Why do we let people affect us so
So much of our happiness dependant on
The whims of another
Shocking, how little control
We really have
How we actually have little hand in
Our own happiest moments
Why are words
Sometimes more than words
And actions quickened heartbeats
And how the grapevine
Can be a vein
Of hope or desolation
How little are we really
As people
Without each other?

When I see your letters
Scarlett or otherwise
I can’t help but think
Of Hester Pryne
Marked, and tarnished
The same way I see you

They tell me
To avoid at all costs
The refuse of humanity
Wears these letters
Not A for Adulterer
Maybe ΔΡ for Date ******
ΣΔ, Excessive Drinker?
I don’t know
And I don’t intend on finding out.

Walking down the street
I often trip
Over the despondant and pathetic husks
Of Moral Invalids
It is easy to gloss over
The danger and contamination
The way these people pollute life
With delusions and manifestations
Rooted in their simple minded
Conjuration of the will of invisible men
Unfortunately the majority is swayed
Clinging desperately to
False comforts congregation brings
Interaction with them is dangerous
Even with a brush
One can catch the contagion of ill conformity
There is no method for aversion
We're continually besieged by
The Invalids

The sporadic and spastic
Deliberations
Of chance encounters
On busy streets
Haunt my dreams
Like a raindrop in a well
A mile wide
And a mile deep
Rippling across
As I spin myself
Seeking contentment beneath the sheets
Begging to make sense
Of the surreality
To take something tangible
From thoughts that barely exist
Waking in time
To just miss my breath
And worlds spiral back
Into nothingness

I've lent a hand
In times of need
Shouldering their pain
Shouldering their tears
Bearing the brunt of depression
Second listing my own childish fears
Giving, not grieving
Til I swore my heart had wings
Guardian of those I could shelter with them
An angel in no such terms
But an Angel nonetheless
Seeing the needing through
The all too near reaper
Claiming those we held dear
Sometimes hiding, and others
Keeping him from claiming another
Cuts and blood and quietness
Withered and weathered
I've seen them, felt them
Held them, beat them
Reaching out, trying to give solace
And I've come out ahead
Many claimed, but the two remained
And now I remain
Changed, but the same
Smiling that I've seen those I cherish
Or cherished
Through their trials
I want to be a savior
Though never called one
And I find myself
Completing another cycle
Seemingly no closer
No more learned
Forcing me to wonder
To ask
To ***** for the comforting embrace
Of white wings
Who Saves Me?

I'm ready to love again
To **** again
Though not one without the other
Back scars and
Beating hearts
Pressed together
How deep can your fingernails dig?
I want to hear you whisper my name
I want you to take my hand
And pull me into the storm
Ignoring the deluge
And the cacophony
Nevermind the rain
Your eyelashes are enough to shield us
Smile, or smirk
I really don't care
So long as you kiss like you mean it
Pulling me close until it hurts
Don't bite your lip
I'll do it for you
As you look on in ecstasy
Love me until it physically hurts
Love can't hurt me

Cacophony and oblivion
Sounds, “music”
And I use the term loosely
Is all you will ever find here
The last vestiges of melody
Being attacked, killed
Any lyric, rhythm
Evanesces.

Ready your soap
Your water
Your ears are about to be
Polluted
Your head
Invaded, trashed.
Any thought left for dead.

And all we are
Are Noise Machines
And all we’ll ever find
Are Noise Machines

What is it exactly, what does it mean?
To me, to You, to Our relationship.
Reliance on a person, by the book.
But, my dear, I Love You much more than books
Trust is my unwavering confidence,
My ability to give you my heart
And know, know without a doubt in the world

That it will always be safe with You, Babe.
And trust is knowing deep within myself
That even when in our darkest moments
And when the world has turned its back on You
You’ll turn your back on it, and turn to me.
I trust you’ll let me catch You when You fall.
Baby, I trust You Love me most of all

Standing before a cleaved road
Pondering the choice ahead
Trying to decide to forge a patch with you
Or to wander alone instead

Trying to solve the conflict
That sits within me now
Thinking about the things
I should have already figured out

It seems to make some sense
You and I together
But if I fall right now
I want to fall forever.

