Tears so warm
And thick
That you have to catch them with your tongue just to make sure you're not bleeding from your eyes.

class in 3 hours meaning I have to wake up in 2, but I woke up suddenly.
The way you do when there's a streak of lightning or rumble of thunder that catches you off guard. Well, I must've dreamt of you, because I awoke asking Is this really happening? Trying to deny the words soon as they left his mouth. Sitting there with a smile just so he wouldn't think I hated him because he knew the words were going to hurt. Him avoiding eye contact as if that'd lessen the blow. There's nothing that's changed about the way I feel about our friendship. I can't say the same. Because it's 6:02am and I had to leave the room so my roommate wouldn't wake up to me crying, blowing my nose. Just like I had to leave the room and cry in a stairwell last night. I tried reading Warsan Shire, tried listening to Jhene Aiko, I tried, but as I watch the sky looking for something, anything, there's nothing. I'm sick of nothing. I'm so sick of men reeling me in just to drop me off before we make the destination. Sick of me being someone to pass the time with. Something's wrong with me. The tear that just nipped my right ear verified that. I am no ones lover, maybe I'll never be.
I just thought he was different.

*whats wrong love? you look like you've lost your best friend...

whats wrong love? you look like you've lost your best friend...*

one of those endings that hurt because it wasn't suppose to go that way

same song different note

except

He's rare.

no one there to walk me home safely
so i linger in the darkness
my darkness
wandering aimlessly
although i know where i need to go
just wish that there was someone that cared enough to get me there

so the strangers watch me as they laugh the night off holding hands
holding someone
and i clench my belongings
that's all i really have
just to hold something
if it can't be someone

stalling trapping myself in my 4 walls because i know i won't be able to find you there
better off wandering these roads dangerously
even though they warn me that its not safe at these hours
too bad there's no one to remind me
a lot of people will see me
but they won't notice
they'll assume i'll make it home
i always do

there are more important people in this world they have to tend to

so i clench my belongings walking home
continuously pretending there's someone for me to come home to

I fell in love with him the way you fall asleep: slowly at first, then all at once.

How did it get harder now that you're so close?
Geographically.
As in we share a zip code.

Missing you being far away just so I could imagine the great many ways life would go once we were reunited.
Sharing phone lines feeling more in sync than ever, even when connection failed us *Poor Connection, call will resume shortly

Then you'd reappear, sometimes a tad delayed and blurry,
but there.

*what's wrong love? you look like you've lost your best friend…

he doesn't know that the only reason I'm smiling is because talking to him, no matter the subject, causes me to do so.

*got me lifted, shifted, higher than the ceiling, and ooh wee it's the ultimate feeling. got me lifted, feeling so gifted. sugar how you get so fly?

there is nothing more rewarding than when a person is genuinely happy to see you.

unafraid to release the anxiety that was the waiting for their return.

hug me.

happy fall.