I been bestowed this burden
Hiding inside
Controlling my actions
Dictating what I do
And don’t do
Limiting my flexibility
Adding to my irritability
Causing physical pain
Adding to my mental distress
Complicating my relationships
What makes her and them better than me?
Why don’t they all suffer like me?
What makes me deserve this burden
I thought I was doing good
Doing what you wanted
Shedding the excess
Adding to the overall condition
But it’s a cheap trick
I been bamboozled back to square one
Its so hard to keep a smile on my face
Knowing what I know inside
Lashing out even though they don’t know
The ones who know don’t provide support
Or assistance just pressure and blame
They just say its heriditery
In your genetic line
I just want it gone
But then you tell me
What I would miss
As if I could miss this
Painful embarrassing controlling condition
And look with disgust because
I rather be barren

(c) ANBP 3/25/11

vengeance is the force
that will push you past your limits
teach you more
than you can understand
causing emotions that you
don't have the strength to overcome
I finally understand why it's necessary
to reap what you sow
because otherwise you won't comprehend
the impact of your actions
and the depth of the pain you inflict
that you insist on doing again and again
How could you ever know
the strength of my heart and legs
until you take that walk.....