Faith is a pillow
A blankets embrace
Reaching out towards
Such rhythmic grace

Creating worlds
Not easily snuffed
So many hours
But not long enough

Find wisdom, find strength
Divine intervention
No heartache, no fear
No source of contention

Find dreams and lovers
Touch hearts, touch lips
And always they slide
Through your fingertips

Just when you think it has ended
And people have matured
You’re ready to have all the fractures mended
But another infraction occurs

Four, Sixteen, Twenty
Some think it’s too much
And some think it’s simply plenty
Well I don’t give a ****.

Some are still just part of the flock
Letting the herd dictate their life
And I had honestly thought I’d stopped
Having to deal with that kind of strife.

Who are you to think you know better
Keeping things between the lines
Following arbitrary rules to the letter
So refined?  No, so confined.

Who do you think you are
Trying to put me on trial
Well you won’t get very far
Sieg heil! Sieg heil!

Friend,
You’ll be there in the end
You’ve been as patient as can be
You withstood my constant babbling
Bizarre comments and insane rambling
You’ve always been my councilor
On situations I haven’t seen before
You’ve turned me straight, helped me get the things I’m after
And turned my sorrow into laughter
You’ve helped me out, given me order
Been my critic and my supporter
You’ve helped my mentality when it’s on the mend
Friend

I don’t know that I’ve ever been so shattered
Felt a hole in myself quite like the one you dug
To think of losing what really matters
Ending what I thought had barely begun

Sunk to hours, crying in bathroom stalls
Hoping that I could somehow hide my tears
Aimlessly wandering darkened halls
Losing the battle to quell my deepest fears

They say you don’t know what you have until it’s lost
I always knew what a crock of **** that really was
I didn’t need 48 hours of being a ghost
To know that what we have is really love

I had thought I couldn’t live without You
Or you without me.  

Now I guess we know.

How sweet are the sounds of silent kisses?
The aura of Love, sensuously loud
And how are all of my lonely wishes
Answered in the honest eyes I see now
What difference that one person can make
You take my strife and push it all away
You’re like the sunbeams dancing on my lake
Warming my cold waters day after day
And I know this is something that will last
You are the only one that I can see
Who cares about the failures of my past,
Or the demons that are still haunting me?
I have You, that will always be enough.
You are the one I will forever Love.

Love is a phone call
Lasting Five seconds
And three words

Love is a fight
Devoid of fear
Because I know
It’s there.

Love is
Hours spent
In your arms
That never feel like enough

Love is spontaneity
A weekend
I didn’t expect to be home,
More time with You

Love is peaceful moments
Watching You play solitaire
Kissing your cheek

Love is hands wandering
Mischievous smiles
Gasps and pleasured sighs

Love is everlasting
And constantly on my mind
Even when You’re busy
And I’m far away

Love is just as meaningful
When I say it now
As the day I said it first
I Love You Samantha
And I always will
Happy One Year

Hours and days sped by
Never stopping to linger
For a few blessed moments
A week and a few weekends
That were barely there
A little bit of growing up
And a lot of life
And the same difficulties
That I’ve always faced
And that we’ll face
Time and time again

How strange that we should find such beauty in
The withering of that which sustains us
That the reds and the yellows and the browns
Should give a sense of rejuvenation
When they will merely signify the end
Until the laws of the earth will claim them
Leaving only lifelessness to survey

So quickly the world turns beauty to ash
Stripping the flash of our utopia
Rendering dreams we touch to silhouettes
Grasping at the wisps of the fading past
We are left with only brushed fingertips

Though the white is the ending of it all
I will remain entranced within the fall

Some mornings I wake up
And everything I feel is magnified
It must be
The artistry within me
Surfacing so clearly
Through wilting eyelids I shine
Half scrawling
Fingers dancing with exhaustion
Fatigue lowers my defenses
Exposing me to the world

I just want something to come home to
Words
A little picture of happiness.
Something to make the empty echoes
Of a lone heart beating
A little softer

Over and over
Again my eyes flitting side to side
A smile, maybe
No promises.
Just words.
A lover’s repose

I want something to wake up to
Words
A little picture of happiness
Something to jumpstart the tired dull thuds
Of a lone heart weakening

To pull my lidless shades
Up a little
Corner of my mouth upturning
Maybe
No promises.
Just words
A lover’s invigoration.

I want something to let my heart sing to
Words
Harmonized throughout my day
Something to make the beating
Prevail
A little longer

To draw myself
Through life’s difficulties
A scant crescent
Maybe
No Promises.
Just words.
A Lover’s Endurance.

