I don’t remember the colour of your eyes,
or the place where you last kissed me.
In fact
did you ever give me a last kiss?
cuz if you did, I lost it.
There’s too much junk in all my pockets
and I
think it should be in the pocket by my heart.

I don’t remember the shape of your smile,
or when you last held my hand.
And deep inside
my soul is searching for your handprints.
It’s messy and it’s dusty in there
and there’s no light cuz I forgot to pay my bills
and I
keep stumbling in the dark on the remains of too many souls

I don’t remember the flow of your thoughts
or the way you accentuated words.
But mostly
it’s the maze-like way you loved me
that I seem to have forgotten.
So far away in time and space it all appears tonight,
but I
am sure you loved me one late evening under the moon.

Focusingonnotmeltingunder
YoursightislikeIcarustrying
Nottoflytoo­closetothesun.
Yourtouchsome220V
Headtotoestoasted
Istuckmyfinger­sintheplug.
Walkinginyourmagneticfieldis
Steppinginadifferentdime­nsion
Mylawsofphysicsdontapplyhere.

I listen to the sound
Of you sleeping, holding my
Breath, just to feel yours.

The ice was cracking under my feet.
The ice was crackling under my feet.
This morning it wasn’t even that cold.
The sun rose earlier
At the train station the sky
Shone velvety purple.
The brisk air reminded me
Of the siberian cold
In your eyes
While your heart is burning.

Breaking, crumbling, thundering,
Smashing
Shattering the ground
Below me.
I fall
endlessly
You listen for the sound of my body
Passionately
Embracing the pavement
In silence
I entered your world
In my sleep
In silence
I will go back
to sleep.

Your heart
A badge in your lapel
Stabbed with a safety pin
Dripping dark shadows
On your black winter coat

Your eyes
The sins you never commited
You keep them wide open
Shooting bright sparks
On the moving frame of your world.

The more I try to grasp you
The more you slip away.
You switch form and shape
And state
Only to evade
The tremolous grip of my hand.

My lips sealing your lips
At last!
You undress me
And pass straight through me
To reach your inner death
to numb the pain away.

You already forgot I am there
By your side,
Naked and with my heart
Hanging out of my chest.
Deeper still, in your contemplation of death
You don't even remember what I'll never forget.

There's something very
Poetic
In the soles of my shoes.
In the way my feet
                   walk about.
Ready to run
Ready to stop
And fall on my knees.
The way that I walk:
Doubting my ankles,
Tip-toe-ing on stepping-stones
Of fear.
The terror of hearing
The cracks in the earth
And seeing my souls slipping
Through the crevices
                       of my heart.

There's something almost
Dramatic
In the peaks of the mountains
That rise inside me.
Where the souls have been digging for gold
But found only ashes
Found only dirt.
The tingle of abyssal loneliness
Spreading to the tips of my toes,
Transcending the existential essence
                               of my being.

I live vividly without visibly having the ability to live willingly nor the versatility to fight your volatility. Unequivocally I believe in relativity but unofficially I use negativity as a means of self-sufficiency. Naturally I have a proclivity towards acting predictably when publicly judging turbidity. Additionally I hide in anonymity and indignantly ignore my epiphany of the asymmetry of unanimity. Shamefacedly I turn to your intricate dystrophy and observe the futility of my soliloquy. I can' find nobility in dying deliberately, but it shows efficiency in skimming humanity. Initially my hostility was untangible but it has suspiciously aquired solidity and is now intermittently sending signs of my eccentricity. My alkalinity is running low because surreptitiously the pungency has grown. I am undoubtedly peripheral to the society and irresistibly disposable in the industry of this idiosyncrasy.

