I've kept everything around me alive,
Without doubt or reasons why.
I meet the needs without a try,
Of living beings under my eye.
Somehow regardless of my protest,
I age and learn to apply my best.
And-
Somehow I have grown to be,
The adult that I always need.

I’m about to **** up again,
With the **** my brain likes to,
Tell my head.

Repeated insults, the memories,
I’d be dead if it,
Were up to me.

Cyclical whispers,
Pushing me.
Demanding. Me.

Offer blood to the whisperings.
Offer sleep and **** and things.
Still hungry, I hear, for the life of me.

Please do shut up,
I cannot dream.
I run in fear and wake, and scream.

So tired though I rest all night.
So tired, won’t put up the fight.
I cave, I fold, I lose, I hold,
The whispers in my,
Heavy,
Soul.

Day old drinking glass turned to an ash,
Cup,
And the week rolling by does,
Fill it up,
And,
I watch the dirt build on the floor,
Stains I see on every door,
I ignore.
Dishes fill the kitchen sink,
I do not wash,
I do not think.
I do not care to,
Clear the days mess,
I am the days mess,
I am the filth and damages.

Another cigarette to the glass,
Another ***** day has passed.

I do not want to be,
Here.
Garbage thoughts in my,
Garbage,
Mind.

There is no will to try and find.
I am the day’s waste,
I crave,
to **** time.
I aim,
To end mine.

I'm crazy, you say,
When it's convenient for you.
Use my medication,
As an excuse.

Write me off like my feelings aren't real,
Say what you want because,
You have no fear.

Who would believe someone like me?
Cutting my wrists just to see myself bleed.

"You're crazy, you're mad."

Don't make me laugh.
Being with you is what's making me sad.

A cut, a straight line.

Bloodrush, I feel fine.

One for every lie.

One for every time he said goodbye.

Bloodrush.

I feel fine.

Push it down, deeper this time.

I hide my blade for another day.

I wear long sleeves to hide the shame.

You've grown older in the eyes.
Your words suggest otherwise.

Your hand creeps across the table's edge.
This is my que to meet you.

Not again, not this time,
A mother ******* millionth time.

"Take me home," my mouth relayed.
Before this I had always stayed.

Pieces of you cling to day.

I see you in the edge of vision.

It is night when you come home to me.

Yet when you speak, I cannot listen.