What's the point of waking
Only to be lost in the monotony of masses
Extraordinary is a myth, days blur
And time only passes

Trudge through the doldrums again
Unseen through shaded glasses
No one sees uniquities
And time only passes

And what of the broken wishes?
Teardrops roll down eyelashes
There's no escape fighting fate
And time only passes

You’ve known Her far longer
I confess I am a little jealous
And you might think that makes your bond stronger
But let’s not get over zealous

You get to spend so much more time with Her than I
Every waking minute if you really wanted to
I know how you’ve shaped the Girl that I call mine
And I’ll never love Her like you do

But know, You’ll never Love her like I do

I need to write again
Channel my manic depressive side
Put my heart on paper
Maybe it’ll come alive

I need to scrawl
Heartfelt couplets of despondency
I need to tumble down
The abyss to familiarity

I need to seek it out
Cavernous depths have strayed too long
I can hear the demons marching
I can hear them sing my song

I need to envelop myself
In the blanket of despair
Then, oh maybe then
I will inhale fresher air

Some say that True Love is impossible
That Soulmates are simply too hard to find
And some say that dreamin on a Dream Girl
Is nothing but a waste of my time

Well some say long distance just doesn’t work
That the miles will tear Us apart
Some say I’m better off looking elsewhere
But I let the right Girl into my heart

Some would say that I’m a fool that’s dreaming
That I can’t possibly know You’re the one
Some say I’ll find someone better some day
But I know My Girl’s second to none

I’m not sure what they are saying now
Your loving words are all I want to hear
I found The One for the rest of my life
I promise I’ll always Love You my Dear

What would I have found myself with

Had I looked up from the ashes

That my life had become

And seen no one there to help me up?

What mountain could I have traversed

Without you, and you, and you to allow me to be heard

Loving you like lovers

There could never be another

Of each and every one of you

And I plainly see

The bits of all of you in me

Like compass points and northern stars

Guiding me along the way

Sweeping up my shattered, still beating heart

Raining on my rainy day.

So tragic, these acts of violence
And one only begets another
Blood for blood and the river quickens
Now turbid with days no longer seen
Too weak are we to do what must be done?
Too weak are we to throw the switch?
Or is weakness ill-defined?
It is so easy to **** another man
Harder to be introspective
For some the most difficult thing
To look into, to appraise, is a mirror
Are we too weak if not enough die
If vengeance for the fallen is left unfulfilled
Or are we too weak if we don't stop it?

I am stalking silence
Shadowing it but
Remaining ever at a distance
Every once in a while
My silhouette falls upon it
But it eludes me always

I can remain in silence
In the hopes it’ll seek the company
And every once in a while
It’ll grace me with its presence
Unbroken until
Some Samaritan decides
I need saving from its grasp
But I seek comfort in it
I revel in it
Not brooding
Sweet solitude
Sweet silence

Angel, sweet whisperings
Crashing upon my deaf ears
I wish to hear your harmonies
I wish to take comfort in your embrace, but
There is no rest for lidless eyes
In no sleep will we meet
Unfound in peerless dreams

I was looking at the rain
Thinking of You
Thinking of women
And I could only see the rain
Where the pine tree stood as a backdrop

And women now are like the rain
Invisible, but for that one
Where there’s some depth
Something behind the beauty
And that my dear
Is where you come in

I want this song played
Someday.
When I dance with you
On a lonely floor.
Dressed all in white.
Smiling.
Just as I lift your veil.
Just as I meet your eyes.
Just as I kiss you.
I want that chorus to start.
Like it did when I fell in love.

“Cause every time we touch,
I get this feeling,
And every time we kiss,
I swear I can fly
Can't you feel my heart beat fast?
I want this to last,
I need you by my side.
'Cause every time we touch,
I feel the static,
And every time we kiss,
I reach for the sky.
Can't you hear my heart beat so?
I can't let you go,
I want you in my life.”

This is a place I’ve never been
A point with someone never traveled to
I’ve hit that wall over and again
But, finally, I’ve broken through with You

You’re like a never wandered path for me
With flowers growing all along the side
And I marvel at the beauty that I see
Taking my sweet time as I stroll by

This is a place I’ve never seen
I’m no longer walking scared
And I think Your Sweet Sixteen
Is a memory that’s best when shared

It’s certainly a birthday of significance
And yet it’s not the sixteen that makes it sweet
It’s that I’ve been given the blissful chance
To make You as happy as You make me

It seems like forever
Yet only a year has passed

You and I
Continue to be
A blissful
Truth

An unstoppable force
Inseparable parts
Of one
Whole

How remarkable
How incredible
So this is how happy feels

No longer do I worry
Will You be here tomorrow?

