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Alexandra Dogbe Dec 2015
I guess that while I was reading those countless YA romance novels,
I became fixated on the idea that love could fix anything
Even the broken girl and her just as broken smile
Her dark blue, somber thoughts will be faded to a sunny yellow with every gentle kiss and whisper
When things start to get bad, this idea is the caretaker of my hope, the sliver of light at the end of the tunnel that seems to go on for forever and a day
It even slips into my conversations with God, transforming my prayers into begging and pleading for a prince charming which most likely doesn't exist
Though now, as I continue to grow and witness the heartbreak of people closest to me, that little sliver of light has become an optical illusion, a mirage in the desert of my life

*////inspired by @poeticpoison via Instagram
Alexandra Dogbe Dec 2015
Sometimes I look up at night
and imagine what it would be like to be a star
So magnificent and unwavering
confident in such a way that they refuse to stop shining regardless of the obvious reality that everyone is too occupied staring at screens or the inside of their eyelids to stop and bask in the beauty of nature's nightly light show
Unchanging even though the world below does it constantly
Destined to become something so
brilliant and extraordinary
Their inability to never feel alone because they are constantly surrounded by their own
Alexandra Dogbe Dec 2015
I like quotes

they let me know that there is someone else out there who feels the same way that I do

and that the only difference between the two of us is that they are able to take apart the intricate highways that make up our thoughts and put them into sentences and phrases that make sense

they are reminders that I am not alone

that I am not the only one who wrestles with my inner demons on a daily basis

that I am not the only one who's face wrinkles in disgust every single time her body is reflected back at her

that I am not the only one who's one and only wish is that the bird inside her ribcage is set free so that it can go and see what everyone else was doing all around the world

quotes let me know I am not the only one

I am not alone

you are not alone

we are not alone

that fact alone cannot and will not save us,

but hey at least we know

right?
Alexandra Dogbe Dec 2015
Her head is pointed down
Her hair becoming her only shield from the harsh world
Only to be reprimanded by her own self conscious, the words harsh yet true
But she's tired of hating herself
Self destructing more and more with every second that passes,
being the cause of her own undoing
They ****, the words her brain produces, they ****
Alexandra Dogbe Dec 2015
They say "you are made of stars therefore you should love yourself"

but I seem to be made of something else

something that differs a bit from the stars everyone else seems to be made of

because the "stars" in me definitely do not deserve to be gazed at and admired like the many that so beautifully linger in the night sky

I cannot be made of stars for I am unworthy

and though it hurts to know, it is true, I will never be loved or admired, adored or glorified

Yet somehow I still manage to continue to crave these unattainable desires, in hopes that everything I think I know will reveal itself to be a lie

but we live in reality and this is the truth

which hurts, it really hurts.
Alexandra Dogbe Dec 2015
I have an abundant amount of love for the season of autumn, but as the clouds start to roll in, so does the sadness, very stealthily it climbs into my smiles when I'm sitting at lunch, attacks me in my sleep
The birds start to fly north and take my laughter with them, my happiness
I wear boots and sweaters and layers upon layers to shy myself from the fog that I know is coming, but I can never seem to stop it
The universal time for thanks giving and joyfullness becomes a period for me to wallow in my sorrow and loneliness
My fantasy of happy endings being achievable disappear with the gorgeous sunsets and cotton candy skies
I become mentally, physically and emotionally drained
My body is there but my mind never is
And everything becomes a dark shade of blue

— The End —