Allow me to dissemble
Myself in this beer glass
Where I pour
Everything I've left of you.
And that's a lot!
You sit there asking me
Who's this about
I laugh
You dismantle my world
With two words:
"I know".
I spill my glass, the feelings
Flow like rivers.
You know?!
I cut myself in the shards
Of your sharp words.
My skin is thin,
You know...
You stuck your fingers
In the plugs of my brain
Short-circuit!
Rewind, repeat
"I know".
The ebb and flow of my breath
At a standstill
I've forgotten my survival instincts.
You cry
In an attempt to refill my broken glass
You know
How I never get drunk
And yet I keep drinking
I drain you.
In my arms
Rattling
The earthquake
Started in your core
Ready to crumble
I hold you so tight
In an attempt to stop you from coming undone
I am what you need
Though never what you want.
I know.

How your eyes speak to mine
In the ineffable silence,
How my right hand
Makes your left
Right as rain,
How your sighs tell the truth
About my laughter,
How one step of mine
Encapsulates exactly
Two of yours,
How I hear the cracking
Of your knuckles
From miles and miles
Away,
How you touch my fears
When everyone
Stares into the darkness,
How close we are,
Don't you see?

The Myth of the Cave

I took everything you gave me
In my dark cave.
I decorated the musky stones,
Covered the holes
In the windows.
Your left hand and the scar in your palm,
The green-brownish eyes and
The stare of aged wisdom,
The what-not’s of the daily trip,
Etcetera…
These make for fake facades
To throw my throbbing
Sins in shadow.

I sit on the bed by the window
Naming the falling leaves.
You sit between the scribbled paper walls
Counting the ever-opened scars.
While the coffee grows colder,
I think of you,
Seven hundred and seventy seven
Kilometers away.
While the bottle falls empty?
You hit the floor with it,
About a thousand
Worlds away.

I hold my hand out in the void
In case yours reaches.
You hold still on the damp floor.
Empty bottles are old friends..

I whisper like madmen, words
I don't understand.
You silently hold your breath, while
Inside storms are raging.
Fracturing physical form,
Savagely splintering spirits,
Shattering shimmering souls
In the incessant night, ****** red hue
Flowing
From Little girl Blue.

Wipe away the history
     Of tomorrow!
Heavy lead lids
Covering
Coffee stained eyes
In the darkness
The yesterdays are
Revealed scintillating
Sprouting regret
Remorse digs deeper
With steel roots
Eating its way
In this chipped heart.
The flesh is stubborn
Bearing the scars
And the scabs
Of feelings no longer
Comprehended.

     **Undo the marching
     Of uncaring time!
Dead earthen soul
Descending
To new dimensions of
Uncharted abyss
Memories splinter
Fragmenting, dispersing
Millions of pieces
Of faces forgotten
Littering non-existence.
Gone is the season of life
Flashes of
Could haves
Or should haves
Or would haves
Scattered in lofty
Nothingness.

     *Set the unforgettable faces
     On fire
     The unfinished house,
     Burn that too down to ashes
     The fire is to devour
     Even the final hour.
     Bring on the fire
     To torch the desire
     Bring on the flames
     To set it all ablaze!

I give in to your hate
As you bite my lower lip
In despair
My soul unfolds
Only to wrap
All of you like a blanket
To keep you safe
I force your hand
And bend your will
I will not let you ****
Yourself
The knife piercing my skin
My flesh
My bones
My chest
Wide open
My heart beats
Alive in the palm of your hand
I stand on the edge of your conscience
Give me a push!

You've ruined it all
Into my arms
I was holding you
Into my arms
When you told me
Into my arms
I was a mistake
Into my arms
you cried
Into my arms
You asked who played that song
Into my arms
The skies in your eyes fell
Into my arms.

I dug up forty five holes
With the countenance
Of a widow in mourning.
I planted you in the dirt
With the continence
Of a monk praying.

My sinful soul
Is fertile soil.

I've planted  forty five dreams
In this piece called "heart"
I've been watering it with tears and hopes
And still
Forty  five touches
Won't bring you here in my life.

I have forty five dreams where I kiss your skin
And there are forty five light million
years
Between your eyes
And mine and my smile.