No longer will I reach for your hand
And ever be uncertain again

No longer do I smile at the thought
I smile at the reality
So this is how happy feels

I don’t have to dream about Loving You
Because I really do
(Though I still dream anyways)
You’re that special

It’s unreal
(The good kind)
So…
This is how happy feels

I lay my head down
On two curvaceous soft pillows
Taking in the scent
Of long brown strands of potpourri
While the gentle thumping
Matches the pace of my breaths
Like us, I fall and rise
Your heavy warmth surrounding my legs
Mattress, blanket, pillow all in one
I hold You tight.

So I went away again to school
Took my belongings and left You alone
Something that a good Man never should do
Make the kisses that we share together
Sometimes need to last for several days
But my strengthened heart beats ever onward
Harder, faster, for You, my Love, for You

It is an occurrence far too common
It should be a tired routine by now
The pain should be a familiar feeling
But it never gets easier to leave
I take that as proof, irrefutable
That this is something special that We have
You are the One I will forever Love

I Love You More
Sorry, it’s true
And I simply Love
Proving it to You

I Love You Stronger
Just understand
I’ll always remember
When I first took Your hand

I Love You Sweeter
Sorry, it’s a fact
And I never knew
I could Love like that

I dream of you sometimes still
I confess
At how things ended between us
Of bitterness
Wondering how something so good soured
So Fast
Nostalgic at the times we had and that you
Couldn't last
But in the melancholy I
Won’t wallow
And while endings are bitter pills, this one's not so difficult
To swallow
And I know I won't miss all the trivial games
You played
Because in my nightmare you didn't leave
You stayed

I'd like to pay the Piper
For him to whistle me home
To saddle me with the consequence
For a lifetime spent alone
But the sound of retribution
Always rings cold and stiff
And there'll be no compensation
For this life I've been living with

Wherever you are
I hope you can look back on your choices
Happy and guilt free
Silencing all your inner voices
Telling you to keep wandering

(Chorus)
does it hurt when you think of me
Because it hurts when I think of you
I hope you're remembering
All the things you couldn't do

I know I'm still lingering
You can keep sobbing otherwise
But everyone can see
The dreams playing just behind your eyes

You won't rid yourself of me
I'm not so simply disregarded
Time will tell which of us is moving on
And who's still broken hearted

(Chorus)
Does it hurt when you think of me
Because it hurts when I think of you
I hope you're remembering
All the things you couldn't do

I'm like a firecracker
Too volatile to tame
And you're just a forgotten flame
Burning down

(Chorus)
Does it hurt when you think of me
Because it hurts when I think of you
I hope you're remembering
All the things you couldn't do

Sometimes I am, at moments
Lost within myself
Taking refuge in the ruins
The utopia of my own creation

Limiting conversation
To different shades and colors
Unhinged soliloquys
Bickering amongst each other

I dream my own dreams
In a strange way
The creation causes the fantasy...causes the creation
So attainable, so intangible

Running blind
That’s what they call it
How sad is it
I can even fall without falling
Calling your name
But I don’t even have that
Merely an echo in my head
A vague impression
Thoughts and dreams

Who are you
I find myself asking
I can almost touch you
But I don’t even know your name
I’ve felt your presence for a while now
I confess
I know you’ve been close all along
My soul mate
Yet I remain in ignorance
Running blind, as they say
And still running

It’s interesting, being with You
I have such conflicting feelings
About our relationship

Not between good and bad
But both positive
On one hand, You make me feel so comfortable
Being with You is like laying in a warm bed
Utterly content, and I don’t want to move

But equally powerful is the excitement
I’ve been with you for to years
And we’ve learned volumes
What happens in ten…twenty?
How will You…I…We…change?
I guess that’s what relationships are about
Things shifting and learning
With that one constant
That one comfort
Love

Life
The only thing, ironically
With a one hundred percent mortality rate
Life, it drowns us all
Be it the simple sacrifice
Of the present for a greater future
That is no guarantee
Or the inexorable weight
Of a thousand stresses bearing down

Life
You look ahead
Only to have it nip you from behind
Don’t get caught counting chickens
Don’t lose your mind

I can see my own hands
No further
Only what I am and what I make
My actions become me, drive me
Invigorate
I’ll not look beyond what comes to me
Seeking solace in the momentary reverie

Look into the crowd and see the smiles
There is genuine happiness abound
Now We stand here after all the miles
Bells are ringing.  Is there a sweeter sound?

