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alexis hill Jan 2015
And if smoking is suicide //in bite sized bits, I'm suicidal//

Loving is heartbreak in little pieces// light as paper or heavy like boulders, so I'm broken hearted//

Alcohol is consequences, a lack of judgment and mistakes in liquid form//
so I'm thoughtless//

pill are mixes of melding ideas//
in calculated formulas//
so I'm synthetic//

and I ask, what off it?//
causes hell is hell//
and life is life//

and I'm used to using//
used to abusing// so I believe// I am above this//
alexis hill Jan 2015
The issue lies not in you being gone but in the fact that you're away.
your smile and your eyes- they became transfixed in my brain and became something that one could only hope to see every time the sun brings the light of day and smiles upon the earth.

The issue lies not on the decision you made to go but in the mystery of whether you'll return. I could live without you, but what fun would it be to explore the universe and learn about one another, dance together outside if never with a partner.

The issue lies not in the few days we spent together but in the plentiful numerous seconds I got to know who you were. Every word, gesture, movement and expression resonated in my head reminding me of the day I realized I deserved something like this.

The issue lies in the fact that there is no issue after all is there?
If you're the issue, we'll find the answer.
If time is the issue, we'll watch the clock together.
If we're the issue, it's the world that is mistaken and moving on is all we can do.
alexis hill Jan 2015
I come with the whole truth
the truth and nothing but

the trials of a fighter
tribulations of a dealer
middle ground of good and bad
with no gray area

the truth is the truth
and truth is what it is
I knew when I pursued you
that I would probably
lose you

and who knew
but what else than to try
I come with the truth the truth and
nothing but

just drug stuff
lightin up in the basement
lighter fluid is the basis
all types of worry brew

I fell for you
looking into the looking glass
and your reflection just stares back
you can't hide

the good times
the truth is the truth
and the truth is what it is

and the truth is I hope you'll
return one day
but in your prison state
you might as well not be here at all
we were bound to fall

and that's the truth
and the truth is all
alexis hill Jan 2015
I didn't want to fall in love with
postage stamps
to put yourself onto paper like that
seems inaccurate.

but while I'm lonely, crying; I wanted to turn to you because you were never there to turn to
but I couldn't turn to you because you were never there.

And by there I mean here, with me, where you should have been.

I didn't want to fall in love with train tickets, holding my piece of glossy paper like the lotto.
I just won the opportunity to see you.

to lie with you in bed
be held
share a cigarette
attempt to contain the laughter.

See, when I step off that platform
and our eyes meet
I am flooded with excitement for it's Christmas and my birthday
all at once.

I am going to try, to care for you from a distance.
especially when those vast 70 miles seem to eat away

see I'll be checking the mailbox everyday, saving every paycheck to see you next.
I will wait learn to acclimate
I will learn to adjust.

And perhaps fall in love with the 70 miles that separate us.
alexis hill Jan 2015
However it begins, start off quiet
Then; it's gonna get louder
And louder.

This is how you write with power.

mix drinks, mix soul with attitude//
with empowerment
wrap it up in rhyme or rhyme it up
in rap
until it all becomes, sounds, and lives to be true.

Create persona's; flashy personalities
Political philosophies
like as if communism were the opposite of
democracy

Stop at some point in the poem-
Stop while they're jivin and movin to your words.
herd the unheard
jack lines. jack verbs.

This will give your poem
hesitation, a sense of urgency
and pause

Then of course a poem with power
contains anger

I have seen the disintegration
of dilapidated streets
gentrification

an educationally starved
third world nation

and make sure to speak with mastery of articulation
see, it's even spelt out in the constellations

making // placing sound waves upon deaf ears

Now, all you have to do
is lower your voice,
open your head
and say listen-

"This is the sound of the world changing,"

I said.
alexis hill Dec 2014
H20
what does love
feel like?

-like swimming with
eyes open.

visions a blur
but he's right
there, in the

clarity of my
treacherous waters
the pressure on my lungs//
steals my breath// away//

so I come up for air
inhale// exhale
and he's still there

still treading similar
waves// saves me the
trouble of worrying
and wondering if

I'll be out in this ocean forever,
****** in by
the riptides
of emotion

but he's still there
wading in the
fluidity of this abyss,
with me.

the currents pull
and part the seas
so much motion

yet he is there// too//
swimming with eyes
open.
alexis hill Dec 2014
If I could,
I would write
the greatest love poem
of all time

then crumple it up,
crush the crisp paper

and
       b  u  r  n
   it.

watch the fire consume
and swallow it

then let the wind
pick up the new
ashes

in hopes they
will deliver
my message
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