterol will stop ya.

Insensitive? Yes,but none the less,
Guess That's my LOL Failure.
-Xin-

Lingering

They fled,
They ran and those who stayed
Eventually were led away

Some gripped
Tight squeeze in belief
Faith a drink to be sipped

Some sank
Pulled under breathless
Trance like, as they drowned in relief

Pure for some
The sleep of the traitor
Logic betraying lust

While the runners run
The stayer's welcome the confusion
Perched on your shoulders--- knocking

Hoping u answer to say "hello, I miss you"

-Alexis J Meighan-

Manimal
Instinct that breaths with method
Ravage when starved and savage like its lesson
It dreams of its feast
While gorging every piece
Flavor unfulfill

XIN
(Muse furnished by "B")
Friday at 11:07pm

Pass of the hand on the cheek ever so slightly
A hand carressing petals blossomed from a rose

Gentle breath, warm and calloused, trembles the knape
The dessert wind whispering a tune of truth to the back of your mind

Sentual scent that enhance the taste of the good life
The aroma of an outstanding experience that hits the nerves like fire

With only a glance, captivated, by the idol that we behold
Unique splender, almost hypnotize, like a startled deer on the highway

Moment
Too many changes
But solutions are slow to be found
Expectations are too high for reasons
And time passes to fast to accommodate the task at hand
Should I bend the boundaries and
Plea for salvation to hurry and assist
Maybe I’ll insist to exit on my cue
That is why I call upon you
Can you guide this wonderer to an oasis?
Maybe you can point to a place where I can fish
My heart devours the loneliness of the mundane
Day to day
But in your arms to the end is where I lay
Bidding farewell to puddles on a rainy day
My lust paved the road for our emotional reward.
-Alexis J. Meighan-

Monday Blues

I wish today displayed its jealousy of tomorrow
Wish it bullied its way in and
Announced it would never leave

I wish tomorrow slumbered
And had no interest in the dawn
Wish today would slow its stride
And hide its exhaustion with a big smile

Wish tomorrow didn't come so fast
Cuz now today is its name
And today was yesterday
A moment I want to relive.

XIN

The light
Blessed by its radiant warmth
It wraps it self around my flesh
Lips are as warm as its hue
Yet as soft and the blooming petals
That say good morning
I love you

The light
runs and drips through the scene
Making its way through the seems
Finding its access to room where
I yawn and great its touch with a grunt
My own (caveman language) good morning
I love you

The light
Like the beach reaches the shores of your image
Receding and retreating as you move
Nudging you, trying
Unsuccessful to budge you
We conspire against you (the light and I)
Feel my wet tongue and sticky lips
Trailing from shoulders to your hip.
You up yet? No?
I'll  kiss you good morning some more
Open those sleepy eyes for my
"I love you"

-Alexis J Meighan-

I am keening
In lament
bewailed at this notion.
Contempt for structure, value and discipline is acceptable.
Jeremiad
A parent can't parent but would be praised for "friending" rather than tending to their child's growth.

Hippie tricksters and hipster is all the craze with new age bad zones and soft tones
Then everyone moans and claim the lack of parenting is to blame when they go columbine and spray bullets to deal with the torment.

I'm sick of the news and its pro no rules avocation
Sick of the pop trend of life is always a dead end
Sick of fly by night "let them be and hope they make it" attitudes
When a little hug and a quick "let me show you" can make our youths guide the progress rather than tear it down.

I little input is appreciated, accepted and acknowledged
But not mandatory
Be good be rewarded, be bad be without
Very self explanatory.
Those in between that goal are an obstacle not a hero
I want greatness for my child
Not mediocrity to a zero.

Parent with your experience and regulation
Not google and trending
See the end and before you begin and preempt the blind pretending.

Cuz today is not ok
When we fear tomorrow
Cuz yesterdays ways were forgotten.
From one father to the next

-Alexis J Meighan-