Look at the flowers, effervescent reds
Contrasting with Your flowing pristine white
Your loveliness, it turns so many heads
Oh how lovely I’ll make You feel tonight

Look into my eyes, and see tears of bliss
See dreams that are finally coming true
I never thought that things could come to this
And yet with You, somehow I always knew

I whisper, from the bottom of my heart
In happiness, ‘til death do Us part.

Some don't understand what home is
Speaking of our city with derision
They just don't get it
And sure, people have left in droves
It isn't what it used to be
But nowhere do I feel
The sense of contentment
That I do there
I've never fit anywhere
But in Buffalo I do
My heart understands what home is
Where it beats a little softer
Where I breathe a little deeper
Walk a little slower
Smile a little more
"The reasons
They don't seem legitimate when you say them aloud
But in your heart.
There's something real here."

You say that I don’t smile enough
That I never seem happy
When the truth is
I’ve never been more at peace with myself
And the life going on around me

It must seem like I’m thoroughly unimpressed
With what it is You have to offer
But that couldn’t be more wrong
I smiled when You laid Your head down on my chest
Your eyes were shut.
So were mine.
But I knew You were happy

Maybe You’re looking at things the wrong way
I mean I don’t kiss You because I’m happy
I’m happy because I’ve kissed You
Happiness doesn’t bring Love
Love brings happiness
And Yours brings Volumes

I never tire of being here
Having suppressed all of my childish fears
And I hate when I have to leave
I wish that I could never leave
But your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

My wounds are just starting to heal
So much pain I no longer feel
There's just so much Your Love has to erase

And I cried You’d wipe away all of my tears
When I’d scream You'd fight away all of my fears
And you’ll hold my hand through all of these years
You’ll always have
All of me

You still captivate me
By your resonating life
I'm bound by the thoughts you've put in my mind
Your face graces
My once fitful dreams
Your voice it chased away
The insanity in me

My wounds are starting to heal
So much pain I no longer feel
There's just so much Your Love has to erase

And I cried You’d wipe away all of my tears
When I’d scream You'd fight away all of my fears
And you’ll hold my hand through all of these years
You’ll always have
All of me

I've tried so hard to tell myself You’ll never leave
I’m sorry that I’ve been so weak
It took so long but now
I believe

Every once in a while,
When I think of your smile,
My brain will compile
All the dreams that I had for you.

And then there are days,
When I think of the gaze,
And the lovely craze,
With which I saw you.

But so it would seem,
These thoughts stay in a dream,
And though I wanted to scream,
It’s just not going to happen.

But I thank you for your time,
Your inspiration to rhyme,
I love you as a friend,
And that, will never end.

Try as I might
Though not very hard
I can’t not see the signs
Directing my heart

And call me young
Call me naïve
I can’t help but hold on,
Can’t help but believe

Some say it’s a lie
That The One is just a myth
Then what explains
This feeling I live with?

I can’t help but know
What nobody knows
That wherever I go
I’m only this close

Don’t talk sense into me
She’s out there, she’s real
I know what life can be
I know what I can feel

I Love You More
Sorry, it’s true
And I simply Love
Proving it to You

I Love You Stronger
Just understand
I’ll always remember
When I first took Your hand

I Love You Sweeter
Sorry, it’s a fact
And I never knew
I could Love like that

Ever see someone and be blown away
Even though it’s a year, a month and several days
Since the one she first said yes?

Yet I sit here, heart beating no less
Faster and harder
When all of a sudden things
Have gone better and farther
Than the heights I thought I’d reach
But what’s stunning is I’ve so much more to learn
And You have so much more to teach
When our eyes lock in that gaze
Your Love envelopes me
And avoids the clichés
Never did I think my demons could be disbanded
Or know that I could have so much
While still being empty handed
But not empty hearted
While it’s amazing that we’ve only just started
And I often look ahead
There’s no where I’d rather be
Than right here, right now
In this bed.

I can look myself in the mirror
Without recrimination
Knowing the events that have shaped my life
These past few months
Haven't changed me all that much
That you can place your hands
And still feel the vibrations
That what was lost was merely let go
And what wasn't there, wasn't lost
That I haven't succumbed
To the cynicism and bitterness
So easily wallowed in
But the incomprehensible cannot be stopped
It is still there